Posted by Racer on April 19, 2005, at 16:47:45
I have this need to whine to someone who would understand and not hold it against me, you know? So, sorry that y'all get to be the victims of it...
I'm depressed.
There are, of course, a lot of things going on to bring it back up, some of which are within my control, so I get the added benefit of being able to beat up on myself about them. I'm medicated, and have an appointment with Dr CattleProd this week, so I can talk to him a bit about it, but I'm at that place where a big part of me is saying, "NO! I'm sick of futzing around with meds!" Plus, I am very much afraid that he will want to raise the Cymbalta back up to 60mg, and I don't want that. That was too sedating for me. But, since he's the one who diagnosed me with Anxiety Disorder NOS, I doubt he will want to raise the Wellbutrin, which I maybe would be more comfortable with. Oh, yeah, and I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping, too, which would probably also be a "not gonna raise your Wellbutrin" point.
{{sigh}}
Some days, it just seems like too much trouble.
But the other side of the problem, which maybe is the worst part for me, is that I've gained 35 pounds since November, am about the size of a beached whale, and HATE IT! Since gaining this weight, all the things that were OK before are NOT OK now. My self-esteem is through the floor -- and through the basement floor into the sub-basement -- which is certainly leaving me even more depressed. I can't stand this.
Ugh.
So, I've whined. Anyone else wanna join in? We can be like a group of dogs whining and howling into the night...
poster:Racer
thread:486539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20041213/msgs/486539.html