Posted by shar on July 5, 2002, at 2:07:58
In reply to Thanks and goodbye too..., posted by IsoM on July 4, 2002, at 22:51:21
There is so much of this that is the natural ebb and flow that occurs in groups. Especially groups that have an authority figure--like this one. Dynamics-wise (IMHO) it is very much like a family here. We can ask Dr. Bob (dad) to do things, to not do things, to reconsider things he's done already.....but it is a much Safer place than most of our homes would've been, and the Consequences of being told yes, no, maybe--well they are really pretty minor (as in, nobody will assault you, berate you, shame you, humiliate you, abuse you). Maybe someone will get annoyed or upset with another poster, but it is a great thing to learn how to handle that and accept that we don't have to change because someone else thinks we should, we can survive someone being annoyed with us....we can even continue to like them just fine.
Here, you voice your opinion and Dad does what he thinks is right. That's about the only option available to the person in authority. Disagreements (even strong ones) are accepted here, unlike in many homes (at least mine). Getting mad is ok, within certain boundaries. Being frank, same thing. Input can be given, too, which is also different than what many of us grew up with. We are accepted, by and large, as we are; there will always be posters that have rough patches with each other, and with Dr. Bob. But, just think how much freedom that is compared to everyday life (at least mine).
I want there to be a way for you to stay and get something for yourself here, even when you disagree with Bob or whomever. Maybe you think his decisions about blocking someone are wrong, and you can say so. Every time you feel that way, you can say so. AND you can continue to be here and give support and get support, and joke around, etc. Here we don't have to start at square one with somebody who knows nothing about depression or other dx, we can actually speak and be heard and often understood.
Being able to say frankly what we think is about as good as it gets in life, IMO. I certainly can't do it except in very few relationships I have. Expressing how we feel, what we believe, and who we are is not often safe, but it is safe here. What is the worst that can happen? You can be blocked, or get a PBC, but that's about as bad as it gets. In the meantime, you can be reaping the benefits of being with people who understand much about you in a way not many others can. AND you get to be accepting and understanding of others in that same way...something that I feel good about doing when I can.
The exodus only hurts us individuals. It doesn't effect change, and we miss out on having you here.
Well, like I said, I sure wish you wouldn't leave. Your feelings and opinions about how the board is run have been noted and paid attention to. You've been heard, by many of us. What more do we get in life but to be heard? For something that isn't under our direct control, that's about all we can expect (and do not often get even that much). Is there nothing here for you?
Shar
poster:shar
thread:5947
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020627/msgs/5999.html