Posted by Dr. Bob on December 14, 2005, at 17:58:34
In reply to Re: scapegoating please be civil/I have been/bye » Dr. Bob, posted by allisonross on December 14, 2005, at 14:33:50
> > > As a child, I fought back constantly agains the abuse. I asked my sister "why was I the scapegoat?" She said: "Because you would never shut up!"
> >
> > I'm not saying you should shut up
>
> What is the purpose in saying thatI wanted to reassure you that I wasn't trying to silence you.
> > but I do wonder if you're becoming a scapegoat here...
>
> Why do you say this?
>
> If you wonder about this, why haven't you done something?I did do something, I raised the issue...
> If I am "their scapegoat". it is because of "their" stuff. Nothing to do with me.
>
> Validating it was a mistake, and that was what I was doing.---Explaining myself over and overI'm glad you're thinking about what your role in this may have been.
> So, because I didn't say I...feel criticized when I hear this, I get a message?
>
> In other words everything has to be exact and precise, or someone is sent a message, blocked or scolded. This place feels like grade school, with a lot of time-outs.
>
> i am a member (for years) of AS--abused survivors, and it is an incredible place of safety, sensitivity and understanding... There is NONE of what goes on here......in that group, that is why I was so stunned.There are limits here, yes. It can in fact feel like grade school, or unsafe, to some. I'm glad you have an alternative support group. This isn't the place for everyone. But you're welcome to give us another try after your block!
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:589052
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20051205/msgs/589096.html