Posted by krazy kat on July 10, 2002, at 19:45:51
In reply to Re: May I post?If so, a response for Shar and others.., posted by shar on July 10, 2002, at 18:13:59
>> Luckily, there are people who continue to post in warm and helpful ways, evidently without that fear...
-- true, but I was expressing my experience, which is really all I can do. I admitted to being selfish in my actions...
> > It is a simple issue of priorities, imo...
-- "I guess if someone isn't interested in supporting the people who are in pain" -- the problem, Shar is this comment. I wish I could support those in pain. And, I am in pain over this whole thing. You made an incorrect assumption... Priorites are not limited to 1 and 2 -- they are 1-1/2 to 100-1/2 and the decisions that go along with them are Very difficult.
> > I do not see how the ability to communicate with others has been taken away. If the priority is communicating, and one is blocked, one can learn how to communicate in a more acceptable manner. But that is only if the priority is to communicate with those who need help.
Do you have family, Shar? Other priorities? This is a rhetorical question b/c I can't continue to spend my energy here, but I wonder... try spending A LOT of time when you aren't feeling very good about YOURSELF responding to a very sensitive person, thinking you've done it as well as you can, followed Dr. Bob's very undefined "rules" as well as you can, been as well-intentioned as you can, and you get a PBC. Without any real explanation for what was wrong with your post. That was very harmful for me.
> > I honestly believe you believe there is much more to it than that.
-- Well, thank you.
> > Most of us have left emails where we can be reached if someone needs help or to stay in touch, so this is not necessarily true.
> It is only true in the sense that someone who has a desire to participate in this *community* will do so. Leaving an email addy is different from what my post was about.-- no it's not. you indicated that those leaving weren't concerned about those who are staying. we are. we need to leave for various reasons, for ourselves, but we also are concerned enough to leave our emails where they potentially Could be used or abused by others...
I'm not even going to touch the admin thing. If it's not what you all staying have wanted it to be, then I imagine you can change it. Or, again, Dr. Bob can just can it, and use his email for complaints, website problems, etc...>> Which is fine, if that's how they want to spend their time.
-- this is such a Great example of hidden incivility on this site... but if I were to be more forthright, I'd be blocked asap...
> > "They'll undoubtedly be missed by some, but if PSB gets back to the business of support etc., I think the grieving process will be short" (Shar) - wow. ouch.
> >
> This is simply how I see the dynamic: back to basics; we have people here who are in serious pain and need support. If Person X leaves, sure Person X will be missed, but to someone in serious pain, what they need is support (which the missing person no longer gives in the context of this board). If I am on the verge of suicide, writing a post about 'how am I gonna make it,' it is unlikely I will spend a lot of time wishing Person X was here to reply. What I'd need and want would be to hear from the people who ARE here and ARE willing to talk to me, and help. Again, just my own take on the situation.-- My take is that one has to get to know the people on the board before they help, so a revolving door approach is actually much less helpful for everyone. But that's where the site is going, so.... And how can I not take this personally? I'm one of the ones leaving. I'm glad you and I didn't have a "Close" relationship in any way...
-- Again, I'm not even going to touch the admin comments. Make it whatever you want it to be. All of you can keep silent when a new poster gets blocked for trying to understand an ongoing thread. Frankly, I think the "old timers" are given more slack than the middle children and the newbies - but then Dr. Bob would Really disagree with me there, I'm sure. :)
Whatever. It's your board again, with some good new folks. I hope you enjoy it and I sense that you are happy to lose folks like moi. ;)
- KK
poster:krazy kat
thread:6155
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020627/msgs/6171.html