Posted by Gabbix2 on February 7, 2005, at 20:27:27
In reply to Bobtuse, posted by Toph on February 6, 2005, at 21:08:02
two posters disagree and one is not supportive of the other, is it not condescending for Bob to stop the discourse when both parties may not want his intrusion? The other day at work I overheard a guy say something overtly sexist to a fellow female employee. I jumped in and chivalrously chastised his boorish comment. I was quickly knocked off my high horse when the woman told me to stop patronizing her, that she could handle this situation herself.
>Well, I think what you did was great. I wouldn't have felt patronized. I think it's important that men hear from other men that sexism isn't just a woman's issue, just as racism isn't a visible minority issue. I hope it doesn't stop you from speaking out in the future, although obviously it will if she's involved.
I don't generally find Bob's intervention to be patronizing either, though I haven't had it happen to me. I like it when people support others when they see something that looks unfair, it feels more validating than patronizing to me but I guess I can understand why some would see it as an intrusion. Generally I like the civility rules, what I don't like is the inconsistancy in the way the punishments are applied, that's a big issue for me, and often I think the blocks are far too long.
I wish Bob would be less condescending towards the adults on this site who, for the most part, are competent individuals capable of resolving many disagreements on their own without his demeaning interference. Even skilled caregivers of children are aware that while intervention is sometimes necessary to prevent harm, in many circumstances disputes need only be observed in order that children are allowed to learn for themselves how to work things out. Therapeutic group members by and large police their own conduct. As a PB participant of less than a year’s time, I wonder how many interesting and valuable posters have left frustrated and degraded by restrained speech. Imagine how dynamic this group could be if members were treated in a more adult fashion, if Bob demonstrated better discretion with his use of authority by investigating before reacting, and if we all had more of a say in helping each other become more respectful of each other.
>
> Toph
poster:Gabbix2
thread:454128
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050128/msgs/454664.html