Posted by IsoM on January 16, 2003, at 12:46:04
In reply to Re: posting in a non-racist manner » IsoM, posted by OddipusRex on January 16, 2003, at 8:10:47
Rex, you asked "How would you help your son know what was acceptable language and what was not in situations like this?"
There's little need for me to remind him at his age now (he's 27) but when he was growing up, I had plenty of opportunities to show him both by word & example what was acceptable & what wasn't. He had two younger brothers & he was included in all our outside the home & within the home social functions plus school.
I know he found it difficult many times as he was growing up, but Asperger children learn more by rote than by being able to judge each example as it comes up by its individual context. I taught him that it was polite to stand when older people entered the room & to politely greet them. He would shake hands & greet people with those entering a building at an outside function. He was diligent with 'thank you' & 'you're welcome' & other common courtesies. All these things can be taught them with no stress involved.
With Asperger people, when new situations arise outside their scope of experience, they need to learn what to do. It doesn't come automatically to them as most people.
I use this analogy:
No one has to be taught how to laugh at a funny story - it's natural to do so. But if you wish to learn how to ride a bike, you need to learn how. Once learned though, you don't forget. Children (& adults) with Asperger need to be taught how to deal with social situations either one-on-one or in groups of people. One of the problems with Asperger's is they can't read facial & body language unless they learned what the obvious ones are. Even now at 27, my son will often ask when watching a news show how I think a certain person comes across or what they're projecting. He's still trying to learn more & compare what he thinks a person is to my opinions.In any particular situation like you mentioned (dealing with racial language), my son would answer in a strictly traditional polite manner. He's NOT afraid to state his views regarding matters & would adamantly view ALL racial slurs or derogatory language as wrong. He sees ethical & moral matters almost black or white. It's either wrong or right. For matters like that, he uses principles not strict rules. That may be a matter more of my principles & how I raised my sons as they all tend too, just not as strictly as my son with Asperger.
poster:IsoM
thread:8766
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20021128/msgs/8841.html