Posted by ShelliR on September 12, 2002, at 20:11:23
In reply to Re: administration and support, posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 17:09:56
> > Frustrated? Yes, we're all VERY frustrated. Can't you possibly see that?
> I see that. Please try to accept the things you cannot change.
Dr. Bob, I thought that I had already reached the point that nothing you do now surprises me, or could disappoint me further. Then you say or do something else that increases the depth of my disappointment and further diminishes my respect for your administrative abilities.
> I see that. Please try to accept the things you cannot change. <
Okay, that would seem at this point like a reasonable thing to say and way to go if we're still talking about something like the added boards. They have already been decided upon after lots of discussion re pros and cons. Not that the discussion had anything to do with the results, but yes, a decision has been made and I agree that it would be a waste of time and energy to continue to address the issue.
On the other hand, each time you warn or censor a poster, a different decision has to be made. No two posts are alike; so each must be analyzed individually.
So I truly do not get your advise to "try to accept things that you cannot change" in this context, finding it incredibly demeaning and disturbing that any negative feedback distresses you so. It reveals a determination to be totally closed-minded.
Re my disappointment: I already have learned that you lack the humility to admit EVER that you had made an error in a warning or censor. I didn't realize, however, that you were not even processing and analyzing the actions you take that produce a myriad of complaints. For example, the title line fiasco, (when Sandra Dee was censored because she innocently forgot to change a title line, while the creator of the title line didn't even receive a warning). This was a time when not one poster agreed or supported you in a post, yet you continue to repeat your familiar adage: "please try to accept the things you can not change."
I would just like to modify that line to include the whole serenity prayer: "grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.So I am waiting, perhaps very foolishly, for you to develop both courage and wisdom--the totality of serenity. At this point, I believe the majority of posters are light years ahead of you in having both courage and wisdom, as well as acceptance. And I don't understand how a man compassionate enough to set up a board to support people with depression, can lack such simple courtesy as to tell people basically to "shut up" regarding decisions they think you have handled badly. I also find it sort of tackless than when someone praises you for your administrative skills or your generousity, you write a thank you post back to them. I find it offensive because, and only because, you so discourage negative feedback and yet you shamelessly acknowledge positive feedback only.
I feel so foolish that I once volunteered to set up a pledge drive to raise money for this site, in light of the increasing totalitarianism. I certainly believe the LEAST you can do is pay for the site out of pocket.
Shelli
poster:ShelliR
thread:7354
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020725/msgs/7399.html