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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 14 to 38 of 51. Go back in thread:
Posted by annierose on October 27, 2009, at 21:29:19
In reply to Re: The facebook counter » annierose, posted by 10derHeart on October 27, 2009, at 20:06:22
No worries ... we are all trying to figure out the new rules and deciding if we are able to participate in this new environment.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
> I know it shouldn't feel that different. But it does. I feel let down, betrayed in some sense. I also totally can understand wanting something you created, like Babble, to be famous, or to make money. Wide distribution will do both. I can only choose for me when the rules change. So I'm choosing to leave. I'll still lurk in the corners, hoping things will change back.
I'm sorry I let you down. I hope you can also understand motivations besides fame and fortune. In case you're not aware, there's a long thread about the new buttons at Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090813/msgs/922824.html
Please do what's right for you. You've obviously meant a lot to others here, and I think you still have a lot to offer to them -- and to Facebook and Twitter users who are also real people who can benefit from support and education. I'm glad you're not leaving completely!
Bob
Posted by Cecilia on October 28, 2009, at 3:39:02
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
I'm confused. Where do these links and tweets go? To Dr. Bob's pages on Facebook and Twitter or to the pages of the person who linked them? Either way, if it's somebody elses' message it's a total invasion of privacy. Cecilia
Posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 4:09:43
In reply to I'm confused, posted by Cecilia on October 28, 2009, at 3:39:02
I've tried the buttons on my own posts. They post to my own Facebook and Twitter accounts.
Anyone reading Babble can link any message to their Facebook or Twitter account. This has always been the case though, just now there are buttons for it.
Posted by BayLeaf on October 28, 2009, at 6:18:15
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
"You've obviously meant a lot to others here, and I think you still have a lot to offer to them" - Bob
Bob, I'm sure you've read Daisy's posts all these years too. I wish you had phrased that differently. I'm sure her posts hit your heart as some point too. And I'm sure you have gained from them as well. She has a lot to teach YOU. YOU have lost out by losing her as a poster and a teacher. She has much to teach everyone about how to treat people with empathy, care, and kindness.
Posted by Poet on October 28, 2009, at 11:53:40
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Hi Daisy,
I haven't been around much lately, either, but not for reasons of privacy. I don't twitter or facebook and if I expressed my true opinion about them I'd be blocked for life.
Goodbye Daisy. You can always babblemail me. I will miss your therapy experiences and once again you are brave to have faced those childhood demons.
Poet
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 28, 2009, at 19:53:30
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Daisy, I will miss you more than you could know. You have been so helpful to me on so many different levels.
I'm not enjoying the changes here either and it's just one more thing I'm losing along with my T. So I get it. I just hate it.
Love you!
Posted by muffled on October 28, 2009, at 19:54:59
In reply to Re: good-bye » Daisym, posted by Poet on October 28, 2009, at 11:53:40
Hey Daisy, I left too, but I still peek in, and judging by the names I see here, others do too.
So maybe not goodbye, but kinda, I'll see ya around sometime?
I cannot but wonder if there is another place we could gather?
I have another place I hang out, and the people are sweet there, but after the probs with babble I try and keep a certain distance. I don't want to get connected and have to leave.
So I hope I will see you around sometime.
Thats why I leave my babblemail on. Not cuz I want to babblemail, I don't(my trust issues). But then if ever there is a gathering elsewhere, maybe someone will let me know.
Thanks for the sharing you did, you are an amazing woman and I have the deepest respect for you. I am glad you were a part of my world for the time we had here. I am the richer for it.
Just I hope you can know, all parts of you, ALL of you are important and special.
Best wishes, see you around,
Muffled
Posted by BayLeaf on October 28, 2009, at 20:29:40
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by BayLeaf on October 28, 2009, at 6:18:15
Posted by Daisym on October 29, 2009, at 0:36:14
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
hank you taking the time to write. No apology necessary - I know this isn't personal. And I meant no disrespect with the fame and fortune comment - nothing wrong with wanting that. As someone who started and has grown an agency that helps people, I really do understand the motivation behind wanting to reach more people and to expand your "services" if you will.
That said - I guess one of the things that bothers me is that "those" people don't have to play by the rules I do. By being a member here, I've agreed to follow certain rules and to be civil - at least as much as possible. And I try to give to others while also seeking out their support. Those outside this circle just get to take.
It is all very complicated, I think we all agree on that. Maybe I'm just too old for this instant world - I mean, look - I use whole sentences and punctuation. That dates me right there. I thought finding a support group in cyber-space was so forward-thinking. Now it seems that it isn't enough to log in and read and post. Everything has to be forcibly shared with others.
A wise friend told me that nothing that happens in the future can take away the good we've already done. The same is true here. Nothing that happens in the future will change the value that has existed for me from Babble. I can't imagine how things would have gone for me if I hadn't stumbled onto this site. For that I will always be eternally grateful to you, Bob, for making this place available to me. I hope that running things is still fun and fulfilling.
Posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 3:39:12
In reply to Re: I'm confused » Cecilia, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 4:09:43
I still don't get it. Why would people want to post some anonymous person's posts to their own twittter or facebook pages? Are they trying to pass them off as their own or what? Cecilia
Posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 4:27:54
In reply to Still confused, posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 3:39:12
I don't think that's a reason, as I have only seen links from anyone who uses Twitter to post Tweets leading people to other places. But - I know nothing of Facebook so can't say how it works over there. But I'm basically with you in that I really don't understand the "why" except in the case of someone such as Dr. Bob, who does this, I guess to hopefully bring new posters to Babble:
http://twitter.com/psycho_babel
and even does some on his personal Twitter page:
He is editing the posts he Retweeted to include a synopsis of what the poster wrote about, which I guess could help Google hits? and/or let his followers know whether they want to surf over to PB and start reading the thread?? I'm just making guesses here - no special insight into Dr. Bob's mind, trust me.
I can't imagine why others who are not Babblers would really be doing it either. I don't always have the greatest imagination, though. People do a lot of stuff I would never think of/imagine/enjoy and so forth.
Maybe to....
show friends/family (and followers they do not know in the case of Twitter (don't know Facebook rules) who follow them: " look what I read...." for good and helpful reasons (linking to med info, support info) or bad reasons (whoa! the people at this forum are whacked!)
Deneb Tweets **just** her own posts like this:
She has stated some reasons in her posts here, but I can't remember exactly.
The overall trouble is, people feel violated that Dr. Bob would make it easier to create a link, and some (see Admin) are quite upset he Twittered the link to a poster who recently had an actual suicide plan/near attempt, for various reasons I won't try to restate (see Admin)
That's all I know, and it ain't much.
Posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 5:20:42
In reply to Re: Still confused » Cecilia, posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 4:27:54
This is crazy! The Twitter link you posted as an example is NOT just to Deneb's own posts; she has posted dozens of other people' posts, including people who have requested NOT to have their posts tweeted! I don't know why she is doing this, but it makes me furious, furious that anyone would do this and furious that Dr. Bob would allow it. It is extremely violating. Cecilia
Posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 5:49:15
In reply to Re: Still confused » 10derHeart, posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 5:20:42
And half the posts Dr. Bob has tweeted have "do not share/ tweet" at the bottom!! Why did he even bother having a "do not share" list if he was planning to totally ignore it!!
I had no idea Twitter was mostly links. I had read that it was people answering the question "What are you doing?" and not paid any attention to it because frankly I'm not that interested in what most people are doing. But apparently it's mostly people sending links gossiping about what other people are doing. Is Facebook the same, only with pictures?
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 29, 2009, at 10:14:03
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does » Dr. Bob, posted by Daisym on October 29, 2009, at 0:36:14
> I guess one of the things that bothers me is that "those" people don't have to play by the rules I do. By being a member here, I've agreed to follow certain rules and to be civil - at least as much as possible. And I try to give to others while also seeking out their support. Those outside this circle just get to take.
On Facebook and Twitter, people have to play by the Facebook and Twitter rules. But if people from there come here, then they have to play by the Babble rules.
People have always been able to lurk and just take. And benefit from the generosity of Babblers sharing their experiences and insights with them. But it's good to give as well as to receive, and they miss out on the giving.
> It is all very complicated, I think we all agree on that. Maybe I'm just too old for this instant world - I mean, look - I use whole sentences and punctuation. That dates me right there. I thought finding a support group in cyber-space was so forward-thinking. Now it seems that it isn't enough to log in and read and post. Everything has to be forcibly shared with others.
I agree, it's complicated. I think it's nice to share, but I'm not forcing anyone to click those buttons.
> A wise friend told me that nothing that happens in the future can take away the good we've already done. The same is true here. Nothing that happens in the future will change the value that has existed for me from Babble. I can't imagine how things would have gone for me if I hadn't stumbled onto this site. For that I will always be eternally grateful to you, Bob, for making this place available to me. I hope that running things is still fun and fulfilling.
Thank you, and I'll be eternally grateful to you for sharing so much with this community.
Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?
Bob
Posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 13:48:36
In reply to Re: Still confused (And FURIOUS), posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 5:49:15
Dr. Bob and Deneb have not done that. It seems like you are probably confusing a request to not be Twittered or Facebooked with the link that now appears at the bottom, right-hand side of each of our posts. Have you clicked on the link?
That link itself automatically appears. It is new, and Dr. Bob added it as a response to posters' concerns, right after he added the two buttons on the left. It is *not* a request itself. It is just a link to the thread where posters at Babble have/can post their wishes to not be Twittered/Facebooked to Dr. Bob. It was started back in the summer, when Dr. Bob first started wanting to Tweet posts, but more people have re-asked and reaffirmed their requests lately, after he added the links to FB and Twitter. He has agreed to honor those and he definitely has as far as I know.
As for others, that would be their choice. There has never been anything we could could do to prevent anyone, anywhere, any time, from linking our Babble posts to their web pages, including social networking pages. Babble is a public forum. The two buttons just make it easier for those with Facebook or Twitter accounts.
You are right re: Twitter. It is to answer,"What are you doing?" But since you can only type 140 characters, people seem to link a lot to direct their readers/followers where they'd like them to go. For example, to click over and take a look at a Babble post.
Sorry if I caused any confusion.
Posted by BayLeaf on October 29, 2009, at 17:31:22
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 29, 2009, at 10:14:03
"Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?" - Bob
Good lord! Give it a rest! This is WHY SHE IS LEAVING. And they won't be stumbling, since you are sending them the posts....even the suicidal ones.
Posted by BayLeaf on October 29, 2009, at 17:34:24
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 29, 2009, at 10:14:03
"Thank you, and I'll be eternally grateful to you for sharing so much with this community."
for sharing that. bay
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 29, 2009, at 23:42:11
In reply to Re: Still confused (And FURIOUS) » Cecilia, posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 13:48:36
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 0:07:16
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does » Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on October 29, 2009, at 17:31:22
> > Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?
>
> Good lord! Give it a rest! This is WHY SHE IS LEAVING.She's leaving because others might benefit from this site?
> And they won't be stumbling, since you are sending them the posts....even the suicidal ones.
OK, it might not exactly be stumbling if I send it to them. But they still might benefit.
Is this:
> > I'm still alive. knowing you beautiful people give a sh*t and understand makes me feel warm inside
what you're referring to as suicidal? Do you think I shouldn't have sent that? I thought it was a nice example of how people do benefit from this site.
Bob
Posted by Justherself54 on October 30, 2009, at 1:41:02
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 0:07:16
> > I'm still alive. knowing you beautiful people give a sh*t and understand makes me feel warm inside
what you're referring to as suicidal? Do you think I shouldn't have sent that? I thought it was a nice example of how people do benefit from this site.
No, I didn't think you should have sent that..because it shows all the posting names of babblers who responded and I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH TWITTER IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM....but through your loopholes, my posting name and response is out there. What don't you get about this?
But you own this site and can do what you please, and you have hurt and angered me beyond belief. I thought my posting name and posts would not be twittered because I opted out..jokes on me. Fool me once, shame on me..fool me twice..SHAME ON YOU!
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 5:13:13
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Justherself54 on October 30, 2009, at 1:41:02
> > > [ psycho_babel Impermanence: I'm still alive. knowing you beautiful people give a sh*t and understand makes me feel warm inside http://tiny.dr-bob.org/vnpf ]
>
> Do you think I shouldn't have sent that? I thought it was a nice example of how people do benefit from this site.
>
> No, I didn't think you should have sent that..because it shows all the posting names of babblers who responded and I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH TWITTER IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM....I replaced the excerpt with the whole tweet. You can see that his posting name is the only one that's there. If you click on the link, yes, then you can see Babblers who responded, too, but that's because you're not on Twitter anymore, you're back on Babble.
Bob
Posted by BayLeaf on October 30, 2009, at 18:12:17
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 0:07:16
> > Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?
>
> Good lord! Give it a rest! This is WHY SHE IS LEAVING.She's leaving because others might benefit from this site? - Bob
----------------------------------------------why do you do this? ** you know why she is leaving**. She expressed it beautifully.
do you think you are being clever, funny, insightful? you're not.
Posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 12:00:32
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 0:07:16
> > > Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?
> >
> > Good lord! Give it a rest! This is WHY SHE IS LEAVING.
>
> She's leaving because others might benefit from this site?*"Others" might in fact beneifit from this site....(if it felt safe....)
But what about the people ALREADY here??? Have you considered THEM?????? At all???
You keep talking about others benefitting from babblers knowlege etc, but this is BABBLERS knowledge(not yours). You thow it out there willy nilly w/o regard to babblers sense of safety and privacy. Like you own us. You own our words, our feelings that we trustingly put down. You don't ask, you TAKE, in the name of helping others, but not helping US at all.
>
> > And they won't be stumbling, since you are sending them the posts....even the suicidal ones.
>
> OK, it might not exactly be stumbling if I send it to them. But they still might benefit.*AGAIN, this may benefit "others", but what of the poster?? What about THEM???
> Is this:
>
> > > I'm still alive. knowing you beautiful people give a sh*t and understand makes me feel warm inside
>
> what you're referring to as suicidal? Do you think I shouldn't have sent that? I thought it was a nice example of how people do benefit from this site.
>
> Bob*Yes, that example, at this point, seems to have worked out.
But it was private, intimate, personal....on both sides. The posters trying to help, and the suicidal person.
I don't think stuff like that should be thrown all over. Its PERSONAL.
Ugh, you don't get it do you?
I just gotta break free :(
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2009, at 15:27:57
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 12:00:32
> You keep talking about others benefitting from babblers knowlege etc, but this is BABBLERS knowledge(not yours). You thow it out there willy nilly w/o regard to babblers sense of safety and privacy. Like you own us. You own our words, our feelings that we trustingly put down. You don't ask, you TAKE, in the name of helping others, but not helping US at all.
> it was private, intimate, personal....on both sides. The posters trying to help, and the suicidal person.
> I don't think stuff like that should be thrown all over. Its PERSONAL.
> Ugh, you don't get it do you?Several posters have mentioned that posts here have always been public and available for sharing, including on Facebook and Twitter when they came along. A dialectic of this community is that it is public, yet can feel private.
Sharing and tweeting might lead Facebook and Twitter users to the many thoughtful and intelligent posts here, and then they might join Babble and contribute new perspectives and energy.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090813/msgs/922824.html
I have mixed feelings about us-them thinking. If new Babblers contribute their perspectives and energy, that would of course benefit old Babblers. It's nice to stick together, but it's nice to be open, too.
Bob
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