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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 10:33:43
ok...i couldn't decide if i wanted to post this question or not but i need some reassurance.
because of my issues yesterday of switching so much, i took xanax yesterday...it was my old Rx of 2mg, which is more than i probably needed.
but this morning my DH called me at work and mentioned some stuff. and where he was going, then teased about me being so good last night (in bed!)
i laughed and then i said...seriously?
i joked it off to him...
but now it's really freaking me out...
i'm saying it's cuz of the xanax...but could it have been teen?
he said i was in such a "fun" mood.
i took the xanax at 2:30 and this would have been 10 or 10:30 at night? wouldn't i have been able to remember that?
i'm getting more and more scared as i write this. maybe i don't want to know the answer.
maybe just humor me and say it was the xanax.
....
i Swear if this is getting worse i 'm STOPPING thearpy! (not teen speaking...me!)
b2c.
Posted by happyflower on October 4, 2007, at 11:09:04
In reply to can't remember **Sex TRIGGER**, posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 10:33:43
B2, I am on my way to school in 5 min, but I am really worried about you and I think you need to call your T again. I will try to write in between classes today. I know financial issues are worrying you, but if you need to go to the hospital, you should go. Your daughter needs you to be well, please take care of yourself. I care about you. ((((((((B2)))))))) I will write later.
Posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 12:16:47
In reply to Re: can't remember, posted by happyflower on October 4, 2007, at 11:09:04
thanks for the hugs HF.
i'm kinda worried myself, but theres this GREAT place called denial that i'm in right now and quite happy.
Truthfully, if i didn't have an IRL little one i would have gone yesterday when my T suggested it.
but i just can't....Mostly...i'm afraid. if it were just mood swings id be more likely to go, cuz then i know id be out quickly. but what if the people at the hospital find out what this new Dx-cr@p is and i am made to stay there for months!? or worse transfered to our "state" facility (that's worse than anything out of the 30's!)
if i went there HF, i hate to say it, but i would kill myself...i would. i would die there. its such an incredible fear that it terrifies me to talk about it. so i'll stop.but i kinda listened to ya, i emailed T and sent the link to my post.
but told her it's nothing urgent and we can talk next week...so maybe she won't read it right away???i'm personally hoping she wont even reply to it. but she usually shoots back some kinda email i think to show she got it.
sometimes i like that...but not today.
Posted by happyflower on October 4, 2007, at 14:02:18
In reply to Re: can't remember » happyflower, posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 12:16:47
Hi B2,
I am writing in between classes so I have to be brief, I will be on tonight though and in chat too.
I understand why you wouldn't want to go to the hospital, that would be scary because you never know what they will do plus you have your little one. I hope your T can help you. I am scared for you , this all sounds so frightening, I know I would be freaking out too. Please keep yourself safe, okay. I am kinda wondering what brought all of this on like this. Do you think you were triggered or something?
I can hear how scared you are and I wish I could say something to help you. I will check back with you. (((((B2)))))
Posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 14:20:26
In reply to Re: can't remember » B2chica, posted by happyflower on October 4, 2007, at 14:02:18
thnx HF....
i think actually verbalizing it (at babble) has helped some.
and quite frankly about forgetting last night...i'm kinda laughing at it. cuz DH and i haven't been intimate a lot since little one was born...and this morning on phone when i first said..."seriously?" he laughed and said oh ya, the one time i was good and you don't remember!"
so he kinda laughed it off and didn't say anything else. i am too. i'm just saying it was the xanax and that i was tired...
i like this little land of denial, you should visit sometime! :^)
besides...until i know otherwise...i'm gonna stick with that story. laughter has always saved me in the past...its a great defense mechanism ya know!and the thought process and where it takes me thinking of hospital in this state....chills me to the bone and i can't even go there.
so unless i'm holding a "tool" toward me or others i'm not gonna go.i think what brought this on was tuesday's session. i think i posted above but at the last minute of session i was triggered (when i was little one) and it didn't really set in right away....it turns out it was something i hadn't remembered, but it seems little one did. anyway i barely left session and went down the hall and littleone came out...long story short...me in a ball next to the exit door, someone must have got T cuz next i know she knelling down next to me/littleone. i tell her about hurt and she try to get her in and say next session tell her. so i get better and leave.
well, earlier during that session teen came out and stayed longer than she ever had before.
to wrap this up when i called T yesterday she had a talk with littleone (tuesday) telling her to stay in until sessions, and said maybe she should have had two talks instead of one that day....meaning with teen too.
so i think all this was:
1.left over emotion from tuesday's session
2.the inner kids are understanding 'coming out' now and are doing it but don't understand there is a time and place.
3.i don't know how in the hell i'm supposed to 'contain', restrain, or whatever them so they don't come out whenever the hell they want!then my head turns to mush along with my body cuz i'm SO freaking exhausted.
************************overall, i'm feeling a little better today.
i think i spaced/dissociate a bit this morning cuz i lost about an hour here at work.but overall i think i'm feeling better now.
just kinda freaked about stuff.
i'm so glad you wrote though.
thanks HFoh, and i only have net access here at work and i leave in an hour and half so, so i won't probably see any responses till tomorrow.
Thank you so much though.
Posted by Quintal on October 4, 2007, at 14:33:10
In reply to can't remember **Sex TRIGGER**, posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 10:33:43
Yes, it's very likely that an unaccustomed 2mg of Xanax would interfere with your memory. Lower doses of lorazepam than that are used in dental surgery to cause amnesia. If this keeps on happening when you have sex without the Xanax, then I'd suspect some other cause. Until then, please don't stop therapy on account of what is most likely a medication side effect.
Q
Posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 14:37:15
In reply to Re: can't remember **Sex TRIGGER** » B2chica, posted by Quintal on October 4, 2007, at 14:33:10
THAAAAAANK you Quintal....
i needed to hear that. i will agree completely.but i think i was a little emotional this morning. i don't plan to quit therapy.
i feel bad sometimes if i write stuff like that...cuz when i write, it's SO in the moment.
i felt it then...but as the day went on and i convinced myself more and more it was xanax then i felt better and don't have intentions of stopping T.
heck i need her right now to figure all this crud out.Thanks! Q.
Posted by muffled on October 4, 2007, at 16:00:45
In reply to Re: can't remember **Sex TRIGGER** » Quintal, posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 14:37:15
Alls I can add, is that if I smoked pot and took xanax, I would have complete blackouts. Liike the kind with drinking where you know you were somewhere but remember NOTHING.
So mebbe a wack of xanax does that too by itself...
Or you might have switched, but thats OK too. Hubby liked it so WTF.
Scarey I understand, not knowing, but it seems you do OK mostly even switched.
I seem to remember that too. Sometimes things got bad, but never tooooo far (by MY standardsanyway....).
So I more trust myself to not go too far...
M
Posted by RealMe on October 4, 2007, at 22:50:51
In reply to can't remember **Sex TRIGGER**, posted by B2chica on October 4, 2007, at 10:33:43
Please don't stop therapy; you are sounding like me now. What is so awful about not remembering? It sounds like you are really scared that you will do something outside the home to embarrass yourself, etc. Stopping therapy is not the answer. Talking to T about it IS the answer. If I take my advice to you and don't stop therapy, can we have an agreement that we will both stick it out? I was prepared to go into see my therapist tomorrow and quit therapy. So, can we agree not to quit just yet?
RealMe
Posted by B2chica on October 5, 2007, at 7:55:14
In reply to Re: can't remember **Sex TRIGGER** » B2chica, posted by RealMe on October 4, 2007, at 22:50:51
no worries RM, in my post to quintal i explained that it just really freaked me out a bit and was really 'in the moment' when i wrote that.
i'm MUCH better. and i have no intentions of quitting therapy...man i'm so messed up i'll probably be putting all her kids through college! lol
but no worries.
and i'm feeling Much better today...cuz kinda like muffled said DH did have fun LOL and i guess i did too, just wish i could remember it (ha). and that i was with DH and not going out somewhere.
but i really think it was the xanax that did that...cuz i do remember one time....well i don't want to get into that rightt now, but lets just say i think i've been there before and it was because of xanax.
but thank you for caring words RM!
Posted by rskontos on October 5, 2007, at 11:44:16
In reply to Re: can't remember **Sex TRIGGER** » RealMe, posted by B2chica on October 5, 2007, at 7:55:14
B2, IMHO it might have been the xanax on top of the switching from therapy. You were already in a heightened state due to the switching so enter the xanax which you haven't taken much and wham it sends you over into lala land. That would be my take. Kinda like the suggestive state a person needs to be in for hypnosis to work. You were already in that state due to switching and just the 1/2 pill was enough to cause you probably not to remember anything plus you stated you were exhausted. How many times have you been exhausted, wake go to the bathroom, maybe get a drink or water, go back to bed, and are clueless. Well having a fun time with DH and to forget that you would definitely need more to do that and in the state you were in after all you had been in created that state. I would not worry about unless it happens more. I have these lose time/what I am doing states alot so I understand. They are freaky but I have never hurt myself. And since you had a good time well leave it at that for now...........and you made your DH very happy.........
This is the end of the thread.
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