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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by zenhussy on July 11, 2003, at 14:45:35
In reply to I'm sorry, posted by Racer on July 11, 2003, at 4:27:54
> Thank you all for all your support over the years. I've just taken some Xanax, to make it easier to make this happen. My husband is in bed upstairs, asleep.
>
> Tonight I realized something about that affair. If he had lived, he would have ended it soon, and that would have been worse. He wouldn't have been able to give me what I need, any more than anyone else could. It would have been devastating, and probably led to the same place.
>
> I read somewhere that depressed people are actually more likely to see the world realistically. We can judge our attractiveness, abilty, intelligence, etc more realistically than 'normal' people who tend to overestimate themselves. Well, if that's true, I am attractive, intelligent, and too damaged to get through this world. My aunt likes to point out to me all the things I "should" know, and much have missed. You know, "Gee, you really should think about getting breast reduction surgery..." "You won't ever be able to retire..." "You're really too old to have children, you know..." "I worry about you..." She's right, I guess. Too late now.
>
> So, what would going on another day do for me?
>
> Thank you all, though. You did help as much as anyone did.
Racer,It is NEVER too late.
Always here to support or lend an ear, an eye, a shoulder to cry on.
I pray you stay.
The decision is yours and I must respect that.
With hope...I am holding onto hope for you until you gain perspective with all the current chaos going on.
You do what you must and I will do all that I am able to.
Blessing and hope. I hold out hope Racer.
zh
Posted by mair on July 11, 2003, at 16:45:58
In reply to Re: I'm sorry » Racer, posted by zenhussy on July 11, 2003, at 14:45:35
You wrote:
"I read somewhere that depressed people are actually more likely to see the world realistically. We can judge our attractiveness, abilty, intelligence, etc more realistically than 'normal' people who tend to overestimate themselves."I don't think this is true Racer. I've heard that depressed people are more empathic which does make sense. Also my pdoc of several years ago explained to me the difference between thought distortion and feelings distortion. (I'm way over simplifying). Your thoughts may not be distorted, but your feelings about things certainly are. You have to trust that there is a depreesed you and a not so depressed you and the only voice you're hearing right now is the depressed you. You are not your disease. Your feelings will change and your circumstances will change - that's a given. Please don't miss out on finding out what the future holds.
xoxoxox
Mair
Posted by Greg on July 11, 2003, at 17:29:26
In reply to Re: I'm sorry » zenhussy, posted by mair on July 11, 2003, at 16:45:58
Ladies,
Your efforts here are so wonderful. Racer is truly a beautiful soul and far more deserving of the hand she's been dealt in this lifetime, although I could say the same about so many of us. I had hopes that my offer to meet with her in person might give a glimmer of hope that a real live person really cared about her and loved her. I hope that it still does. But thank you both, and to the others who have reached out a loving hand. I only pray she is still there to take it.
Much love,
Greg
Posted by whiterabbit on July 11, 2003, at 18:51:01
In reply to Re: I'm sorry » Racer, posted by zenhussy on July 11, 2003, at 14:45:35
Racer-
Anger is part of grieving over a death...you're hurting, you're angry, you want to punish someone
because it hurts so badly and it's so unfair....
you have to punish SOMEONE! You have to focus all that anger at SOMEONE! You have to get rid of it
SOMEHOW! And you can't be mad at the person who is dead so you look around...Racer these people are using you for a target. Of course you know that you had nothing to do with this man's death, but his wife and friends are directing so much pain and rage at you that subconciously you DO feel guilty for his death.
It's not your fault, Racer. That man would be dead whether you knew him or not, that man would still be dead even if you had never laid eyes on him. You ARE NOT responsible for his death, don't let those people do this to you.
Please Racer, consider the offer from Zen or Greg or both, please. What have you got to lose.
-Gracie
Posted by noa on July 11, 2003, at 20:35:23
In reply to RACER, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!, posted by whiterabbit on July 11, 2003, at 18:51:01
I am very very concerned about that post, posted at 2:30 am California time. It reads to me like a suicide note. Does anyone know where she is?
Posted by Emme on July 11, 2003, at 22:42:29
In reply to Re: I'm sorry » zenhussy, posted by mair on July 11, 2003, at 16:45:58
Racer,
I started reading this thread late, and so I don't know much about you or the specifics of your situation. But it's obvious you are grieving and in terrible pain. I hate to hear someone feeling so awful. I know it's horrible. I'm not sure what to say to help, but I would like to offer my support. I hope that you will hang on tight and stay with us and that some of the pain will ease up a little. A lot of people here care about you. Keep posting and just keep talking to us.
Emme
This is the end of the thread.
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