Posted by wendy b. on April 10, 2002, at 12:51:18
In reply to A little latitude? Dr. Bob, posted by tinaboo on April 10, 2002, at 8:10:38
Dear Tina and others:
I have to agree with Dr Bob here, and respect your opinion while doing so. So please don't misunderstand me, ok?
The Board works on general rules sometimes derived from group-therapy models of fair-play and civility. In this case, we have to have a safe place in which - on which - to post messages. If I don't feel the environment is being kept safe for me, I won't post, because I'll be afraid that my vulnerabilities and shortcomings will be violated. That I'll get blasted, or worse, by someone else who doesn't follow the rules the way I'm trying to. If I follow the rules, and someone else doesn't, and it's allowed, that's not fair to me, right? These types of rules apply to playgrounds, classrooms, and communities everywhere.
** (An aside: The administrators of these communities get criticized, for just or unjust reasons, but they're still doing all the work! Sort of like being a janitor, or a housewife/husband. They're hanging out all day doing all the clean-up and dirty-work, and then get upbraided by the boss or spouse when he/she gets home:
"What have you been DOING all day??") *End of aside*Personally, I find in my own weekly group therapy, that when our group leader (therapist) defines boundaries, I appreciate it much more than if things are loose. In times of high levels of grief and hurt and loss, we have to be extra *careful*, not extra *lenient*. Otherwise, Bob would be abdicating his responsibility as the owner of the Board. Doctors and therapists have rules of ethics that they have pledged to uphold. I believe Dr Bob is maintaining those standards to the utmost of his ability. Like Mark H., I hope people will be sensitive to Bob's needs right now, too. Love is a two-way street, like the song says...
With utmost sincerity and respect for all the views expressed in this thread,
Wendy
> Dr. Bob. You know that people here have lost and are grieving. Grief causes all sorts of inappropriate behaviour but isn't it better to be able to discuss how you feel and let it out rather than be blocked when you need community the most?
> I think allowing a little latitude may help in the grieving process.
>
> respectfully
> tina
poster:wendy b.
thread:4044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020308/msgs/4076.html