Posted by finelinebob on May 8, 2004, at 1:44:40
In reply to The Prodigal Bob returns...., posted by finelinebob on May 8, 2004, at 0:45:49
HEY!!! I'm in! Yo to Racer, Phil and everyone else as well. Pardon me if I don't remember all y'all ... I think I read somewhere recently that klonopin can wipe your memory or something ... at least, that's MY excuse ;^)
Noa, I have to apologize. From April to December of last year, I was living in Leesburg, VA, just west of Dulles. I shoulda called, but I didn't.
What have I been up to? Let me start back when it matters, since I don't know when I last filled you in.
On September 11th, I was in the subway beneath the WTC when the second plane hit. I got out onto the street a few blocks away .. I used to work three blocks from the Trade Center. I took a bunch of pictures, started walking away looking for a place where I could get a cell phone connection, and saw the towers fall from about a mile away. I made a web page about my day, heard sirens in my head for days, lost my job from the economic fallout ten days later and haven't had a fulltime job since.
My web page made quite a splash, tho. Besides tons of visitors from all around the world: (1) my site was archived by the Library of Congress as part of the historic record, (2) the National Bureau of Standards used my photos in their investigation of how the fires caused the towers to collapse, and (3) the Smithsonian's American History Museum incorporated my site into their memorial exhibit about 9/11. If you haven't seen it: http://wtc.thefineline.org/
A month before, Leyna was born. A month after, I got to take her home. Spoiled b!tch ... well, she **is** a female dog. German Shepherd. Now 80 pounds, and a dx of GAD. Tries to crawl into my lap whenever she gets scared. She's had me as a stay-home daddy almost all of her life, tho, so I don't know what she'll do should I find gainful employment anytime soon! She's too precious for words, so I'll stop there.
Severe PTSD after 9/11, which led me to discover acupuncture. Wonderful stuff. As soon as I can afford it, I'm getting back into it. Other than that, I had enough support through part time work, disaster relief and unemployment to survive NYC until last April, when my lease ran out.
Moved to VA to live with a brother and look for web work in DC. Almost landed a job with the Post -- being 3rd out of 100+ applications was worth a warm fuzzy feeling, but that was all. Otherwise, not much work in my field without a security clearance. Of course, you can't get one on your own ... you have to work for a company that can sponsor you. But then again, companies in that position don't want you unless you already have one. Catch-22.
Had to move out in December, so now I'm back "home" in Michigan, living in my parents' basement. No work whatsoever since November of 2002, no more unemployment since September 03, no money for meds ... I've been enjoying a rather thorough meltdown since I arrived in Michigan.
I should be miserable, but I'm not. =^)
Leyna has a lot to do with that. SBC unlimited long distance and pro bono phone therapy with my T out in NYC does, too. The September 11th Fund paying for my meds and office visits ... so if you or anyone you know donated, thanks from someone still benefitting! Being off my meds for five months, after being on essentially the same cocktail for five years, was an eye-opener. Thankfully, the nortrip works as well, maybe better, than I recall. My pdoc here in MI hasn't even suggested starting on ritalin yet, but I'm still titrating up on the nortrip. As for the klonopin -- another "as needed" prescription. I had to ask him what that means, when I have physiological manifestations of my anxiety 24/7. He said use it for "anticipatory anxiety" for now and do my best to manage the rest without meds. Given how well klonopin works for me, even after 1mg/d for five years straight (can you say "habituation"? I sure as hell canNOT ;^). Getting back on meds definitely stopped the meltdown, tho.
Right before I did, tho, my T said something to me I was terrified of admitting myself. She said, "You must feel like your life is over." I'm 42, jobless and prospectless (I'm in MI, after all), and living in my parents' basement off their retirement funds. On September 10th, 2001 I had my life pulled together better than any other time in life. And I lost all of it. So its not like I wanted to kill myself -- it's just that my life was over.
What do you do when your life is over halfway through the game? (me, off meds)
That's easy -- start a new one! (me, on meds)So, I'm taking a real estate course. Community ed. Twice a week for five weeks, four hours per class, state mandated curriculum. Class of about 15 students. We just had our midterm and, naturally, I had the highest score in class. Come May 20th, I'll pass the final. I can take the state licensing exam on Friday the 21st. Get a broker to sponsor me and I could be selling homes by May 24th.
I figure if I'm going to start a new life, then I need to break with the past. No teaching, no web design or programming. (Yeah right, we'll see how good I stick to that!) But I did the numbers: if I can list one customer's $250k house and help them buy a similar house, I gross 6% of that $250k. If I pull off ONE of those deals every THREE MONTHS, I can make as much money as I ever have in any of my other salaried jobs.
Is that sick, or what?
I think I can work a little harder than that. If I can manage one deal like that per month, next spring I'll be debt-free with enough cash in the bank to head back to NYC, take a month to get my license there, and then start selling Manahattan real estate at their rather outrageous property values and exorbitant fees.
So, after 30 months of doom and gloom, I now appear to be the man with the plan!
well, that's the long and the short of it. good to be back.....
poster:finelinebob
thread:344644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040501/msgs/344653.html