![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
I just need.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=328047&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1
Lar
Posted by Dinah on May 31, 2006, at 12:24:57
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
(((((Lar)))))
I wish I could do more.
Posted by crazy teresa on May 31, 2006, at 13:38:56
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
I'm sorry.
Posted by NikkiT2 on May 31, 2006, at 14:17:54
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
Oh Larry.. I'm so sorry. i wish there were something I could do.
Know my thoughts are with you all thuigh..Nikki xx
Posted by curtm on May 31, 2006, at 15:40:51
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
That bites Lar- I'm sorry
Posted by honeybee on May 31, 2006, at 16:35:00
In reply to Re: need, posted by curtm on May 31, 2006, at 15:40:51
Larry,
I wish the aggregate gratitude and concern and care of PB were enough to make this all go away.
So sorry.
hb
Posted by Bobby on May 31, 2006, at 19:32:33
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
I'm sorry Larry ---It's got to be tough.
Posted by ClearSkies on May 31, 2006, at 19:38:01
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
Oh, Lar - I'm sorry that you're going through this.
I'm sending you strong and caring thoughts.
CS
Posted by pseudoname on May 31, 2006, at 19:49:38
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
> I just need.
I'm very sorry, Larry. That's such a hard situation. I wish I could do more.
I'm glad you have online support, for what it can help.
Posted by Deneb on May 31, 2006, at 20:39:36
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
Sorry things aren't going well. Wish there was a magic wand to make things better.
Deneb*
Posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2006, at 21:39:51
In reply to Re: need » Larry Hoover, posted by Deneb on May 31, 2006, at 20:39:36
Oh Lar how can we help you? You do so much to help us. Somehow I'm sorry isn't enough. Love Phillipa
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2006, at 4:34:47
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
Need is less now, thanks. Being noticed. That's what helps needs, when the need itself cannot literally be helped with.
Needed sleep, but that didn't work. Must need typing. I am typing.
Lar
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on June 1, 2006, at 12:04:29
In reply to Re: need, posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2006, at 4:34:47
hey there Lar,
Yeah, my father is in massive debt too - mainly due to a perchant for foreign women. He's on wife number 4 now (plus countless girlfriends), a Russian lady who still lives in St Petersburg, probably because she's worked out that he's relatively broke. His previous wife, a South Korean woman, left him tangled up with dodgy investments in S Korea, and things he won't fully go into.
What really really really hurts is that even through he's a captain in the merchant navy (and hence has earnt a considerable salary in his time) I have seen absolutely nothing of it, zero. We'll go out for a meal and he claims that he's too broke to pay for it - yet new wifey will have new outfits, cell phone, jewerly etc etc. and if she wanted to go to a fancy resaurant, they'd simply go!
I obviously wouldn't even mind if he were *properly* broke, but no, shiney new things for new wifey take priority over his only daughters welfare(in my childhood), which he could easily have afforded if he wanted to, plus I only ever saw him maybe once for an afternoon every three years. He had plenty of access to me- he simply chose not to see me - too preoccupied with new wifey/girlfriends. Which really hurts. It would have been easier for me if he'd died. All I ever wanted was for him to be a regular dad.
The sad thing is that the new wives will always disappear and it'll be me at his hospital bed when he gets ill.
Oh well. Sorry to hijack!
Anyway, Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2006, at 12:38:45
In reply to Re: need, posted by Meri-Tuuli on June 1, 2006, at 12:04:29
> hey there Lar,
> Oh well. Sorry to hijack!
>
> Anyway, Kind regards
>
> MeriNeed is not mine alone. I'm sorry you share in it.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2006, at 12:39:34
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
need babblebreak
Love,
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2006, at 20:49:07
In reply to Re: need, posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2006, at 12:39:34
> need babblebreak
>
> Love,
>
> LarAmazing, what a nap can do.
:-)
Lar
Posted by Kath on June 1, 2006, at 21:10:15
In reply to need, posted by Larry Hoover on May 31, 2006, at 12:22:44
Larry - so sorry.
It especially is too bad that the timing of your sister's trip is now!
Please know I'm thinking of you, as so many others are. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
Kath
Posted by TexasChic on June 3, 2006, at 19:13:32
In reply to Re: need, posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2006, at 20:49:07
I'm sure you've given the details in the past, but I must have missed them. Do your parents live in the same town as you? And when you said the nurse said he didn't take all his pills, does that mean they have someone come by periodically, or are they in some type of monitored environment?
I was my Grandmother's caregiver for several years (she passed away last June). I know the mental exhaustion you speak of. Its sort of like having a kid, you can never 'not' think about them. When I started therapy my T said I was suffering from caregiver burn out. I didn't even know it. Being a caregiver usually just falls on your shoulders, so you just do what you have to. And when you 'have to', you can do ALOT. But you can't exist in that mode indefinitely. It will eventually catch up with you. I guess the main thing I learned was to get help before it does.
I'm interested to know the details of your situation. I don't know if I could be of any help, but I could at least
commiserate.(((((Lar)))))
-T
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 5, 2006, at 14:10:46
In reply to Re: need » Larry Hoover, posted by TexasChic on June 3, 2006, at 19:13:32
> I'm sure you've given the details in the past, but I must have missed them. Do your parents live in the same town as you? And when you said the nurse said he didn't take all his pills, does that mean they have someone come by periodically, or are they in some type of monitored environment?
My dad lives alone, in subsidized housing. He has been a drunk for at least the last 63 of his 76 years. A grumpy old man. He must live alone, as long as that is possible. He would not be a good candidate for a nursing home. It's best that we keep him in his own little space, as long as we can.
We got it set up so a nurse comes in once a week. She lays out his meds in one of those organizer thingies, with the little cubbyholes. She'll draw blood, or check his blood sugar, or whatever. Assess his state of mind. Report back to his doctor (same family doctor I have, too, so we share info).
He lives an hour and a half drive away from me, slightly less from my sister. The only reason he's where he is is that there was a vacancy there. Either he took it, or he was homeless, until a spot closer in opened up.
The nurse called me, woke me up, last Wednesday. He had 3 of the 14 med cubbies still with pills in them. Two in a row, he missed, and one other. No wonder he felt sick. He had unexplained wounds on his legs and feet. He couldn't tell her how he got hurt. He falls. Hits his head, at least three times I know of. He's on coumadin (anti-coagulant), so if he bleeds inside his skull, they can't stop it. He had bleeding for three months, last year, inside his skull.
I think we caught him in time, now. The nurse was in every day, since that day last week. And a personal care worker every day, too. He sounds much better. He stabilized, with the extra care.
These services are free, in Ontario. You just have to squawk really loud, and they'll step up.
Chances are, he'll go back to once a week nursing, after he gets re-assessed by his case manager (also a nurse). When my sister gets home, we'll do that. And get the powers of attorney all set up. It's time, methinks.
Lar
Posted by TexasChic on June 7, 2006, at 17:47:29
In reply to Re: need » TexasChic, posted by Larry Hoover on June 5, 2006, at 14:10:46
Well, it sounds like you have it as set up as its going to get. My Grandmother needed round the clock supervision, but she only qualified to get a nurse once a week too. She also had the "I've fallen and I can't get up" button. It was very helpful, she used it one time when she fell out in the yard and broke her hip. They called me, an ambulance and a neighbor. Without it she would have laid in the yard until I got home from work.
She eventually got to far gone mentally to use it. One time my Mom pushed it because she passed out for no apparent reason, and when the ambulance arrived, she refused to go with them! She didn't realize (or believe apparently) anything had happened.
I can certainly empathize with you. Stay strong and just do the best you can. I know its a difficult situation to be in. You can rant to me anytime you need to.
-T
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.