Posted by tealady on December 24, 2003, at 2:15:40
In reply to Re: blocked for week » Larry Hoover, posted by Dr. Bob on December 23, 2003, at 9:40:50
Dr Bob,
Below is what I wrote to Tabitha:- (which explains, I hope, my thoughts on this)
Personally, as I said in a previous post I value
"...Someone to not only listen ..but also someone to communicate with me and share their thoughts on the matter. This is a far bigger ask than just wanting people to agree with you or give you some sympathy, ..probably why it is hard to find.
But to me this is far more valuable.. "Lar said..." I put a lot into every post I send ...(except those where I'm being goofy, and I think those are obvious). I carefully select every word, and sometimes I'm feeling literal fear when I hit the send button.....not because I'm afraid I'll be taken wrong, or might say the wrong thing, but because I've put so much of me into it. You used the phrase "pearls of wisdom"....just as a thematic concept.
That is what I have really value..someone replying with their as carefully considered thoughts..as I said above.."this is a far bigger ask".....especially if make they make the effort to carefully select their words and use descriptive language
Tabitha you said to me
" Tell you what.. if you're OK with being told you give mixed messages and have mutually incompatible thought clusters coming from you.. how about I just give Larry's post to you as a gift?
Tabitha ..I can only say thanks for the wonderful gift. I would value any reply to me that which was written with so much care and thought. ...."
Dr Bob
In the middle of what I thought was an extremely well written post,
Lar said "I erroneously thought Tabitha was receptive to having ideas about her problem suggested to her.
That's how I read her message(she above as to why I interpreted it this way as well).>>>>Lar said" Apparently, she was not, and I would not otherwise have addressed ideas in her world. I'm sorry, Tab."
Dr Bob ..I can't see anything wrong with this.. it is how I interpret what happened too, and I think this apology from Lar is offered most civilly.
>>> > The problems we have are the result of you saying, in so many words, what I'm doing wrong... That is a boundary violation.
> >
> >>>> I erroneously thought Tabitha was receptive to having ideas about her problem suggested to her... Apparently, she was not
>
> Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down. Sorry, but I've already asked you to be civil, so now I'm going to block you from posting for a week.
>
> BobI just cannot see what is so wrong with these 2 statements.
Jan
poster:tealady
thread:293052
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031120/msgs/293052.html