Posted by AuntieMel on February 22, 2005, at 8:59:01
In reply to Re: Civility or censorship? I'm surprised » AuntieMel, posted by alexandra_k on February 21, 2005, at 16:10:04
Actually, since we've beaten this poor horse so many times it's amazing it still looks like a horse, I'm not surprised other folks had this reaction.
It *does* surprise me that it comes from you. Please don't read this as criticism or a put down. I'm just seeing some similarities between this and a situation you ran into.
Here you say:
"He quoted the DSM crieria for Borderline Personality Disorder and said 'In my opinion it would be hard to trust or communicate with someone who exhibits such severe symptoms as these' or something similar."
and:
"But compassion, empathy, kindness, and faith in others intentions are not matters of logic. I hope that I never let logic get in the way of those things. I have little tolerance for people who do."
but on social you said:
"Can you say something that is educational though possibly a bit hurtful (though not uncivil).
In the sense that sometimes it is painful to face up to stuff... but that the long term goods outweigh the initial 'ouch'. Not that we have the final word on the truth or anything, but can we say what we think and leave the uptake to the other person. They can reject it if they will..."
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I posted a diagnostic criteria for someone to consider. Posted a link to a criteria (list of symptoms) and a bit of a discussion about the experience of those symptoms.
Said 'just a thought' with the links.
Told off for 'armchair diagnosing'.
That was not my intention.
The poster could have done what they wanted with it but in this case they got MOST OFFENDED.Anyways. I just presented it as something to consider.
A genuine attempt to be helpful
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And they could have said 'had a look, but I really don't think it applies' in which case I would have left it there.
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I knew this person would get pissed off.
But I thought they might reconsider what I had said sometime when they were ready to look at it...+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Anyway, I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone, and I don't believe fires did either. It seems to me that you both have (have had) good intentions and the delivery went astray. So, does that explain a bit why I was surprised?
poster:AuntieMel
thread:461256
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050219/msgs/461705.html