Posted by allisonm on August 7, 2002, at 22:36:16
In reply to Re: Another line or two....feel free to add more.., posted by shar on July 31, 2002, at 13:41:07
"Yesterday I was sitting on the low end of the teeter-totter at the playground on Elm Street, carefully picking large yellow
chunks of play-doh out of my hair. I was singing to myself when... along came a couple of Psycho Babblers looking for help...
(which they couldn't find on the admin board)...Hey you, yes you, chunk hair! You got any money or Xanax?
Terrified, I pulled a giant wad of yellow gunk out of my hair. Thank God! (faith board) Inside was a 100 count bottle of 2mg
Xanax.I quickly stashed the bottle of Xanax inside my coat pocket, hoping the psycho babblers had not noticed. When I looked to see what they were doing, they were comparing some of their meds...had about 35 bottles between them, ooh'ing and ah'ing over all the pretty colors.
Suddenly, one of the babblers...
... happened to comment on something said by Lou, then ......noticed that the statue of a horse was relieving himself. So, it came to pass that the rider wasn't the talker. The rider was riding
Mr. Ed.
So. many Babblers offered support, medication, and the like; but all offers were ignored. The Babblers decided to go on with
their lives, living in a world with a blue sky, until ...Jerry Garcia's ghost appeared from behind the peeing statue and, seeing that
the Babblers' hands were full of mind-altering drugs, said, "Hey man, I'm back from the Dead. Care to share some of that?"The blue sky suddenly turned to all varieties of tie-dye pattern and dancing bears dropped from the trees. They all decided
they were really hungry after their rescue attempt and went to Alice's Restaurant for a bite to eat. Once the Babblers and the
bears found a table (Jerry didn't need a chair 'cause he could float), the waitress stopped by with the menus. "Today's
specials," she said, "are........the BP II Steak and Egg Breakfast, the unipolar Black Bean taco, and the MPD Teriyaki Asparagus with Mole Sauce. Sides
include OCD French Fries/uniform length and width, and the Unknown Illness-that-Includes-all-those-Symptoms freshly
ground columbian coffee over i scream. And, this is the smoking section, so if you sit here you have to smoke."Well, one of the psycho babblers said 'having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming
pool.' Then, looked up to see the horse, riderless, stroll by."Oh! That reminds me," said ...
the doctor to the nurse. "That group there thinks they are out among the populace, in the real world, and call themselves
Babblers. Of course, they are psycho, too, or they wouldn't be in here."The nurse was impressed. This was by far the most realistic delusion she had ever witnessed people playing out. "But, Doctor,
what is it they are doing when they sit at the table and tap their fingers in front of them?""Oh," the doc said, "they think they are using a computer. There does not seem to be any harm in it so we don't try to
interfere. In fact, the agitation factor of that group is much lower than most of the people here, at least the ones who have been
here so long. I may get a research article out of this."Seeing the doctor and nurse, one of the Babblers said to the group, "who the heck is that and what...
...are they doing in OUR delusion? Just who do they think they are -- mental health professionals? Fie, I say, fie on you! And while you're at it, waitress, get me some tapioca pudding with whipped cream and Neurontin sprinkles on top!!"
"Please be civil," said a kind and benevolent if occasionally misunderstood Babbler named Phil, "they're only trying to do their jobs, poor bast-.... um.... poor dears.... Please be civil, or you'll have to be blocked."Meantime, I had decided to stay out of the administrative quicksand pit and content myself by continuing to pull the yellow chunks out of my now very thin hair, and try to scrape the rest off the collar of my coat before anyone else in the restaurant noticed -- especially the horse.
But lo and behold, just as those very words were coming out of Phil's mouth, the door to the restaurant opened and in came...
poster:allisonm
thread:486
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20020724/msgs/583.html