Posted by Dinah on October 19, 2003, at 8:41:44
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse MamaB, posted by MamaB on October 19, 2003, at 6:15:08
This is bound to be redirected with great vigor, but I had to weigh in.
Psych types are fond of saying that. And I think maybe if they want it accepted better, they should think of a better way to say it. If someone says "You are weird, get away." or "You are no longer my daughter." they are saying something hurtful. To be hurt by it is natural. It is not a choice. You can make a choice not to be hurt by it, but only by blocking the natural inborn human response (which was bred into us for a reason). And blocking that response causes as much psychological damage as giving into it.
So how about "My husband said or did something hurtful, and I was hurt and angered by it." when that is indeed appropriate, and "My husband said or did something that he didn't mean to be hurtful and wasn't hurtful in itself, yet I find myself hurt and angered by it and need to figure out why."
It's fine to take responsibility for your feelings, but only to the extent that it is appropriate to do so.
P.S. I've never seen Dr. Bob interfere with someone discussing their illegal drug use.
poster:Dinah
thread:270380
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031008/msgs/270765.html