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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 10:17:11
Well, I am having to come to a point of acceptance - that I function differently on mood stabilizers. That I can think more clearly, reason better, let ruminating thoughts go, and control my mood.
My bad last day or so has been remedied by reinstating a dose of Topamax my pdoc and I were trying to bring down. I was also recently going through one of those times when a patient thinks, "I really don't Need these medications, they're just helping a little. Maybe I'll try to lower the doses and see how I do. It couldn't have been That bad before."
Browsing through a Bipolar book at the store, I noticed a list of things that the family needs to address - one was coming to terms with the Bipolar person being on meds - forever.
As a funny counteraction to Susan's wonderful "I'm not sick" thread, I guess this is an "I am sick" thread.
I don't like being sick.
- KK
Posted by sar on October 19, 2001, at 10:29:12
In reply to Accepting that one is dependent on medication..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 10:17:11
K.,
last night i read the italicized last few pages (epilogue, i guess) of Kay Redfield Jamison's An Unquiet Mind. it nearly made me cry. of course, i was drinking wine.
please go read it, the last few pages at least...
love,
sar
Posted by paxvox on October 19, 2001, at 12:32:51
In reply to Accepting that one is dependent on medication..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 10:17:11
Kat,
If you were hypothyroidic, you would have to take synthetic hormone for the rest of your life. If your were diabetic, you would have to take insulin for the rest of your life, if you had an organ transplant, you would have to take immune suppressants for the rest of your life.
So, we have an illness that "is in our minds" and of our minds. The quality of life we enjoy depends on how we feel. So I will be popping Wellbutrin for the rest of my life to function.
It doesn't make us less of a person. It doesn't make us a stigma. We aren't a burden on society. We are 25 million Americans, living our lives the best way we can.PAX
Posted by Roo on October 19, 2001, at 12:54:21
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » Krazy Kat , posted by paxvox on October 19, 2001, at 12:32:51
I don't think I would mind being on meds for the
rest of my life if they didn't cause sexual side
effects. Without my full spectrum of sexuality
(what I experience physically/spiritually without
medication), I don't feel like a whole person. That
whole issue causes me a lot of pain, saddness and
frustration. But I've always had to make that compromise. It's like
"Hmmm....no sexuality or suicidal? I guess I'll
pick no sexuality"...but what a choice to have to
make. Unfortunately my depression dosen't seem to
respond to anything other than ssri's. Although actually
my hope has be re-sparked by starting lamictal. I
really feel it's antidepressant effect and I'll wondering
if I can lower my prozac to a more tolerable degree when
I take the lamictal....cross your fingers for me everyone...
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 13:33:14
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication..., posted by Roo on October 19, 2001, at 12:54:21
> Roo:
Good luck with the Lamictal - when I did research on it on Babble, there was certainly a lot of praise. Bummer that it takes so long to titrate up.
Also, we must keep hoping that better meds will be developed for us. For you it's the sexual side effects - for me its sedation. It's as if I'm either on the verge of mania or napping sometimes.
Thanks for your comments.
- K.
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 13:40:58
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » Krazy Kat , posted by paxvox on October 19, 2001, at 12:32:51
Pax:
I know. Must be difficult for a diabetic to adjust to, too. And, of course, there is still that stigma because it can't be "proven." I think I even still question it.
- KK
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 13:42:36
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » Krazy Kat , posted by sar on October 19, 2001, at 10:29:12
Understanding Suicide
- wonderful, but harsh book. Must be "of sound mind" to read.Thanks, Sar - I haven't picked up An Unquiet Mind yet.
Posted by Mair on October 21, 2001, at 16:49:17
In reply to Kay Redfield Jamison - Suicide Book..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 13:42:36
I'm not BP but I'd heartily recommend An Unquiet Mind for anyone struggling with meds. Even some of us unipolars may need to be on meds for a lifetime. I can still feel pretty conflicted about meds, but it used to be so much worse, and I bailed out on a lot of meds maybe without giving them a fair chance. My pdoc at the time had me read this book and it really helped me with this issue. I've reread it a couple of times since then - there are messages in this book that need to be reiterated. For me it's like getting a booster shot.
Mair
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 21, 2001, at 18:06:50
In reply to An Unquiet Mind, posted by Mair on October 21, 2001, at 16:49:17
> Absolutely many unipolars, too, will have to struggle with meds "forever". Thanks for bringing that up. Depression is just as "serious" as manic depression and deserves treatment and acknowledgement accordingly.
- K.
Posted by stjames on October 22, 2001, at 1:13:30
In reply to Accepting that one is dependent on medication..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 10:17:11
> I don't like being sick.
>
> - KK
Perhaps it is best to work to accept the illness first, then work on accepting meds.I hate the context of "dependent" here. Necessary
is a better word."You are Blanche, you are in a wheelchair"
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 24, 2001, at 9:25:18
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication..., posted by stjames on October 22, 2001, at 1:13:30
O.K., St. James, I'll bite - how do you accept an illness that can't be "proven"? An illness that can't be seen in an xray, or on a slide.
I am so literal, although also so ethereal (my two sides). My literal side has a real problem accepting it without seeing it. Comments such as "Are you sure it's not a placebo effect" re: the meds from my Dad run through my mind even though I try to stop them.
I don't really have faith in things, although I do have hope. Perhaps that's the problem?
- K., just thinking aloud
Posted by Jane D on October 24, 2001, at 15:27:52
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » stjames, posted by Krazy Kat on October 24, 2001, at 9:25:18
> O.K., St. James, I'll bite - how do you accept an illness that can't be "proven"? An illness that can't be seen in an xray, or on a slide.
>
> I am so literal, although also so ethereal (my two sides). My literal side has a real problem accepting it without seeing it. Comments such as "Are you sure it's not a placebo effect" re: the meds from my Dad run through my mind even though I try to stop them.
>
> I don't really have faith in things, although I do have hope. Perhaps that's the problem?
>
> - K., just thinking aloud
KK - I'll bite too. Let's add to that a case where drugs repeatedly stop working leaving you wondering if they ever did what you thought they did.-Jane (who, for today at least, believes again)
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 24, 2001, at 16:24:24
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » Krazy Kat , posted by Jane D on October 24, 2001, at 15:27:52
Yes, and even having your pdoc get frustrated because "last time this was working for you."
Sigh.
Posted by stjames on October 24, 2001, at 17:58:14
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » stjames, posted by Krazy Kat on October 24, 2001, at 9:25:18
> O.K., St. James, I'll bite - how do you accept an illness that can't be "proven"? An illness that can't be seen in an xray, or on a slide.
>James here.....
There are tests like the MMPI. Or you can decide
it is all in your head, you are screwed, and you just need to get over it. I know a latter are no true in my case.Many medical illnesses have no test to prove on has them, but people still have them.
Do you believe in god ? Try proving gods existance.
james
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 25, 2001, at 7:21:04
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication..., posted by stjames on October 24, 2001, at 17:58:14
Ah, see, I don't believe in God. I hope there is some benevolent being watching over me, but I have no belief system.
What's an MMPI? What are some other medical illnesses that have no tests to prove them, yet still exist?
Thanks.
- K.
Posted by susan C on October 25, 2001, at 20:16:28
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » Jane D, posted by Krazy Kat on October 24, 2001, at 16:24:24
variation on a theme...I know Keppra worked and itsey tinsey itty bitty bit...but now as I approach being OFF....I can see the difference from being ON...is this the opposite of what we are talking about here????
Mighty Mouse with Two outfits a black one and a white one
susan C> Yes, and even having your pdoc get frustrated because "last time this was working for you."
>
> Sigh.
Posted by stjames on October 27, 2001, at 15:17:56
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » stjames, posted by Krazy Kat on October 25, 2001, at 7:21:04
> Ah, see, I don't believe in God. I hope there is some benevolent being watching over me, but I have no belief system.
>
> What's an MMPI? What are some other medical illnesses that have no tests to prove them, yet still exist?
>
> Thanks.Do an internet serach on MMPI and "diagnosis of exclusion"
james
>
> - K.
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 29, 2001, at 17:51:39
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication..., posted by stjames on October 27, 2001, at 15:17:56
Posted by Noa on November 2, 2001, at 14:16:21
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication... » Krazy Kat , posted by paxvox on October 19, 2001, at 12:32:51
I think I've mostly worked this through, but I guess I revisit this issue every once in a while. I think it had come up for me lately because I have been annoyed at a couple of side effects that usually I just ignore. So, I start to think about wanting to get off some of my meds. But the thought doesn't go very far, because I know how much I suffered until I found a good med combo, and how much better I am doing now.
I guess my philosophy right now is that I continue to take these meds until something new and better comes along that won't have the adverse effects. The adverse effects really are tolerable for me, just annoying sometimes. I have "accepted" that I'm likely to be on some combo of antidepressants my whole life, but I still haven't given up the *wish* that maybe maybe things will change and I'll not need them always.......
Posted by Cecilia on November 3, 2001, at 2:58:20
In reply to Re: Accepting that one is dependent on medication..., posted by Noa on November 2, 2001, at 14:16:21
I don`t think I`d have any difficulty accepting being dependent on meds if I knew they worked. I really haven`t a clue whether they do anything or not but I stay on them for fear of being even more depressed without them. The ones I`m on now have no side effects but I feel shame when I have to list my meds at places like the dentist, eye doctor or blood bank.
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