![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 44. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 2:43:05
It has been a rough day for me and I think I've been suppressing my emotions.
I am upset. I guess I am still emotionally unstable. I feel hopeless. I have improved a lot, but it is not enough. I'm not sure I will ever be well enough. Why try then? For the first time in months I feel like giving up again.I don't think the feeling will last, I hope not.
Life is so hard. I'm a failure. I'm emotionally unstable for life. I will never get better. :( Garnet is right, I am not ready for dating. I don't think I can ever be in a real relationship. My Mom will never see me lead a successful life.
I wish I could die temporarily. I want to hide from the world. I'm not fit enough to survive.
I think I'm going to call in sick tomorrow and cry all day.
Posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 8:42:49
In reply to Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 2:43:05
There's a lot going on with you right now. Your job is ending in days. You finally found a guy you wanted to date, and he didn't reciprocate your feelings.
And yes, I do think it's possible that you're suppressing your feelings about those things. It's a fine line to tread between being mature and responsible and expressing feelings. My therapist says that I tend to turn my anger against myself. Maybe you do too.
It's ok to feel hurt and angry. It's ok to express that, maybe not to the person (or employment situation) that causes the hurt or anger since that might not do any good and may just cause you more distress. But with a therapist or a friend.
It sounds as if everything in your post is anger and despair aimed at yourself.
I still have times when I'm afraid it will never be better. Times when it's too scary to contemplate going forward. I think last night may have been one of those times. Didn't I say something to that effect?
But feelings are like a wave. They come and they go, and sometimes you just need to grab hold and ride them out.
What do you see as a successful life? Is it the same as what your mother would see?
Posted by Phillipa on June 8, 2009, at 11:06:10
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable » Deneb, posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 8:42:49
Deneb how do you feel today? Better? Love Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 11:08:31
In reply to Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 2:43:05
Are you opposed to meeting the son of your parents' friends? It wouldn't mean a commitment would it?
But if you're looking for someone who has a similar background to your own, who better than someone from your parents' circle of friends? If you find you don't suit, you don't have to marry him.
Posted by garnet71 on June 8, 2009, at 13:28:03
In reply to Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 2:43:05
Deneb~
It seemed like you needed to be "woken up", but I realize that was the wrong approach!!
I never realized how triggered I am (till now) by what I perceived to be others' enabling/ encouraging what I saw as unhealthy and potentially very harmful to you...Spent many years growing up observing others enable very harmful behavior that put me and others in danger. I am sorry my own issues somehow got entangled into yours! It happens.
But if something a stranger says on a message forum effects you that much-imagine if one of your dates, someone you really like, says something down the road? And since you have made so much progress, I thought it might set you back. You know yourself best, so anything I said could be totally wrong-it was only an opinion--think of that.
I'm not going to talk about this anymore; I just wanted to say I am sorry if what i said has caused you to be upset. I only intended to get you thinking about it more seriously. :(
Bright and sunny days are just ahead...Take care!!!
Posted by Sigismund on June 8, 2009, at 15:05:54
In reply to Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 2:43:05
>Life is so hard. I'm a failure.
In an effort to keep myself out of the tabloid cum DSM mindspace I read an hour of history a day and have for ever. This really helps to keep my values in perspecive. This world is not full of normal people out of which you are an exception. That's what I think anyway.
But you are not wrong about life being hard.
Posted by gobbledygook on June 8, 2009, at 15:43:34
In reply to Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 2:43:05
Deneb,
I don't know anyone who isn't somewhat "emotionally unstable" - at least sometimes or maybe
even all the time. Even the most "successful" , "together", and "attractive" people I've met are
"messed up" when you really get to know them...they just hide it well.I feel exactly as you do. Scared and hopeless; wanting to hide from the big bad world. Most
people who meet me think I have a perfect life - that I have it all together. But, inside, I'm just
a lost little girl...struggling to find her way out. My life is a continuous cycle of falling and getting
up - only to fall again. Life is very hard for me, too.The difference between you and I though is you haven't become jaded and hardened like myself.
You're still open and honest...which makes you vulnerable to hurt, but you are "REAL", and you're
trying your best to make a good life for yourself. You're going through a lot now, but it will pass.
It always does.
To answer your above thread - "What are 3 adjectives to describe me?"1) Real...................because you're open and honest.
2) Kind..................you're a good friend to me in the chat room....gentle and kind.
3) Funny................you often make me laugh with your "special" sense of humor.
I'd like to add one more:
4) Pretty................I've seen your pictures and you are an attractive woman with a sweet smile.
((Deneb)).
Ava
Posted by Angela2 on June 8, 2009, at 18:28:42
In reply to Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 2:43:05
Deneb, I don't see anything out of the ordinary in this post (I mean it doesn't seem like you're unstable, just down on yourself). I wish I were a lot of things I'm not. I have to remind myself that just being me is OK. There is only one person in the entire world like you. Unique to the core :D
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 19:07:40
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable, posted by Angela2 on June 8, 2009, at 18:28:42
I stayed home from work today because I was feeling really sad and couldn't stop crying. Anyways, stupid me, I actually told my Mom I was feeling sad and that's why I didn't go to work. She says I am lazy and crazy. She told me about this 40 year old woman at the mall who cries whenever her mother is away. She said she was crazy and compared me to her.
I should have just said I got a bad stomachache. That is more acceptable.
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 20:05:24
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable » Deneb, posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 11:08:31
I don't feel well.
I think I'm going to cancel all my dates, hide my profile and sleep all day. I want to disappear. I hope I die in my sleep. I don't want to try anymore.
I'm sad.
Posted by BirdSong on June 8, 2009, at 20:35:04
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 20:05:24
Deneb,
I am new here, but over the past couple of months I have seen posts from you ranging from your dating and feelings of rejection to threatening to commit suicide (including one off the bridge in SF which scared the crap out of me as a new member).
Are you in weekly or bi-weekly therapy with a therapist who is trained in DBT?
Many people have problems. That is why many people come to psychobabble.
But what is important is (1) an awareness of the issues and (2) finding the right therapy and therapist to help.Your rejection/punishment behaviors can be helped with DBT which is a scientifically proven therapy for people who have borderline personality disorder or borderline tendencies. It really works and helps you learn to break the cycle.
Many people with borderline or borderline tendencies have a very difficult time in relationships if they have not had proper therapy. If they are not pushing people away or scaring people away, they are smothering them.
I suggest you read the books "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" and "Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder"I don't know you. I am simply responding to what I have seen posted recently. But the responses you have are very characteristic and can be helped.
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 20:53:38
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable, posted by BirdSong on June 8, 2009, at 20:35:04
> Deneb,
>
> I am new here, but over the past couple of months I have seen posts from you ranging from your dating and feelings of rejection to threatening to commit suicide (including one off the bridge in SF which scared the crap out of me as a new member).I don't think I ever threatened to. I wrote that I was worried about it, but sorry if it scared you.
>
> Are you in weekly or bi-weekly therapy with a therapist who is trained in DBT?I see my pdoc for therapy weekly. I don't know if she is trained in DBT, but she knows about it. She said she has seen Marsha Linehan give talks. I really don't know what kind of therapy pdoc gives. Well, there are the meds, but she is more of a therapy person. I think it has helped. Change is slow though. You should see how bad I was a few years ago.
>
> Many people have problems. That is why many people come to psychobabble.
> But what is important is (1) an awareness of the issues and (2) finding the right therapy and therapist to help.
>
> Your rejection/punishment behaviors can be helped with DBT which is a scientifically proven therapy for people who have borderline personality disorder or borderline tendencies. It really works and helps you learn to break the cycle.
>
> Many people with borderline or borderline tendencies have a very difficult time in relationships if they have not had proper therapy. If they are not pushing people away or scaring people away, they are smothering them.
> I suggest you read the books "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" and "Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder"I've heard about that book. I actually have Marsha Linehan's Skills Training Manual. I have to read it. I will have a lot of time with no work before school. Maybe I should work on it.
>
> I don't know you. I am simply responding to what I have seen posted recently. But the responses you have are very characteristic and can be helped.Thanks for the suggestions.
>
>
>
Posted by gobbledygook on June 8, 2009, at 21:07:49
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 20:05:24
> I don't feel well.
>
> I think I'm going to cancel all my dates, hide my profile and sleep all day. I want to disappear. I hope I die in my sleep. I don't want to try anymore.
>
> I'm sad.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------Deneb,
When do you see your pdoc, again? Are you able to call your pdoc just to talk?
Ava
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:18:02
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 20:53:38
I want to practice the act of ODing, but it is stupid so I probably won't do it. I wanted to just take a bunch of pills but not die so I thought of taking a bunch of lactase pills. I am pretty sure it is impossible to OD on them. They have expired though and smell funky so I probably won't take them.
Maybe I will figure out how much propranolol I can take without harming myself. :/
Can also always take a bunch of Prozac, that is pretty safe.
I probably won't though. It is just wasting money. I feel like escaping. I don't want to get sick though. I think I would like to play Russian roulette. It is probably a good idea I don't have a gun. :/
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:21:27
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable, posted by gobbledygook on June 8, 2009, at 21:07:49
No, pdoc doesn't talk over the phone. I am pretty sure. There is no one to talk to but Babblers.
Posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 21:25:28
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable *trigger*, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:18:02
Again, if you think you're a danger to yourself, please go to the hospital.
What would you like from others right now? I think you've discovered in the past that the message people receive is not necessarily the message you want to send. And that there are more effective ways of asking for what it is that you need right now, so that you're more likely to get it.
Why do you think you're feeling so upset? What would help you feel better? What response would you like to get from which people around you?
Maybe we can problemsolve the best way to get what you need right now?
Maybe you could talk to your pdoc about meds you can safely take before you get to this point. It's been building for at least a day now. Breaking the cycle earlier would probably be safer for you?
Posted by gobbledygook on June 8, 2009, at 21:26:48
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable » gobbledygook, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:21:27
> No, pdoc doesn't talk over the phone. I am pretty sure. There is no one to talk to but Babblers.
------------------------------------------------
when is your next appointment, deneb?
Ava
Posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 21:26:59
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable » gobbledygook, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:21:27
Does "I am sure" mean you've never asked?
My therapist always says that if I ask for something, the answer may be no. But if I don't ask for something, the answer is always effectively no, because no one will know what it is I need.
Have you asked your therapist?
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:32:58
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 21:25:28
I'm not too sure what I want. It is nice to be heard. I just feel hopeless about my situation and life.
Maybe I want to feel cared for.
Posted by gobbledygook on June 8, 2009, at 21:33:19
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable » gobbledygook, posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:21:27
I didn't see Dinah's post and cross posted...
Looks like Dinah has some suggestions for you.
I'll check the chat room later, if you need to just talk. Take care.
Ava
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:39:02
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable » Deneb, posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 21:26:59
I've never asked pdoc. I have asked her what to do in the past when I get upset and she tells me to talk myself out of it. I think she thinks the power to fix myself is in my hands only.
I am pretty sure she would not like me going to the hospital for minor ODs. That may reinforce them. She has cut session short when I told her I took more than the recommended dose before session. I am also pretty sure pdoc doesn't believe meds are the answer. I don't think she will give me any meds to take for when I am upset. Talking myself out of it is the best way to deal.
Posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:42:09
In reply to ....deneb... » Deneb, posted by gobbledygook on June 8, 2009, at 21:26:48
> > No, pdoc doesn't talk over the phone. I am pretty sure. There is no one to talk to but Babblers.
>
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> when is your next appointment, deneb?
>
> AvaWeds.
Posted by gobbledygook on June 8, 2009, at 21:52:54
In reply to Re: Emotionally unstable » Deneb, posted by Dinah on June 8, 2009, at 21:26:59
Deneb,
I thought Dinah was here. If she's not...I can chat w/ you if you want to talk.
Ava
Posted by Cass on June 9, 2009, at 1:16:05
In reply to Re: ....deneb..., posted by Deneb on June 8, 2009, at 21:42:09
deneb,
It sounds to me like you should go to the hospital. You're talking about overdosing not to kill yourself, but the overdose could do a lot of damage to your internal organs. The damage could make you ill for life. And who's to say that the overdose won't accidentally kill you? What your talking about doing is very dangerous.
Can you go to the hospital?
Posted by Deneb on June 9, 2009, at 2:07:30
In reply to Re: ....deneb... » Deneb, posted by Cass on June 9, 2009, at 1:16:05
> deneb,
> It sounds to me like you should go to the hospital. You're talking about overdosing not to kill yourself, but the overdose could do a lot of damage to your internal organs. The damage could make you ill for life. And who's to say that the overdose won't accidentally kill you? What your talking about doing is very dangerous.
> Can you go to the hospital?I'm OK now. I had a chat with people here and it helped a lot. I don't feel as hopeless now.
I'm not going to OD.
I will be OK. Tomorrow is my last day of work. I hope I can go to work. I hope I will be OK after I am out of a job.
I think I will be OK. I'm canceling all my dates. I feel too fragile.
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.