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Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » alexandra_k

Posted by Gabbix2 on January 31, 2005, at 20:51:26

In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this..., posted by alexandra_k on January 31, 2005, at 20:17:27

> > > We can choose how to view this...
>
> > I don't need someone to show me how to choose.
>
> I am not trying to tell you or show you *how* to choose, I am trying to tell you or show you that it is in fact a matter of choice.
>
Of course it's a matter of choice, what else would it be?
> You have the choice, we all do.
> I don't care *what* people choose.
> I care how people feel as a consequence of their choice.
> I am trying to show you that there are options.
>
Again, when you phrase it like that "I'm trying to show you" it sounds to me as if you feel you are somehow gifted with something that I am unable to see, I'm afraid in this instance that's just not the case. I hear what you are saying, I don't agree with it.
> >My feelings are not hurt, I'm angry, and I'm disappointed.
>
> Hmm. I would consider anger and disappointment to be painful feelings. Feelings that are unpleasant anyways. Yes but to me quite different than hurt.

>
> I don't care whether people want small boards or not. I don't care whether there are small boards or not.
>
> I do care about how people feel about whether small boards happen or not.
>
> But you choose to feel a certain way as a result of the way you choose to view small boards.

There are a few things in life I get angry about.
Cliquisheness/elitism or any of it's variances one of them.
Anger can be constructive and, as long as I still see people as individuals and do not direct my anger where it's not warranted
I have no problem with it, so perhaps you shouldn't be upset about my feelings.

> But I wish people weren't so upset / hurt / disappointed / whatever about this.
> I wish people wouldn't question Dr Bob's motives about this.

Dinah explained quite well some reasons he might have for this that were not innately negative, but a different way of viewing Babble. I agreed with her.

Because I can see things both ways. I can see how one could be well intentioned and want small boards. I can see how one could be well intentioned and not want small boards.

And??

> I just wish people weren't so upset about this...

Well, I'm not going to stop being upset about things I think are potentially hurtful, and I'm not going to choose to not see it as potentially hurtful in order to ease into a tepid congeniality.



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poster:Gabbix2 thread:441543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050128/msgs/450787.html