Posted by alexandra_k on October 28, 2004, at 20:44:03
In reply to Lou's reply to alexander_k, posted by Lou Pilder on October 28, 2004, at 20:11:36
alexandra_k (it's the girl version).
>You wrote,[...I do not think that people are {intenionally} trying to hurt or pick on you....].
>What facts did you take into consideration to make you think that?Deciding what the fact of the matter is about someones intentions is indeed a very hard thing to do. Sometimes I have to try to examine myself very thoroughly indeed to try to work out what my intentions are.
I just think that the fact that so many people said that they didn't want you to go, or at least posted that they wished you well could indeed be taken as evidence that people care about you. If they do indeed care, then I would think that they would not wish to hurt you or cause you offence.
Deciding whether others intend something to be attacking or hurtful or offensive or not can be hard. To a very large extent it is a matter of faith and trust but those things can be very hard when one has been hurt in the past.
I for one would not wish to post anything that would hurt you or cause you offence, and I think that most of the posters here would share that. That being said people do lash out sometimes (at least I do) when frustrated. If you constantly interpret others intentions negatively (and I am not accusing you of this) - but if someone does this then others firstly try to clarify their intentions but if that is not well recieved then they may resort to lashing out.
I don't think that peoples attempts to explain their feelings to you have been well received. Which is why people are responding by lashing out or withdrawing from you.
Peoples intentions can be a matter of self-fulfilling prophecy.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:408455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041027/msgs/408581.html