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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
So, I've been having a long series of terrible, horrible no go very bad days (seriously, I asked myself if it just my attitude or are they really that bad - I'm came to the conclusion it was not my attitude.). I also think I'm getting an ear infection and my car has bird poop all over it.
Yesterday my session with my T also did not go so well. He was grumpy, I was grumpy. It was not one of those magical sessions, but one of those that you kind of wish you didn't have to pay for.
I finally just ended up saying "I just want for something GOOD to happen. Like a grant being funded, or the place I volunteer getting a new tiger, or me getting a coupon in the mail for a free carpet cleaning." Something positive, renewing. He had little to say.
Well anyway, I forgot to pay him and dropped by this morning with a check and left it at his office door. I was like, "okey dokey off to work to face the fresh hell".
On the way home, I was considering reducing the number of sessions with him. Lately, I just hadn't been getting the benefit from therapy that I had in the past.
When I got home, there was a message on my machine from him. He indicated that he got the payment and so hoped that something good did happen for me today. He said that he was sending me a blessing for good things to come until he saw me again next week.
I was so floored and so touched. He had never done anything like that before. Ever. He had never even called my house without me calling first before for anything, except to cancel a session now and again.
But there it was, his voice filling my living room with a blessing.
It's amazing that even after 8 years, he can still surprise me. Maybe this is the good thing I was hoping for...
Seldom.
Posted by 10derHeart on February 12, 2009, at 19:17:24
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
>Maybe this is the good thing I was hoping for..
I absolutely think it is! I was thinking that even a second before I read what you wrote. And your T. probably doesn't realize that possibility. Ahh....maybe you can tell him your theory next time.
That is one warm and fabulous story - thank for wanting to share it here. I would have been stopped in my tracks as well. I feel better about.....stuff....any stuff with my T. and in general...just from reading that.
- 10der
Posted by DAisym on February 12, 2009, at 22:59:26
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
I love that your therapist did this for you. And surprise, surprise, they do listen to us. What a nice way to show he cares. :)
thanks for sharing this. Made me smile.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2009, at 23:05:44
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
Posted by workinprogress on February 13, 2009, at 0:32:05
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
seldom-
I so agree with tender! Not only is it probably the good thing, but what an opportunity to share with him how much it meant to you. If you can tell him you think his doing that was the really good thing, well, it might just reinforce to him how meaningful that was/is to you. And, maybe he'll reach out and show you he cares a little bit more. I think we all here can share the thought that sometimes our Ts just don't get how BIG those little things are.
I'm glad you had something to brighten your day. And I glad you let it soak in and really impact you- that's not easy either. You allowed yourself to let that feeling in, to recognize your want of that. Good for you.
Relish it. And keep us posted if you do talk to him.
(((((((seldom))))))
WIP
> So, I've been having a long series of terrible, horrible no go very bad days (seriously, I asked myself if it just my attitude or are they really that bad - I'm came to the conclusion it was not my attitude.). I also think I'm getting an ear infection and my car has bird poop all over it.
>
> Yesterday my session with my T also did not go so well. He was grumpy, I was grumpy. It was not one of those magical sessions, but one of those that you kind of wish you didn't have to pay for.
>
> I finally just ended up saying "I just want for something GOOD to happen. Like a grant being funded, or the place I volunteer getting a new tiger, or me getting a coupon in the mail for a free carpet cleaning." Something positive, renewing. He had little to say.
>
> Well anyway, I forgot to pay him and dropped by this morning with a check and left it at his office door. I was like, "okey dokey off to work to face the fresh hell".
>
> On the way home, I was considering reducing the number of sessions with him. Lately, I just hadn't been getting the benefit from therapy that I had in the past.
>
> When I got home, there was a message on my machine from him. He indicated that he got the payment and so hoped that something good did happen for me today. He said that he was sending me a blessing for good things to come until he saw me again next week.
>
> I was so floored and so touched. He had never done anything like that before. Ever. He had never even called my house without me calling first before for anything, except to cancel a session now and again.
>
> But there it was, his voice filling my living room with a blessing.
>
> It's amazing that even after 8 years, he can still surprise me. Maybe this is the good thing I was hoping for...
>
> Seldom.
Posted by Sharon7 on February 13, 2009, at 5:46:10
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
Good morning, Seldom. Thank you for sharing that. That would have really surprised me, too, had mine ever done that after a session where we just weren't clicking. Isn't it amazing what just a few kind and caring words can make, especially when they come from someone that is so important to you.
I hope you have a good day and a nice weekend. (o:
Sharon
Posted by antigua3 on February 13, 2009, at 8:54:09
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
That's really wonderful, and I admit I'm jealous. But he gets you and seems like he was trying to break through a wall that had come up between you.
This is going to sound Pollyannish, but... sometimes I want that sign so desperately, that my life is worth living, the world is really good, etc., but I can't find it. Then, when I least expect it, something will happen. But it comes from outside of me. I'll notice a beautiful bird in my yard that I haven't seen in ages, or one of the new crop of bunnies will be outside when I go out, or just notice the beautiful day, and if I'm willing to open my eyes, I can see that there is beauty in the world, and that there are signs all around me if I just look for them.
I know, pretty pathetic, but sometimes it works for me.
But, you got the sign you needed, when you needed it, from the person you needed it from. That's great.
Keep in mind, also, that the boring old sessions often aren't; they serve a purpose and have a value. Deadlocks are common, which sometimes means you are resisting, especially if you were considering reducing your sessions.
That's just my perception, and what I've been taught by others here, and it has been true for me.
antigue
Posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 10:48:09
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel. » seldomseen, posted by 10derHeart on February 12, 2009, at 19:17:24
Thank you 10der - I let the message sort of "sit" last night. I woke up this morning still feeling good about it. I still can't believe it, but I'll take it you know?
In any case, I'm glad you got benefit from it as well. Here at babble I like to think that we share the good and the bad. It's all relevant and helpful to our recoveries.
Seldom
Posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 11:00:48
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel. » seldomseen, posted by DAisym on February 12, 2009, at 22:59:26
Surprise surprise indeed! I really thought it was a wasted session. I guess he was more engaged than I was - or certainly more engaged than I thought he was.
As much as I would like a free carpet cleaning, his response was so unexpected and pleasant, I can put up with dirty carpets for a few more days.
It's so easy to forget sometimes that my therapist really does want me to be happier than I am. I mean he slogs around with me in the mire so much, I guess it's natural to think that that's where he expects me to be.
His call indicated to me that he's just not simply my "mire buddy". We both want me out of it. It's nice.
Seldom
Posted by backseatdriver on February 13, 2009, at 11:06:25
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
Posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 11:07:07
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel. » seldomseen, posted by workinprogress on February 13, 2009, at 0:32:05
It is amazing how much benefit one can get from a simple positive thought, expressed from someone that you care about.
I do plan to tell him about the impact it had on me, but I'm definately going to hold on to it for a little while longer.
I know my therapist and I know he will want to analyze my reaction to it. That's not a bad thing IMO, but I don't want to analyze it just yet, I just want to keep it for a while.
Maybe, I'll have a dream or something for him to analyze instead. He's like a kid in a candy store with my dreams.
Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 11:08:48
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 11:07:07
Posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 11:10:05
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel. » seldomseen, posted by Sharon7 on February 13, 2009, at 5:46:10
thanks sharon. I hope you have a good weekend too!
Seldom
Posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 11:26:50
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel. » seldomseen, posted by antigua3 on February 13, 2009, at 8:54:09
You're absolutely right. There are times, in fact most of the time, when it is incumbent upon us to generate our own happiness. Relying on external sources is hit or miss at best and usually, for me at least, lately it's been one giant miss. But, then again, so had the internal sources.
There is a lot of beauty, generosity of spirit, and peace to be had in this world. Depression/anxiety/mental illness I think, requires us to expend so much energy just living, that it's easy to miss out on "life" you know?
Tapping into the "spirit" of the world around me, requires a quieted inner voice - a calm. The stark contrast of that silence against the usual mental static usually allows me to "look up" and absorb in meted bits what the world has to offer.
It's nice to have some good just handed to you. It's rare, yet renewing.
Seldom.
Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 14:01:25
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
((((Seldom))))
I am so glad your T made up for that session. Instead of waiting for a big kitty, how about another piggie or pet instead? That makes me feel better, and now I have a whole zoo to keep me happy, at least animals don't let us down.
Take care of youself
Posted by rskontos on February 13, 2009, at 16:07:18
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
Seldom,
I am so happy that your T did this for you. I know exactly those struggling session times. i had one this past thursday trying to figure out my latest triggers and so for me the session was so frustrating try to get answers out of a brain that wasn't very forthcoming. My next session isn't next week due to our day he has something, I don't know what I did not ask, so it is not until Monday a week I see him. I said well if things get worse at work and the xanax doesn't work I will email you with my problems.
He said that will be fine. But he then said, You do know you can always call me whenever you need me right. I mean it whenever.
He said it with alot of genuine caring and I was floored briefly. I was trying to be light and flip and he quickly made me know he cared about things even though the session was not the easiest and it would be more than a week before I see him next. It really touched me.
Save that blessing on your machine. You will find it nice to listen to later I have a feeling. Thanks for sharing. I hope you don't mind my sharing my story.
take care,
rsk
Posted by wittgensteinz on February 13, 2009, at 16:53:24
In reply to So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 12, 2009, at 18:26:14
I'm happy for you. Thank you for sharing this - it made me feel warm reading it. Wasn't it the perfect way to show his caring and attentive listening? :)
Witti
Posted by workinprogress on February 14, 2009, at 2:29:12
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel., posted by seldomseen on February 13, 2009, at 11:07:07
Well then, wrap yourself right up in it and let it soak in for as long as it will. You deserve that. I totally know the feeling, I remember one hug I replayed in my head every night before falling asleep for some weeks...
Enjoy it... relish it.
And thank you so much for sharing it with us!
> It is amazing how much benefit one can get from a simple positive thought, expressed from someone that you care about.
>
> I do plan to tell him about the impact it had on me, but I'm definately going to hold on to it for a little while longer.
>
> I know my therapist and I know he will want to analyze my reaction to it. That's not a bad thing IMO, but I don't want to analyze it just yet, I just want to keep it for a while.
>
> Maybe, I'll have a dream or something for him to analyze instead. He's like a kid in a candy store with my dreams.
>
> Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on February 15, 2009, at 12:16:38
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel. » seldomseen, posted by rskontos on February 13, 2009, at 16:07:18
Of course I don't mind if you share your story! The relationship with our T's is so complicated it's nice to hear of good moments too.
I also completely empathize the so-called "pre-cognitive" trigger. Those really are the pits.
Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on February 15, 2009, at 12:19:08
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel., posted by wittgensteinz on February 13, 2009, at 16:53:24
The odd thing is that if he had said it in the session, I probably would have shrugged it off. It was just that kind of session.
But he called - afterwards, of his own volition.
I still can't believe it. I hope he hasn't had a stroke or something. It's so unlike him.
Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on February 15, 2009, at 12:20:25
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel., posted by workinprogress on February 14, 2009, at 2:29:12
Yeah, it was like a hug, only digital. Thanks for your post WIP, I hope you are doing well.
Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on February 15, 2009, at 12:24:05
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel., posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on February 13, 2009, at 14:01:25
It was less that he made up for the session and more that he just helped.
Therapy for me goes up and down. Sometimes it's punctuated by grumpy, others boring, others gut wrenching.
And, I simply can not bear any more pets. Sometimes when I lie down all the couch, they all congregate and stare at me. It makes me slightly uneasy.
Seldom
Posted by Phillipa on February 15, 2009, at 15:40:32
In reply to Re: So, this is entirely novel. » SlugSlimersSoSlided, posted by seldomseen on February 15, 2009, at 12:24:05
One of my pups looks at mean sadly like I'm dying or something scares me. Three animals here. Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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