Posted by tealady on November 3, 2003, at 9:21:22
In reply to Re: Civility, posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2003, at 11:29:17
Dr. Bob,
I'm hoping in offering my own personal view, it may lead to more thoughts/discussion about what may be happening as I feel the unease. I'm not saying I am right or wrong just expressing an opinion in the hope it may help in some way and not hurt anyone. I'm hoping that discussion of admin policy is what this board is for.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031008/msgs/274230.html communication.....this should show that posters need to be able to be as clear as possible in what they are trying to say and to whom they are directing it. This appears to be uncivil by your definition, but for effective communication it needs to be able to happen. If this causes someone to feel put down a little, perhaps they need to be able to learn so they can change their behaviour in the future? If one cannot tell another poster there are hurting you or they may have a differing view to you..well the atmosphere of the forum suffers, as it has recently, at least to me.It does stop many other readers from misinterpreting the meaning and being hurt, by words which DO fit your civility rules as they do not directly lead anyone in particular to fell put down. Posting in this style creates an atmosphere which is not pleasant to be in, way too much uneasiness. It could cause a lot worse.
People are being hurt a lot more by not allowing direct communication between posters. By this I obvious do not mean personal attacks of by one poster of another, but polite posts saying explicitly what they mean and how it affects them or others.
I think Brio pointed out how bans are completely ineffective if posters so wish.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031008/msgs/275212.html Susan
"I'm not disrespecting the views of others here and I don't think any *person* here is wrong. I *do* think there is something intrinsically wrong with the culture here that purports to be supportive and yet so obviously fosters such discontent... "
I think we are all saying the same thing....civility rules as currently applied cannot work.
I think, this is because a forum must allow effective communication, and this cannot happen without occasionally someone feeling put down a little as someone may disagree with them or say they are hurt by something posted. I think posters need to be able to post clearly without having to resort to hints, examples, abstractions.
I no longer feel safe on this board, as I misinterpret posts especially when it matters more, ie. when I am depressed, as they have not been able to written clearly enough for me to understand their intent or even who they are for...due to the interpretation being applied to civility rules.I also tend to pick up on dropped remarks and feel hurt. This has not helped me at all. The problem is I feel a lot were aimed at me perhaps as I was depressed, but then others may also think similarly and be hurt too. Even if they are aimed at others, this also hurts me, as I feel their discomfort. This is the atmosphere here I am talking about, All civil.
I came to support others and for support as well as to learn and share any experiences I may have had.I have learnt a lot but also have felt uncomfortable a lot of the time from what appears to be hinted at in many other posts.
I also think there are many posts that should have been deleted. If posts are merely there to hurt or annoy or provoke a reaction etc., they should be deleted. This is far more important and effective than banning anyone....I do not think discontent is inevitable.
All my opinion only FWIW, Jan
poster:tealady
thread:274945
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031008/msgs/276055.html