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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Shortelise on January 28, 2005, at 12:44:54
In reply to Anybody else feel that their life is hopeless?, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:42:11
Posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 13:50:38
In reply to At the moment » Angel Girl, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2005, at 3:08:24
> I try to listen to those who tell me I'm not thinking straight. Since many of those who tell me that are people I trust.
Dinah
Thanks for your input. I was just beginning to do that because I'm told often that my perception of myself is very distorted, as well as my perception of what others think about me. It's hard to think otherwise. It's hard to understand that someone else can actually like me when I HATE myself so much. I extremely hurt somebody yesterday without intending to do so. I felt so bad because I would never want to hurt this person, they have been so good to me. It killed me to hear how much they were hurt by me. I immediately plunged into the dark abyss. I am extremely fragile right now since that all happened, and I have to wonder if I'll ever be any different. Will I always hurt people even though that is the last thing that I would ever want to do to anyone? Sometimes I feel that I am meant to be alone but then if someone I care so deeply about walks away from me because I've hurt them, even unintentionally, I can't handle it but I deserve all the pain that I then feel as a result of my initial actions. It was my fault to begin with and they were/are the innocent party. Even if they forgive me, it is almost impossible for me to forgive myself. I can't even put into words how painful it is to me to know that I've hurt someone even though it was unintentional. I deserve whatever backlash that is shown to me.
AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 13:53:50
In reply to Re: Anybody else feel that their life is hopeless? » Angel Girl, posted by medhed on January 28, 2005, at 9:38:56
> i probaly am not dealing with it correctly at this time so my imput might not help you. i just try to stay alive...
medhed
That's exactly the point at which I am right now. I'm sucidal because I don't want to inflict anymore pain on anybody.
I wish you the very best and hope that you can find yourself in a better place emotionally than you are right now. I feel your pain. Hugs.
AG
Posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 21:08:17
In reply to Re: Anybody else feel that their life is hopeless? » medhed, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 13:53:50
You already had the whole thing worked out and there I go, being dramatic, thinking I saved the world, oh so funny so very very funny Susan you're cute aren't you li'l girly girl you, Angel has it all worked out, now she's probably going to hate you and be afraid of you 'cause you're slightly manic.. but Angel Girl, seriously, you do know everything you already need to, see people are just reflecting you back, and do you see ANYTHING IN ANY OF THESE POSTS that would reinforce your poor opinion of yourself?????
Posted by underthecs on January 28, 2005, at 21:13:10
In reply to Anybody else feel that their life is hopeless?, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:42:11
Posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 21:15:54
In reply to Anybody else feel that their life is hopeless?, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 0:42:11
More worthless sometimes than hopeless although the 2 make a powerful combination. The key for me often is just to remember that I don't always feel this way. I guess I wouldn't want to make as radical a decision as suicide based on what I feel only some of the time even though sometimes it seems as if I feel that way more often than not.
I guess the other thing that helps is that my T and I will sort of do a review of where I've been and where she thinks we're headed in therapy. Taking a longer range view helps. I can nearly always see that I'm better overall than I was and sometimes even if I can't quite see how the game plan is going to work, I'm willing to ride on the coattails of her confidence and hope.
Mair
Posted by Angel Girl on January 29, 2005, at 18:26:17
In reply to Wow. I guess I'm pretty much an id*ot., posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 21:08:17
Susan
Ok, somewhat confused by the beginning of your post to me. Yes, I recognize what reinforces my negative feeings about myself. It's me playing the same tape over and over in my head telling myself that I hate myself. I don't know how to stop it, I do hate myself, with a passion. I do. So therefore, I'm so confused when somebody tells me that they like me or give me some sort of compliment, I can't understand it. I don't see what they see, I only see what I see.
AG
> You already had the whole thing worked out and there I go, being dramatic, thinking I saved the world, oh so funny so very very funny Susan you're cute aren't you li'l girly girl you, Angel has it all worked out, now she's probably going to hate you and be afraid of you 'cause you're slightly manic.. but Angel Girl, seriously, you do know everything you already need to, see people are just reflecting you back, and do you see ANYTHING IN ANY OF THESE POSTS that would reinforce your poor opinion of yourself?????
Posted by Angel Girl on January 29, 2005, at 18:31:34
In reply to Re: Anybody else feel that their life is hopeless? » Angel Girl, posted by mair on January 28, 2005, at 21:15:54
mair
When I reside in the abyss, I can not see anything clearly, I only see that things will never change and I'm taking up wasted space, better given to someone else who could have a happier life than I do.
However; today I am no longer in the abyss. I AM ON THE UP SIDE, A LITTLE HYPOMANIC PROBABLY!!!
AG
> More worthless sometimes than hopeless although the 2 make a powerful combination. The key for me often is just to remember that I don't always feel this way. I guess I wouldn't want to make as radical a decision as suicide based on what I feel only some of the time even though sometimes it seems as if I feel that way more often than not.
>
> I guess the other thing that helps is that my T and I will sort of do a review of where I've been and where she thinks we're headed in therapy. Taking a longer range view helps. I can nearly always see that I'm better overall than I was and sometimes even if I can't quite see how the game plan is going to work, I'm willing to ride on the coattails of her confidence and hope.
>
> Mair
Posted by Jai Narayan on January 30, 2005, at 8:48:53
In reply to Re: At the moment » Dinah, posted by Angel Girl on January 28, 2005, at 13:50:38
Most of my life I felt just like the description of yourself.
I was my worst enemy...
I felt suicidal for the same reasons you do....
When I did something wrong....
well there was no forgiving me.
I understand how you feel and I remember the pain.
An abyss filled with pain.My story changes in my 40's and 50's....
my therapy got better and better.
Finally the use of EMDR lifted all the painful and traumatic messages and beliefs I had stored in my mind and body.
the underlying message was that I was not worthy of life.It has taken me years to really step into another internal reality.
I can see how my life is different now.
Of course I can still remember how hard it was and why.So I have a lot of compassion for how you feel.
I don't know if EMDR would work for you but it makes my life livable.
I still get down sometimes but there's no anchor there to keep me down.
I can rebound back up.
Ja*
Posted by Susan47 on January 30, 2005, at 22:49:28
In reply to Re: Wow. I guess I'm pretty much an id*ot. » Susan47, posted by Angel Girl on January 29, 2005, at 18:26:17
I was feeling sorry for myself, Angel Girl, and ranting a bit, you know, I have trouble being good to myself. I hate myself often. Often.
Posted by KaraS on January 31, 2005, at 1:00:51
In reply to AG, there's hope I used to feel that way too...., posted by Jai Narayan on January 30, 2005, at 8:48:53
> Most of my life I felt just like the description of yourself.
> I was my worst enemy...
> I felt suicidal for the same reasons you do....
> When I did something wrong....
> well there was no forgiving me.
> I understand how you feel and I remember the pain.
> An abyss filled with pain.
>
> My story changes in my 40's and 50's....
> my therapy got better and better.
> Finally the use of EMDR lifted all the painful and traumatic messages and beliefs I had stored in my mind and body.
> the underlying message was that I was not worthy of life.
>
> It has taken me years to really step into another internal reality.
> I can see how my life is different now.
> Of course I can still remember how hard it was and why.
>
> So I have a lot of compassion for how you feel.
> I don't know if EMDR would work for you but it makes my life livable.
> I still get down sometimes but there's no anchor there to keep me down.
> I can rebound back up.
> Ja*
Jai,What exactly is EMDR and how did it help you? I know what the letters stand for but that's about it. I have to admit that it's hard for me to conceive of any treatments for severe anxiety and depression that can quickly turn things around for people. (But I do want to believe it.)
Kara
Posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 12:13:22
In reply to AG, there's hope I used to feel that way too...., posted by Jai Narayan on January 30, 2005, at 8:48:53
Thank you Jai, yes you describe me perfectly. I will look into EMDR, whenever my dang T decides to come back from vacation.
AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 12:18:26
In reply to Re: Wow. I guess I'm pretty much an id*ot. » Angel Girl, posted by Susan47 on January 30, 2005, at 22:49:28
> I was feeling sorry for myself, Angel Girl, and ranting a bit, you know, I have trouble being good to myself. I hate myself often. Often.
Aaah Susan, you are not an idiot at all. You are a wonderful person. As you can see, I also have trouble being good to myself and I *always* hate myself. <sigh>AG
Posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 18:07:24
In reply to Re: Wow. I guess I'm pretty much an id*ot. » Susan47, posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 12:18:26
We're not supposed to hate ourselves, why does this happen?
Posted by Jai Narayan on January 31, 2005, at 20:46:14
In reply to Re: AG, there's hope I used to feel that way too.... » Jai Narayan, posted by KaraS on January 31, 2005, at 1:00:51
I started doing EMDR years ago.
In the beginning....
I carved out a problem.
then my therapist had me put on the headphones....
the tones fluctuated from one ear to the other...
then I revisited the scene from my original trauma...
as the details were elucidated I move through my pain and saw the whole trauma clearly.
she asked me questions.
I was able to clarify my experience and she guided me.I have changed my future life in 20 minutes....
truamas that had taken me years to talk about and never change were now completely worked through in 20 minutes with EMDR.
I have no idea if this therapy works for anything but trauma.
Jai Narayan
please ask me any questions....
Posted by KaraS on January 31, 2005, at 22:07:44
In reply to EMDR and Kara....Hi...., posted by Jai Narayan on January 31, 2005, at 20:46:14
> I started doing EMDR years ago.
>
> In the beginning....
> I carved out a problem.
> then my therapist had me put on the headphones....
> the tones fluctuated from one ear to the other...
> then I revisited the scene from my original trauma...
> as the details were elucidated I move through my pain and saw the whole trauma clearly.
> she asked me questions.
> I was able to clarify my experience and she guided me.
>
> I have changed my future life in 20 minutes....
>
> truamas that had taken me years to talk about and never change were now completely worked through in 20 minutes with EMDR.
>
> I have no idea if this therapy works for anything but trauma.
>
> Jai Narayan
> please ask me any questions....
>Hi Jai,
So your issues were about a particular trauma only? I've since done just a little bit of research on this and the claims seem to be that it can work on a broader basis. It sounds so amazing. It's so hard to believe until I hear of someone who has had so much success. Is/was your therapist in the S. California area? Is this something you can do on your own or do you still need to see your therapist?A poster on the Alternative Board recently wrote a message about how acupressure/polarity therapy helped his anxiety problems more than any medication ever has. He mentioned the book he uses and he also claimed to have incredible results. I got the book out of the library today and started reading it. It's called "Instant Emotional Healing" (subtitle is "Acupressure for the Emotions") by Lambrou and Pratt. The authors are clinical psychologists. They use a variety of approaches in their practice including EMDR, which they also speak highly of.
Also, my friend/neighbor is studying acupressure and Reiki healing now so she keeps telling me to try them as well as acupuncture.
Lastly a friend of a friend of mine is a psychologist. She just got trained in hypnosis and is looking for people to practice on. It seems like all of a sudden all of these alternative approaches are being brought to my attention. I'm skeptical but maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.
K
Posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 22:28:23
In reply to Re: Wow. I guess I'm pretty much an id*ot. » Angel Girl, posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 18:07:24
> We're not supposed to hate ourselves, why does this happen?
Well, when you figure that one out, you can let me know. I've hated myself for as long as I can remember. I'm not expecting it to change anytime soon. It's very weird to me and somewhat unbelievable when somebody else tells me they like me or they compliment me because obviously others see me differently than I do myself and I honestly just don't get why they see what they do. It boggles my mind. It's hard for me to comprehend. Are you like that too?
To some degree at least, I think our *past* has a play in it, I know it does for me anyway.
AG
Posted by Jai Narayan on January 31, 2005, at 22:34:58
In reply to Re: EMDR and Kara....Hi.... » Jai Narayan, posted by KaraS on January 31, 2005, at 22:07:44
> Hi Jai,
> So your issues were about a particular trauma only?yes.
>I've since done just a little bit of research on this and the claims seem to be that it can work on a broader basis. It sounds so amazing. It's so hard to believe until I hear of someone who has had so much success. Is/was your therapist in the S. California area?
I am in Vermont.
>Is this something you can do on your own or do you still need to see your therapist?
I can't imagine doing this on my own.
well, I never...NEVER in my life had any idea I would/could have cleared my truama like I did.
I am a new person.
right down to my very vibration.
new.
jai
Posted by KaraS on January 31, 2005, at 23:49:23
In reply to Re: EMDR and Kara....Hi...., posted by Jai Narayan on January 31, 2005, at 22:34:58
>
> > Hi Jai,
> > So your issues were about a particular trauma only?
>
> yes.
>
> >I've since done just a little bit of research on this and the claims seem to be that it can work on a broader basis. It sounds so amazing. It's so hard to believe until I hear of someone who has had so much success. Is/was your therapist in the S. California area?
>
> I am in Vermont.
>
> >Is this something you can do on your own or do you still need to see your therapist?
>
> I can't imagine doing this on my own.
>
> well, I never...NEVER in my life had any idea I would/could have cleared my truama like I did.
> I am a new person.
> right down to my very vibration.
> new.
> jai
>That's so wonderful. Thanks for sharing that.
K
Posted by Susan47 on January 31, 2005, at 23:58:26
In reply to Re: Wow. I guess I'm pretty much an id*ot. » Susan47, posted by Angel Girl on January 31, 2005, at 22:28:23
Yes, I'm like that too, and I'm hoping very hard that my new therapy is going to change that. All of that. I want to live properly, I want to have the confidence in myself that will allow me to live the life I want. Because I don't want this life the way it is now. Right now, it all feels very, very disposable.
Posted by Angel Girl on February 1, 2005, at 0:00:40
In reply to EMDR and Kara....Hi...., posted by Jai Narayan on January 31, 2005, at 20:46:14
Jai
I've yet to even attempt to work out my childhood traumas. Is yours a typical response?
AG
> I started doing EMDR years ago.
>
> In the beginning....
> I carved out a problem.
> then my therapist had me put on the headphones....
> the tones fluctuated from one ear to the other...
> then I revisited the scene from my original trauma...
> as the details were elucidated I move through my pain and saw the whole trauma clearly.
> she asked me questions.
> I was able to clarify my experience and she guided me.
>
> I have changed my future life in 20 minutes....
>
> truamas that had taken me years to talk about and never change were now completely worked through in 20 minutes with EMDR.
>
> I have no idea if this therapy works for anything but trauma.
>
> Jai Narayan
> please ask me any questions....
>
>
>
>
Posted by partlycloudy on February 1, 2005, at 4:08:12
In reply to Re: EMDR and Kara....Hi...., posted by Angel Girl on February 1, 2005, at 0:00:40
I had the same incredible response and was treated for several traumatic events, in about 15 sessions.
It's not goobledegook, it's real and it works in specific cases. The evaluation takes at least one sessiont to determine if EMDR is the right treatment.
Posted by Jai Narayan on February 1, 2005, at 8:43:56
In reply to Re: EMDR and Kara....Hi...., posted by partlycloudy on February 1, 2005, at 4:08:12
It seemed the deeper I dug and the eariler the memory the more it got cleared....
till I became who I would have been without the trauma....
but I still can recall the trauma and have compassion for others who have suffered from childhood trauma.
It's not like my memory is gone.
I love this topic because I owe my new life to EMDR.
Ja*
Posted by antigua on February 1, 2005, at 13:12:57
In reply to Re: EMDR and Kara....Hi.... » Jai Narayan, posted by KaraS on January 31, 2005, at 22:07:44
Just had to jump in. My T told me that hypnosis would be bad for me because it could overwhelm me and bring something up that I'm not ready to handle emotionally yet. That's just me, though, may not be your problem. EMDR helped me to understand how I felt as a young girl but it hasn't helped bring back all the memories.I'm still very glad I did it and I may go back to it when I'm stronger. It kind of overwhelmed me, I think.
antigua
Posted by Jai Narayan on February 1, 2005, at 20:55:45
In reply to Be careful, Kara, posted by antigua on February 1, 2005, at 13:12:57
I know what you mean...
I didn't get the orginial trauma memories clearly either...you are right about hypnosis...
my sister was warned not to do that.But I am sad she isn't going to try EMDR.
oh well...
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