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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 21:13:45
Hi everyone,
I've recently discovered that any references to hurting myself will not be met well. I used to think it was only if I threatened out right.
But I now see that even just mentioning wanting to OD is upsetting to people. I'm going to promise everyone I will try my very hardest not to post material that suggests I am going to hurt myself, or material that suggests I want to die.
When I feel those things, I will try to suppress my feelings and thoughts. I will try to self soothe and I promise if I am in any actual danger I won't post it, instead I will seek help in real life.
This is a huge step for me. I hope I can do it. I hope you can forgive me if I slip up. I know I still have a lot to work on.
Posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 22:47:21
In reply to Going to try my hardest not to post suicidal posts, posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 21:13:45
Can someone tell me it's going to be OK?
Posted by alexandra_k on June 17, 2009, at 0:03:09
In reply to I feel very alone, posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 22:47:21
So do I.
Its going to be okay.
Okay for you.
Okay for me.
Perhaps it is some consolation that we both feel alone.I'm going to try and do some work.
Read some stuff.
It is kind of interesting if I can get into it.
I think I can.
It will help me feel better to get into it.
Forget my distress for a while.Is there something that you can do?
To help you feel less alone.
To help you feel interested or curious or stimulated?
I got a coloring in book of the brain:http://www.amazon.com/Human-Brain-Coloring-Book-Cos/dp/0064603067
Sometimes when I feel badly I color in.
Sometimes I get upset because the temporal lobe is supposed to be GREEN and I messed up cause i ran out of colors
But I guess I can try and erase the color and start over.
Something I can do to help me feel better anyway.
Can you rent a movie or something?(((Deneb)))
Posted by alexandra_k on June 17, 2009, at 0:10:36
In reply to Re: I feel very alone, posted by alexandra_k on June 17, 2009, at 0:03:09
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Biology-Colouring-HarperCollins-Coloring-Childrens/dp/0064603075
there isn't an organic chemistry one though
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 0:11:03
In reply to Re: I feel very alone, posted by alexandra_k on June 17, 2009, at 0:03:09
Thanks Alex. I will be OK. Sorry you feel alone too. I just took a propranolol and extra Risperdal and I'm trying to distract myself in PC's chat.
Posted by alexandra_k on June 17, 2009, at 0:12:14
In reply to Re: I feel very alone » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 0:11:03
Hang in there.
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 0:33:41
In reply to Re: I feel very alone, posted by alexandra_k on June 17, 2009, at 0:12:14
I feel better now. Your reply and the meds are helping a lot. I hope your reading material is very interesting and will distract you from your distress.
((((((((((Alex))))))))))
Posted by BayLeaf on June 17, 2009, at 6:15:33
In reply to Re: I feel very alone » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 0:33:41
I'd suggest working on figuring out ways to make yourelf feel better without using meds. See IF it's possible. Try at least 10 things first, then if you don't feel better, use whatever meds your doc has prescribed, taken as prescribed as a PRN.
But do the 10 things first - like Alex colors. Make your list of 10 things that are feasible to do in moments of sadness/stress/upset and use it.
You may find that after doing the fist few things, you won't need the meds at all.
Take care.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on June 17, 2009, at 6:58:11
In reply to I feel very alone, posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 22:47:21
deneb,
you know, i've read your posts over years. Some, for a while I was out.
--It is funny, when emotions, alot of stuff boils, or emotions, i lay in the bed and block it. Self-soothe...that's the better way to say it, thank you!
There more stuff, i could post, to help, yet it's to complicated to think right now.
You have hung here....for a long time. That show's survival, and intelligence about caring for yourself. Your amazing.
hug
rj
Posted by Dinah on June 17, 2009, at 9:04:05
In reply to I feel very alone, posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 22:47:21
It *is* going to be ok.
I've asked my therapist to teach me how to say that the way he does. :)
Is it possible that you feel very alone because of the change in your days? You've been used to going to work every day and being around people, and now you aren't. Are there any summer jobs where you are, if you don't wish to work during school? I know the economy's bad right now everywhere.
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 10:19:24
In reply to Re: I feel very alone » Deneb, posted by BayLeaf on June 17, 2009, at 6:15:33
> I'd suggest working on figuring out ways to make yourelf feel better without using meds. See IF it's possible. Try at least 10 things first, then if you don't feel better, use whatever meds your doc has prescribed, taken as prescribed as a PRN.
That's a good idea. I doubt I can rely on meds my whole life. I need to learn ways to cope without meds.
10 things, hmmm...lets see
1. Take a long walk
2. Chat on Babble or PC
3. Clean my room
4. Watch TVHmmm...I can only come up with 4, any other ideas?
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 10:20:48
In reply to Re: I feel very alone, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on June 17, 2009, at 6:58:11
Thanks for your support rj
(((((((((((((((((rj))))))))))))))))))
Posted by Dinah on June 17, 2009, at 10:25:29
In reply to Re: I feel very alone » BayLeaf, posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 10:19:24
I'm planning on relying on meds my whole life. I don't really have a problem with that.
But I have ways I calm down too.
I fall asleep. That works well.
I play endless games of bubbles on my cell phone. My new one has a trackball, and I can't see enjoying Bubbles with that, so I'll keep my old one as a game player.
Baths.
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 10:25:58
In reply to Re: I feel very alone » Deneb, posted by Dinah on June 17, 2009, at 9:04:05
I think I feel alone in my struggles. It seems like some people don't understand what it's like for me.
Pdoc is encouraging me to find a summer job. She says I need the experience of looking for a job, for when I finally get my degree and have to look for a job. She says I need to practice going to interviews and getting rejected.
Right now I am walking everyday. Yesterday I walked 10 km. I like walking. It makes me feel better.
Posted by Phillipa on June 17, 2009, at 12:25:43
In reply to Re: I feel very alone » Dinah, posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 10:25:58
Deneb walking is good it's the bike for me. I'm not sure I agree with looking for jobs to pratice getting rejected. That doesn't sound healthy to me if your're not doing that well. That's an unprofessional opinion of course. Phillipa
Posted by Sigismund on June 17, 2009, at 15:34:25
In reply to Going to try my hardest not to post suicidal posts, posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 21:13:45
Posted by yellowbird01 on June 17, 2009, at 18:09:17
In reply to Re: I feel very alone » Dinah, posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 10:25:58
Deneb, your question about what else you can add to your list of things to help you in the moment reminded me of some things I'd seen when I was in a DBT group a few years ago in my area. I looked them up and here are the links.. check them out as I think they have some good ideas!
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 19:38:00
In reply to Going to try my hardest not to post suicidal posts, posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 21:13:45
Doesn't anyone think this is a good thing? It took a lot of courage for me to write that post and I am needing some positive support for this.
It has been a coping mechanism of sorts for me, abet a very bad one. I'm very serious about trying my best.
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 19:57:02
In reply to Re: I feel very alone, posted by yellowbird01 on June 17, 2009, at 18:09:17
Thanks yellowbird, those are really helpful.
Posted by Sigismund on June 17, 2009, at 20:07:25
In reply to Going to try my hardest not to post suicidal posts, posted by Deneb on June 16, 2009, at 21:13:45
There wouldn't have been too many days in the last 30 years where wanting to die was something far from my mind. There's no big problem with that, except having to put up with it. And there is nothing wrong with talking about how awful you feel in a general sense. What is not so good is when you kind of expect or hope that anyone will be able to do much about it, and stop it now. Is it from a Walt Whiman poem? 'I contain multitudes', a bit like 'In my Father's house there are many mansions'. There's no such thing as normal...that's my take anyway.
Posted by SLS on June 17, 2009, at 20:12:02
In reply to Re: I feel very alone » yellowbird01, posted by Deneb on June 17, 2009, at 19:57:02
I came searching for you special to be able to tell you something and found you here. I was reading the Administration board when it occurred to me just how intelligent you are and how quickly you learn. I don't know how else to say these things without being patronizing. You truly impress me. I hope you are not offended.
- Scott
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