Posted by Racer on November 8, 2002, at 12:40:35
In reply to Feeling hopeless, lonely and unwanted, posted by tina on October 31, 2002, at 13:47:28
Seriously, it sounds as if you're getting into that 'I'm not worthy of being cared about' stage. If that's so, you're wrong! For unconditional love, only a dog will do, but for reality checks: remind yourself of what you'd say to someone else in a similar situation.
1. EVERYONE is worthy of love. Not everyone gets it, that's true, but everyone who has ever lived on this planet is worthy of being loved.
2. Gotta love yourself before you can love and be loved by someone else. Hate to admit it, but it's true. No matter how awful you may know yourself to be, you still have to embrace that awfulness before you can expect someone else to embrace it. My old trainer used to make us put the bits in our own mouths, so that we'd know what we were asking our horses to do for us. It's pretty similar with loving ourselves. One last thought on this one for you: get some moisturizing lotion. After every bath or shower (and do stay clean -- hard to do, but worth the effort) rub that lotion into your arms and legs. Sounds stupid, but it really does help. It shows all parts of you, body and mind, that the body you live in is worthy of care. And it can help you learn to know your body better, too, and to know you is to love you, right?
3. To get love, you gotta give love! So, call a friend who's having trouble, and offer to take her to lunch. Take a bowl of soup to a friend who's sick. Offer to do laundry for a new mother. Call your best friend and ask if you can go on a picnic together. What would you like someone to do for you? Do it for someone else! Doesn't have to be elaborate, just calling and saying, "how are you feeling?"
4. Remember, the depression is not YOU, it's an enemy of YOU. Picture the depression as a monster, a demon that possesses you from time to time. Remember the Hobbit? Lord of the Rings? Think of it as a mythic Enemy who needs to be vanquished! You can be the fairy tale princess, only this time you get to hold the sword! Sounds so stupid you won't believe it can help, but it does help me. Maybe it can help you, too.
It takes energy to fight depression, and energy is sapped by the depression itself. That does make it easier to see the depression as the Monster from outside that we need to slay, but it also makes it easier to fall into it. (I'm sitting here at 10:30AM in my pajamas, for example) Every single thing you do to help get through the early stage will make it that much harder to slide down that slippery slope into Hell. It's worth it.
And there is help, too: come and post here, where at least everyone has their own demon to battle.
poster:Racer
thread:720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20020724/msgs/745.html