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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alchemy on May 14, 2010, at 21:07:05
I'm not talking about a drug-induced side effect. There has never been a "loss". I know it is common in females. I am female & am not in a relationship. I mostly shy away from them because of this.
I want to have fantasies, when I try it doesn't work. I can't induce an orgasm with vibrators, etc. I want to know what at orgasm feels like. I wonder how it would be to see someone and want to have sex with them.
I don't want to feel so out of line with men and society. I just read something from one female psychologist that sexual desire is as normal as the hunger to eat. She said there is something wrong if this desire is missing. I do realize that is a bit of an extreme statement.
When I have had sex, there is some mild pleasure. While there is the "fast movement' and strange positions I mostly think how weird this is and when is it going to be over. But at those times I have continued to have sex in hopes that it would grow on me and I would feel more comfortable.
Even people on this board complain that their sexual desire is gone. People go off meds because of it. I want to know what it is like to have it.
Posted by rnny on May 17, 2010, at 13:36:22
In reply to Hate living with low/no libido, posted by alchemy on May 14, 2010, at 21:07:05
Sexual desire is normal but there is nothing wrong if the desire is not one big raging ball of fire. Remember, you need something to turn you on. If there is nothing around that suits your fancy, the natural desire for sex may not be in full swing.
Without outside stimulation, the coals start to go out. There is nothing in any literature that says a woman has to walk around turned on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Just like hunger, one's level of hunger is not the same as the person sitting next to them. For some a sandwhich for lunch will do. For others, they want a super-size meal and then leave with a refill in their soda cup for on the way back to the office. The complete absence of a sex drive could indicate a problem but a low sex drive isn't necessarily pathological. Your issue however is that you want to feel that really turned on feeling and experience it and enjoy it. Without a partner, that is not going to happen. Masturbation can bring about some likeness to the 'real thing' but what you are talking about is a desire for the real thing. I am not a mental health professional but my guess would be your sex drive is fine and that working on connecting with others (as I am) is where some effort will pay off between the sheets. When you feel desired by someone else, that in itself is a turn on. And enabling yourself to feel sexy to someone takes some getting close to others. Therein for some is where the struggle takes place. You said you shy away from relationships and if I was you, I would start working on that. Become great at relationships and the sex will follow. Gosh, it's really easy to give 'advice'.............quite another to be my own guru.
This is the end of the thread.
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