Posted by AuntieMel on February 9, 2005, at 12:37:51
In reply to Re: my house is only so large, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 20:15:03
First start with :
> > I wouldn't want to get cozy with anyone that could.
>
> Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.By "get cozy" I mean "be in a cozy room with." All I said was I wouldn't want to share that cozy room with someone that didn't mind that others couldn't come in. I still stand by that.
BUT!!!!! That doesn't mean that I think that this person would be a bad person or that I wouldn't respect their feelings. And I would happily socialize with them outside the room. But I don't see anything insensitive about saying - in essence - "I wouldn't want to {be in a 'cozy' room with}
anyone that could {feel cozy with not allowing someone in.} I'm talking about how I feel, not anyone else.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > Even then, there was not a finite number of people that could join. It was just the way things developed that it started small and then grew.
>
> That would be a difference, yes, but still each of them could start small and then grow...
>Well, actually they can't keep growing, can they? Isn't that the point?
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> > First-come-first-served is (to me) the same as saying that my house is only so large, so my kids can visit but the grandkids or their kids can't come over. Even if one of my kids is temporarily out of town - because they will come back.
>
> OK, your house is in fact only so large, right?
>
> We could have going out of town open up a spot... And you could go out if you wanted to have a larger get-together?
>An out-of-town opening would only be temporary, right? So that person would get kicked out when the first person comes back? That sounds (to me) a lot like "gee, nice seeing ya, but you were only a visitor, so don't let the door hit ya..."
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> > But to the coziness question? How can anyone feel cozy if there is someone that wants to join but they just-don't-fit-so-tough-luck-even-though-everyone-likes-you?
>
> It's not just tough luck, they could join another cozy room.
>
> Is there anxiety is that some smaller boards would be "better" than others? That one might miss out? Or feel guilty if it their board were one of them?
>Well, actually, as one who was shoved into a "small town" environment {I was in third grade and had experienced better} where only third generation townies were accepted {this applied to the kids, too} I know only too well what it feels like to be on the outside looking in.
I swore that I wouldn't do that to others, or pre-judge anyone. So - for me ------ It's the principle!!!!! ------
But now that you mention it... crudely borrowing from Orwell, I *do* envision "All cozy rooms are created equal. But some cozy rooms are more equal than others."
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> > How about a separate (expandable) room for those that think there should be no walls.
>
> How would that be different from Social?
>What's wrong with social?
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And about the house - sure it's finite in size. But you wouldn't know it - I can always squeeze in more. One time, BD, I had a backyard BBQ and hubby comes home and says 'I hope you don't mind but I invited about 20-30 people and their spouses.' My answer? 'I guess I can't fuss at you 'cause I just did the same thing.'
Most of them showed up.
Mel
poster:AuntieMel
thread:441543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050128/msgs/455427.html