Posted by verne on November 29, 2005, at 23:59:39
In reply to Re: Being Supportive, posted by Dr. Bob on November 29, 2005, at 1:46:00
I didn't follow the thread but I had difficulty with the posts for different reasons.
When we say, "The only one who seems to be offended here ... is you." and "You're pretty upset that some of us are shining the bright light of reality on this situation", aren't we invalidating the other person's reality?
We are even telling them how they FEEL - offended - and that they are the "only one" feeling that way. Then there's more telling them how they feel with, you are "pretty upset".
And finally, to say that we have the "light of reality" - suggests the other person doesn't. That they live in a dark unreal place.
Being borderline I have a huge problem with people telling me what I think and how I feel. This sort of invalidation really frustrates me.
I think we just need to let people be who they are and not try to think and feel for them.
Verne
poster:verne
thread:582727
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20051013/msgs/583580.html