Posted by beardedlady on July 22, 2002, at 5:31:15
In reply to Re: parallel construction, posted by Dr. Bob on July 21, 2002, at 22:55:10
Dr. Bob:
Great.
> Aren't all the lead words already verbs?
Yes, but when you shorten the segments, you have a weird thing happening: "Please don't post anything that others could take as accusatory or put them down." It's simply awkward, as it has too many verbs and an extra pronoun. The word "post" should have been the sentence's verb, and the others should be nouns: "Please don't post anything others could take as accusations or put-downs." Otherwise, the second part of the admonishment means: "Don't post anything that others could take as put them down."
> IMO, putting others down is a little more general than insulting them, so I'd prefer to leave it that way.
Okey dokey.
> I included the "et cetera" to make it clear this wasn't an exhaustive list.
Okey dokey once again.
> The order and "accusatory" vs. "accusation" are just a matter of preference and not "errors", right?
Sort of. But accusatory is an adjective, and accusation is a noun. No noun follows the adjective, so it looks like it's dangling there. In addition, since put-down is a noun, the other should be too. That's also parallel construction.
Here's your sentence now:
Please don't be sarcastic, joke about death or suicide, suggest that others harm themselves or someone else, jump to conclusions about others or their experiences, pressure others, exaggerate or overgeneralize, use language that might offend others, or post anything that others could take as an accusation or a put-down, etc.
What do you think? A good edit, I'd say.
beardy
poster:beardedlady
thread:6346
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020627/msgs/6486.html