Posted by Racer on February 25, 2004, at 16:11:08
In reply to Re: How's this for a game for you » Racer, posted by shar on February 25, 2004, at 14:41:20
That, my dear one, is exactly how to do it right! I have such empathy for the feelings you expressed -- I often feel as if I'm some sort of toxic waste poisoning my environment and everything in it. (I used to joke that I was a carrier for marriage: Every man I ever broke up with married soon afterwards, and would make sure to tell me how happy he was. Reinforcing my feeling that *I* was poisoning all my relationships with perfectly good men.)
Now for the much harder question, dear one: How do you feel after writing something so evocative? How do you feel about being able to read over your words? Did it help at all? Does it help to know that your feeling is shared? (You know that joke, "But enough about me, how do *you* feel about me?" That's what it feels like to me to ask that last question... Guess I'll have to take my act to the Catskills next...)
I find that putting these feelings into words, while it's kinda sorta part of what makes me sick, by trying to process in words what really isn't verbal, it helps me put a safety gate of sorts around the hard feelings, so that they're not so overwhelming. Instead of being deluged by the gaping, bottomless pit of need, I can see one part of it -- and then it looks do-able. I really hope that trying it out helped you in a similar way.
Take it for what it's worth, shar, but this crazy woman over here thinks you're worth every atom of oxygen you consume and more. Thank you for all you've done in the past, all the things I may have been too sick to acknowledge at the time, and all the things you continue to do for me, and for all of us. You are a blessing in my life.
poster:Racer
thread:317013
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040213/msgs/317617.html