Posted by Larry Hoover on August 23, 2003, at 12:37:07
In reply to Re: A short introduction to etymology » Larry Hoover, posted by Susan J on August 23, 2003, at 11:46:20
> >>Well, there are a few threads that have played out here which have left me very uncomfortable, and I can now discuss why that is. It has totally disturbed my sleep last night, and I feel the need to express my opinions and feelings, in full knowledge that I am a biased observer. I wasn't even a participant, and my feelings were hurt. So, in case somebody goes there, *I* was hurt by what I read. I know other people were, too.
>
> <<I am sorry if anything I contributed to these threads hurt you or contributed to your discomfort.Not in any way. I was not referring to your posts. Thanks for apologizing.
>I started off trying to help, then felt attacked, then felt the need to defend myself. And sticking up for myself is one of the things my therapist told me to do so that I felt more empowered, more in control over my own life.
I think that your feeling attacked was justified, and your responses were measured and on point.
> Not that you wanted to know that or anything. It's an explanation, not an excuse.You needed to say it, so I'm happy to listen. And, your posts were not the least bit offensive to me.
> I liked your post, too. Very eloquent.Thanks. I'm finding flaws in it, as I reread it, but I think I got my point across. I wonder though, what anyone might think if I ever was to say that I think someone was nice.
> Could you or somebody else please tell me why I(and others) get drawn into these types of arguments that really have no merit?
>
> Thanks,
> SusanI'll tell you how I get drawn in. (Had I not been at a fair with my kids, you might have seen me posting in the middle of the whole brouhaha, rather than at the end.) I get drawn in when someone judges me. They may question my motives, my values, my intent, my meaning. Or out of the blue, assumptions are made which are totally unfair, inappropriate, hyperbolic, pejorative by inference,....
I know who I am, and I'll happily tell you. But, don't tell me who I am, what I meant, what I value....
And, no matter what, don't trivialize or dismiss my feelings.
Susan, I have only "seen" a little bit of who you are, but my impression is one of great sensitivity, and strong empathy. I don't think you need worry overly much about how you use your judgment.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:253323
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030808/msgs/253372.html