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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llrrrpp on July 10, 2006, at 17:14:52
okay the vacation was all ducky so far, but I can feel the depression seeping back in. my typing is pretty slow. I don't wanna be around anyone (gee I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I'm in my childhood home with mom, dad and the siblings?) and i just wanna go away. poof. don't talk to me. don't ask me if i'm having a good time. don't look at me and wonder why my hand is trembling and why i sleep 11 hours a day. don't ask me why i havn't brushed my hair or put concealer on my zits. just leave me alone for a while, okay?
-ll
Posted by Deneb on July 10, 2006, at 17:44:08
In reply to had enough of being social, posted by llrrrpp on July 10, 2006, at 17:14:52
(((((((((((((((llrrrpp)))))))))))))))))
Sorry you're feeling down again.
Deneb*
Posted by wishingstar on July 10, 2006, at 18:44:10
In reply to had enough of being social, posted by llrrrpp on July 10, 2006, at 17:14:52
I can really relate.. I'm also at parents home with my parents and brother for the next several weeks. I've also watched that familiar rain cloud move in and settle right over me during these last few weeks. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. You're not alone. Hang in there.
Posted by Jost on July 10, 2006, at 20:03:37
In reply to Re: had enough of being social » llrrrpp, posted by wishingstar on July 10, 2006, at 18:44:10
Sorry you're at your parents' home. It's hard to be in a place with bad memories and where you can be drawn into old ways of being.
How long will you be there? Can you get out and spend time with people who know you and care in a way that feels good?
Stay in touch,
Jost
Posted by llrrrpp on July 10, 2006, at 20:44:47
In reply to Re: had enough of being social--llrrrpp, posted by Jost on July 10, 2006, at 20:03:37
> Sorry you're at your parents' home. It's hard to be in a place with bad memories and where you can be drawn into old ways of being.
>
> How long will you be there? Can you get out and spend time with people who know you and care in a way that feels good?
>
> Stay in touch,
>
> Jost
Thanks Jost,
I'll be here for another 72 hours. I just got back from spending 72 hours in cabin with the family. so that's 6 days. then I'm off. I like them all. my dad is incredibly frustrating. my husband is being extra sweet to me. and there is abundance of icecream. i'm just echchch. it's just the dynamic. The yelling, the stupid conflicts, the sibling rivalry. the babies screaming in the middle of the night.
-ll
Posted by curtm on July 11, 2006, at 11:40:56
In reply to Re: had enough of being social--llrrrpp » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on July 10, 2006, at 20:44:47
I'm sorry you feel bad, too. In a way I want to believe this is good for you. What do I know?
Curt
P.S. I sent you mail before I read your "leave me alone" message. So that doesn't violate, does it?
Posted by Phillipa on July 11, 2006, at 12:23:29
In reply to Re: had enough of being social--llrrrpp » Jost, posted by curtm on July 11, 2006, at 11:40:56
So that's what my kids feel like when they're around me? Love Phillipa
Posted by llrrrpp on July 11, 2006, at 17:20:55
In reply to Re: had enough of being social--llrrrpp, posted by Phillipa on July 11, 2006, at 12:23:29
oh crap,
my dad just told me that my mom thinks that I'm being aloof and cold and closed. I told him I had a rough spring, being depressed and all. I started crying. Now I'm going to go tell mom. poor mom. her baby girl is mentally ill.(((mom)))
maybe she'll hug me. Maybe I'll let her. my dad handled it well enough. he can be okay sometimes, even if he's a crotchety old crank.
Posted by curmudgeon on July 11, 2006, at 17:34:22
In reply to now they're calling me aloof, posted by llrrrpp on July 11, 2006, at 17:20:55
Posted by over 55 on July 12, 2006, at 13:08:58
In reply to Re: had enough of being social--llrrrpp, posted by Phillipa on July 11, 2006, at 12:23:29
> So that's what my kids feel like when they're around me? Love Phillipa
Light bulb moment...that's exactly what I was thinking. My grown daughter has chosen to not have a relationship with me and I wonder why? I was depressed most of her growing up days, but managed to put on a pretty good show as far as providing physically for my kids. Emoltionally? Not so good. terrible rages that left disaster in the wake and praying they would not remember did not work. They remember; and my daughter the most.
The last time we talked (2 years ago) she said it takes her 3-4 days to "recover" from being around me and that she turns into a 12 year old again when we are together. I tend to focus on the "pain" I feel of not being part of her life and the three grandchildren. But today I am reminded of the pain I have caused and the pain she feels from being around me. She probably, correctly, has gotten the toxic mom out of her life. I needed this reminder.
Posted by llrrrpp on July 12, 2006, at 15:28:46
In reply to Re: had enough of being social--llrrrpp, posted by over 55 on July 12, 2006, at 13:08:58
I can't speak for your kids, but I like my mom and dad just fine. They are nice, smart and they love me. They even tell me so. It's just that in combination they have this pattern of interaction that stresses me out terribly. they interrogate each other, and ignore each other. they nag, they whine. it's awful.
-ll
This is the end of the thread.
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