Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 659620

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Is this odd thing for a T to say?

Posted by happyflower on June 21, 2006, at 6:15:49

Over the last year or so my T makes comments about himself, usually pertaining to his running. But he calls himself fat and old. I will say that you are not fat and old, and he says well compaired to the young runners he is.

Then another time he said that one time he was running without his shirt around his neighborhood and saw a teacher he knew who drove by and waved at him. He said he felt embarrest by the way his chest looks, so now he wears T-shirts all the time.

And the last time, about a month ago or so, I don't rememeber what exactly we were talking about. (maybe loseing weight and running) and he said something about his chest (looking like a swimmers body). I told him I thought he was way too critical of himself. He smiled and said thanks. And I went on to tell him how he has such nice looking runners legs and stuff. Then I got kinda embarrest and said "not that I noticed or anything". LOL Then we talked more about his legs and being a teenager and all. I know he was once very skinny in high school, like being 135 at 6' 2" and now he is around 200lbs.
But I just find it strange for a guy who seems so self confident, to put down his looks. He looks wonderful to me, but maybe I am looking through rose colored glasses. Isn't this kinda of weird for a T to talk about and it has nothing to do with me talking about my body which I really haven't gotten into. I need to lose some weight, but I don't have any reason to talk to him about it, because I am mostly comfortable with my body anyways.

 

Re: Is this odd thing for a T to say? » happyflower

Posted by annierose on June 21, 2006, at 6:25:29

In reply to Is this odd thing for a T to say?, posted by happyflower on June 21, 2006, at 6:15:49

It's sort of outside the realm of a regular client/therapist conversation. Every relationship is different. My T nevers talks about herself. And I think that is a very difficult thing to do when I reflect on it. It must take a lot of self control and focus just on the client.

It isn't your job to reassure him that he is physically fit. Tells you more about him than you need to know.

 

Re: Is this odd thing for a T to say? » happyflower

Posted by Poet on June 21, 2006, at 8:48:01

In reply to Is this odd thing for a T to say?, posted by happyflower on June 21, 2006, at 6:15:49

Hi Happyflower,

I think it is an odd thing for him to say, but maybe it's his way of trying to find out if you have issues about your body? If he shows that he doesn't think he's perfect maybe you'll be more comfortable talking about yourself?

I may be totally off base, because I have body image issues, I assume everybody does. My T told me she has a thyroid disease and I think it was her way of saying it's okay to talk about how fat I think I am in front of her. Kind of like, T has a medical issue with her body size, I have a mental issue with mine. No, I don't, I'm fat!

Anyway, just a thought.

Maybe you can offer to be your T's workout partner? Help him build up that muscle. LOL.

Poet

 

Re: Is this odd thing for a T to say? » Poet

Posted by happyflower on June 21, 2006, at 9:31:30

In reply to Re: Is this odd thing for a T to say? » happyflower, posted by Poet on June 21, 2006, at 8:48:01

LOL! I love your sense of humor Poet! I can think of a LOT of muscles, ummm.. well you know! LOL I would love to be his workout partner! In a way we are at the same place mostly at the same time, so why not? LOL

But the thing is, he isn't fat at all, because I have seen him doing crunches and there is no roles there! Heck I am like thinking if you think YOU are fat, I wonder how he thinks of me? He has maybe 5 -10 lbs at the most to lose if anything. He is in such good physical shape anyways. He must feel comfortable enough to talk about his body in front of me but i just think it is odd that someone with so much self confidence to talk about their appearences like that, especially since he is so HOT! dang! :-)

 

Re: Is this odd thing for a T to say? » annierose

Posted by happyflower on June 21, 2006, at 11:51:04

In reply to Re: Is this odd thing for a T to say? » happyflower, posted by annierose on June 21, 2006, at 6:25:29

Thanks Annierose,

I do know we don't have a usual theraputic relationship, that is for sure. But I know a lot more personal medical stuff that I wish I didn't know, but I do. I have told him to stop telling me such personal stuff about himself because these are MY boundries now. LOL He still slips up once in a while, but mostly is keeping to his word.

 

Re: Is this odd thing for a T to say?

Posted by Karolina on June 21, 2006, at 22:31:37

In reply to Is this odd thing for a T to say?, posted by happyflower on June 21, 2006, at 6:15:49

My T has said the same sort of thing… He makes jokes about being so old all the time (he’s in his late 40s) or will comment about his appearance or weight. Once he was telling me about how he had gone through a period of depression and had really lost his appetite, but then things got better and he was like ‘and now I probably eat *too* much’. or when we were talking about diets/exercise one day, he was talking about how he is ‘probably like 20 pounds overweight’…yea right!! this man is HOT. tan, in shape, looks younger than he really is and does stuff like rock climbing and running.

I was thinking maybe that, because of the whole attraction thing going on, our Ts feel insecure around us or something? or maybe they are trying to get our attention to say nice things about them? it’s really strange. Sorry that I don’t know exactly if it's an odd thing for a T to talk about (since mine does the same thing!) but I totally understand what you are talking about!

-Karolina-


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.