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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on November 17, 2005, at 14:58:22
On my way to therapy each week, there's a sign with the current winning jackpot for the Mega Millions lottery. Last week, it was up to $315 million. Of course, the sign always gets me thinking. This time, I decided if I won, I would *try* to get my T on my payroll :). So, I told him this and after he stopped laughing, we talked about what I would want from that kind of arrangement.
Seems I want to know where he is all the time and what he’s doing. I want to be able to call him whenever I want. I think my mind works in overdrive most of the time and I feel like I just need someone (namely him, right now) to tell me my decisions are okay and that I can stop thinking about them so much. I want him to tell me not to worry and everything is going to be okay…about whatever. All the stuff that’s constantly in my head and I can’t seem to stop thinking about.
What would you want from your T if you had him or her on your payroll?
Oh, and needless to say, I didn’t win the lottery. But on the way out the door, my T told me I can call him if I need to. In two and a half years of therapy, he’s never told me I can call.
Maybe he doesn’t know I didn’t win. ;)
Posted by muffled on November 17, 2005, at 15:22:01
In reply to Mega Millions, posted by All Done on November 17, 2005, at 14:58:22
Posted by Dinah on November 18, 2005, at 8:49:58
In reply to Mega Millions, posted by All Done on November 17, 2005, at 14:58:22
I've had this same fantasy, and discussed it with my therapist. I think, for me, it's a way of having security with him. To know that I was compensating him well enough that he wouldn't leave me. To pursue other career choices, etc. It'd still be ok for him to see other clients. I'd just make it worth his while never to leave *me*.
Posted by Voce on November 18, 2005, at 10:38:04
In reply to Mega Millions, posted by All Done on November 17, 2005, at 14:58:22
I thought really hard about your post, and I decided that if my T was on my "payroll", I'd feel like I was his "sugar mom" or something. As much as I'd love to have him at my beck and call, and always available for daily sessions, I'd almost want him to keep me as a client no matter what happened. I've never paid for therapy--it was always available through the student health clinic and therefore free to me. I haven't had a T since, and when and if I do go back to therapy, I'd have to pay my T. I don't know how I'd feel about that. I know everyone else on the board, pretty much, does this, but I can't imagine. I just want unconditional love. Is that too much to ask? :-\
Which only goes to show that the deepest desire of my heart cannot be bought at any price.
Posted by All Done on November 18, 2005, at 17:07:52
In reply to Great Post!!!:)LOL!!!! (nm) » All Done, posted by muffled on November 17, 2005, at 15:22:01
Posted by All Done on November 18, 2005, at 17:09:31
In reply to Re: Mega Millions » All Done, posted by Dinah on November 18, 2005, at 8:49:58
> I've had this same fantasy, and discussed it with my therapist. I think, for me, it's a way of having security with him. To know that I was compensating him well enough that he wouldn't leave me. To pursue other career choices, etc. It'd still be ok for him to see other clients. I'd just make it worth his while never to leave *me*.
Oh, I like the idea of the security, too. I don't think I'd want to share him with other clients, though :(.
Posted by All Done on November 18, 2005, at 17:15:49
In reply to Re: Mega Millions » All Done, posted by Voce on November 18, 2005, at 10:38:04
> I thought really hard about your post, and I decided that if my T was on my "payroll", I'd feel like I was his "sugar mom" or something. As much as I'd love to have him at my beck and call, and always available for daily sessions, I'd almost want him to keep me as a client no matter what happened. I've never paid for therapy--it was always available through the student health clinic and therefore free to me. I haven't had a T since, and when and if I do go back to therapy, I'd have to pay my T. I don't know how I'd feel about that. I know everyone else on the board, pretty much, does this, but I can't imagine. I just want unconditional love. Is that too much to ask? :-\
>
> Which only goes to show that the deepest desire of my heart cannot be bought at any price.Yeah, the monetary exchange is such an odd thing in the therapeutic relationship. I feel a lot like you about it, unfortunately, I have to pay. I've never addressed that part of my feelings with him, though. I guess I just try to accept that it is the way it has to be. If I think too hard about it, it starts to feel dirty to me. :( And I don't want my T to get the impression that I think less of his chosen profession because in reality, I completely admire him for doing what he does.
I have told him that sometimes I wish he was "just" my friend with no money involved, though.
This is the end of the thread.
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