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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by milly on March 6, 2006, at 14:36:00
I took up an adult education class in sculpture last Sept once I was well enough to venture out.
It has been a real help and I am thinking of going on ?foundation degree leading possibly to art therapist course (early days)My teacher is very sweet and knows that I have had a hard time but doesn't know any details.
Today he asked to see my sketch book to review what I am working on at the moment and the next moment he said 'this is really good work may I look through the rest' Well I should have said no but the words wouldn't come out, the reason is that a lot of the stuff in there was done when I was really ill and to be honest i haven't looked back lately but to see that work (very violent, angry destructive stuff) in the hands of a relative stranger (or anyone actually) freaked me out. I would have felt less vulnerable if I'd been stark naked!
He didn't say anything but I could see he wasn't comfortable and part of me feels so ashamed as if I'd confronted him with SI scares or something.
I couldn't do anymore work today just sat and shook and stroked the piece I've been working on to give my T when termination arrives!! Tried to send myself to a safe place (ie T's office)
My teacher is going to think I'm really odd (odder than he thought already)
I don't know if I can go back
milly
Posted by LegWarmers on March 6, 2006, at 16:46:45
In reply to I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher, posted by milly on March 6, 2006, at 14:36:00
Don't stress about it too much. If he is an 'artist' and a artist who teaches, Im sure he has seen some very graphic and even disturbing artwork. Don't worry, I am sure many artists express themselves through their art in that way. I've been to galleries where I have seen art that has seemed very disturbing to me. Its there, its all around. It doesn't mean anything about *you* and you shouldn't be or feel judged by it. All it says, is that you are an artist and from his initial reaction, a good artist! He may have been reacting to your feelings of discomfort when looking at them. Don't let that keep you from class!
Posted by sleepygirl on March 6, 2006, at 17:47:36
In reply to I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher, posted by milly on March 6, 2006, at 14:36:00
I second Legwarmers here, but I know what you mean...being sensitive about what art you'll show and all that.
I think a certain amount of "angst" if you will, or pain, is quite recognized in art as the fuel for creativity. Don't sweat it if you can help it, and have a good time.
Posted by sleepygirl on March 6, 2006, at 17:52:43
In reply to Re: I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher » milly, posted by sleepygirl on March 6, 2006, at 17:47:36
of course to not let someone look at your more "personal" stuff if you aren't comfortable with it, either way even having seen your art he still can't know everything there is to know about what you've struggled with. The thing with art though is that it be so invested with the feeling that drove it...it can feel like it's all there on the page.
He might very well be impressed...you can't know, but whatever he thinks I hope it doesn't inhibit you
sculpt away milly!
Posted by Gee on March 6, 2006, at 17:58:04
In reply to but it is OK....., posted by sleepygirl on March 6, 2006, at 17:52:43
Everyone who looks at your art will interpret it differently. My guess is that he cares about you and seeing this different side of you gives him another view of you. I bet when you go to class next time it will be like nothing happened. Don't let your art stop you from making more art!!
Posted by LegWarmers on March 6, 2006, at 18:07:17
In reply to but it is OK....., posted by sleepygirl on March 6, 2006, at 17:52:43
yes yes what sleepy said!
Art is emotional. If it wasn't people wouldn't be interested in it.
Posted by Tanzanite on March 7, 2006, at 1:41:28
In reply to I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher, posted by milly on March 6, 2006, at 14:36:00
Please bear with me, sometimes I don't know exactly how to put things. Art is an expression of emotion, and since he is a teacher of art I think he would understand. I hope you are able to go back. Being able to learn how to sculpt, is something I could never do. I hope you will be ok Milly. I would probably love to see any of your work, because I admire people that are able to express emotion through art or music regardless of what emotions are represented. Your sketchbook probably holds that, and even may represent a growing process. I don't know what else to say, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers if that is ok.
Tanzanite
Posted by Tanzanite on March 7, 2006, at 1:44:32
In reply to Re: I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher, posted by LegWarmers on March 6, 2006, at 16:46:45
> Don't stress about it too much. If he is an 'artist' and a artist who teaches, Im sure he has seen some very graphic and even disturbing artwork. Don't worry, I am sure many artists express themselves through their art in that way. I've been to galleries where I have seen art that has seemed very disturbing to me. Its there, its all around. It doesn't mean anything about *you* and you shouldn't be or feel judged by it. All it says, is that you are an artist and from his initial reaction, a good artist! He may have been reacting to your feelings of discomfort when looking at them. Don't let that keep you from class!
Legwarmers, I didn't read any of the other posts yet after I answered Milly's post and saw you put something very similar. I felt I just needed to comment on that and didn't want you to think I was taking sentences from your post. MY ocd brain. Gotta explain everything. Hope you are doing well
Tanzanite
Posted by LegWarmers on March 7, 2006, at 8:06:28
In reply to Re: I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher » LegWarmers, posted by Tanzanite on March 7, 2006, at 1:44:32
>
> Legwarmers, I didn't read any of the other posts yet after I answered Milly's post and saw you put something very similar. I felt I just needed to comment on that and didn't want you to think I was taking sentences from your post. MY ocd brain. Gotta explain everything. Hope you are doing well
> Tanzanite
>: ) great minds think alike!
Posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 14:49:09
In reply to but it is OK....., posted by sleepygirl on March 6, 2006, at 17:52:43
Thanks sleepy girl, I didn't realise I would feel that vulnerable and by the time it dawned on me that I had the right to say 'no' it was physically impossible to get the words out to ask him not to look.
He's quite young so I suppose I felt I needed to protect him somewhat from the 'real milly'!
Posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 14:54:34
In reply to Re: but it is OK....., posted by Gee on March 6, 2006, at 17:58:04
> Everyone who looks at your art will interpret it differently. My guess is that he cares about you and seeing this different side of you gives him another view of you. I bet when you go to class next time it will be like nothing happened. Don't let your art stop you from making more art!!
Thanks Gee
I don't think there could be much misunderstanding that I was fairly 'troubled' during that time, but I hope you are right and that it merely serves to help him understand what I do.
Do you think I should try to talk about how uncomfortable we both were or should I just let it drop?
I don't think it is possible at the moment not to 'create' it has literally saved my life.
Thanks for your support, milly
Posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 14:56:59
In reply to Re: but it is OK....., posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 14:54:34
Posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 15:03:09
In reply to (((Milly))), posted by Tanzanite on March 7, 2006, at 1:41:28
Thanks Tanzanite for your kind words they mean alot and maybe oneday I might be able to show you something. Sorry i haven't replied to your babblemail yet but sometimes I get so insecure I convince myself that people wouldn't want to hear from me or have forgotten who I am!
Thanks for your prayers I do appreciate them
Milly
Posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 15:05:12
In reply to Re: I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher, posted by LegWarmers on March 6, 2006, at 16:46:45
Thanks Legwarmers,
I talked about it with my T today and he seemed to think that I was trying to take too much responsibility for how it might have affected him, trying to protect him from the 'real milly'. I can see that but I just felt so terribly vulnerable aswell. I know at the time it was my only voice but it was such a shock to see him change and get lost for words (maybe he wasn't shocked just thought it was really cr*p!)
Thanks for your support, I am intending to go back but am unsure whether I should try to talk to him about it. What do you think?
milly
Posted by LegWarmers on March 7, 2006, at 15:53:39
In reply to Re: I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher » LegWarmers, posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 15:05:12
> Thanks Legwarmers,
> I talked about it with my T today and he seemed to think that I was trying to take too much responsibility for how it might have affected him, trying to protect him from the 'real milly'. I can see that but I just felt so terribly vulnerable aswell. I know at the time it was my only voice but it was such a shock to see him change and get lost for words (maybe he wasn't shocked just thought it was really cr*p!)
> Thanks for your support, I am intending to go back but am unsure whether I should try to talk to him about it. What do you think?
> millyI think.... I would avoid doing that. that could put you in an awkward position and its not needed. I would go back to class and act like nothing unusual happened. If he really was caught off guard, that is not your problem! It is his. He asked to see your art, which is often very personal, like a diary, that's his problem. You don't have anything to worry about, just go to class and if he says something to you about it, you could make a joke and say, next time I'll bring in my bright and happy pictures for you to see lol. But you do not owe him any explanations and you don't deserve to put any of your time into worrying about this.
Im glad you are going back : ) enjoy!
Posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 16:19:19
In reply to Re: I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher » milly, posted by LegWarmers on March 7, 2006, at 15:53:39
Thanks for your wise words, I'll try not to worry anymore.
milly
Posted by James K on March 7, 2006, at 17:08:24
In reply to Re: I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher » LegWarmers, posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 16:19:19
I used to be an artist. My sketchbook was like my diary. Any art instructor worth his salt knows this. Maybe you shocked him a little. I shock people sometimes because I look like Joe Guy, but have a life and history beyond Joe Guy. If your want to talk about your art with him, talk about technique and effectiveness. If we can't be us in Art Class, where can we be?
so relax. I never got to do as much sculpture as I would like. But whatever dark images you produce, I'm guessing you are working on busts, or pottery or something else traditional, so it isn't relevant, except you proved you are a real artist. In my less than humble opinion.
James K
Posted by Tanzanite on March 8, 2006, at 1:33:23
In reply to Re: (((Milly))) » Tanzanite, posted by milly on March 7, 2006, at 15:03:09
It is ok Milly. I will still try to show support when I can. There are sometimes I don't feel like talking, writing, nothing. I am always insecure especially with my own family. I don't expect replies to all my babblemails either. I figure that is up to the person. I just am trying to be supportive, because I haven't been here in so long and I truly have concern for people. Peace and blessings and I hope you go back or at least continue with your artwork.
Tanzanite
Posted by milly on March 8, 2006, at 3:09:05
In reply to Re: I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher » milly, posted by James K on March 7, 2006, at 17:08:24
Hi james, we haven't spoken before, but i have read many of your posts and my heart has gone out to you but have just felt too inadequate to say anything
> I used to be an artist.
Hey, 'used to be' !!! I think you'll find that your creativity is still part of you even if you are not in touch with it right now.
>My sketchbook was like my diary.Yep same here, it was my only voice except I didn't quite mean to 'scream' etc at him!
>Any art instructor worth his salt knows this. Maybe you shocked him a little. I shock people sometimes because I look like Joe Guy, but have a life and history beyond Joe Guy. If your want to talk about your art with him, talk about technique and effectiveness. If we can't be us in Art Class, where can we be?
>
> so relax. I never got to do as much sculpture as I would like. But whatever dark images you produce, I'm guessing you are working on busts, or pottery or something else traditional, so it isn't relevant, except you proved you are a real artist. In my less than humble opinion.my sculpture is actually quite abstract stuff at the moment alot of 'internal space' and safety issues coming out.
Thank you so much for your help
milly
Posted by milly on March 8, 2006, at 3:14:55
In reply to Re: (((Milly))) » milly, posted by Tanzanite on March 8, 2006, at 1:33:23
I have just reread my post to you and realise that it read that I hoped one day I would be ble to offer you support, that isn't what I mean't to say.
I meant to say that I would hope one day to maybe be able to show you some of my sculpture as you had expressed an interest.
If you read it the other way I think you might have felt hurt and I really didn't mean to do that.
Sorry, milly
Posted by Tanzanite on March 8, 2006, at 3:18:50
In reply to Re: (((Tanzanite))) » Tanzanite, posted by milly on March 8, 2006, at 3:14:55
> I have just reread my post to you and realise that it read that I hoped one day I would be ble to offer you support, that isn't what I mean't to say.
> I meant to say that I would hope one day to maybe be able to show you some of my sculpture as you had expressed an interest.
> If you read it the other way I think you might have felt hurt and I really didn't mean to do that.
> Sorry, millyNo need to be sorry. :) And someday I would love to see your work. And you have said nothing that could in the least have hurt my feelings. You are a very kind and polite and supportive poster, Have a wonderful morning.
Peace
Tanzanite
>
Posted by milly on March 8, 2006, at 3:22:23
In reply to Re:((( Milly))), posted by Tanzanite on March 8, 2006, at 3:18:50
Posted by fairywings on March 8, 2006, at 15:47:56
In reply to I think I just freaked my sculpture teacher, posted by milly on March 6, 2006, at 14:36:00
(((milly)))
I think all of us go through phases with our art, writing, or other artistic expression. Wouldn't it seem normal that most ppl would have a darker phase, or experiment with a darker side of expression? Maybe he thought you were moved by another artists darker expression and were experimenting.
It's hard when we're left with our own thoughts and think the worst. Maybe he just figures he understands sculpture, and not the other media, or maybe he likes impressionism, and finds yours more abstract? Hard to tell. As a teacher he probably sees a lot of different styles, and styles can change dramatically.
I'm sorry it bothered you so much, but maybe you could just hold onto the "this is really good work" comment?
It's good that you found the courage to venture out and start doing your art again, that's the most important thing. Good for you milly.
fw
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