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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 16:50:22
I have an appoitment to see a registrar in a couple weeks. Apparantly he sent me a letter (to an old address) but someone read it to me over the phone when I called to check what was happening (if anything). Blah blah he is taking over my old p-doc's cases... He would like to meet with me to discuss medication and the ongoing management of my case blah blah.
Who knows what that means.
In the assessment... She wrote that it wasn't good for me to work with registrars for several months at a time. That their leaving only served to reinforce the dissociation.
She told me that she didn't think it was a good idea. I said I didn't give a sh*t. That I just wanted to work with someone who wanted to see me. She said registrars would want to see me but wouldn't be good for me. She must have been talking about someone else. Nobody wants to see me. I have to take what I can get.
:-(
I'm scaired.
He'll probably offer me nothing.
The assessment has become the perfect excuse
:-(He said he knows its hard to meet with somebody else after somebody leaves.
Its always about leaving. Always. Right from the start :-(
Posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 16:54:44
In reply to hmm, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 16:50:22
it hurts so much
and i can't help taking it personally
:-(
Posted by Damos on August 16, 2005, at 18:16:56
In reply to Re: hmm, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 16:54:44
What ever you choose to do, to go or not go, I'll be right there with you. You just reach over and take my hand and squeeze as hard as you need to okay. You just hold on tight and take all the strength you need from me.
Sorry, is 'she' 'washerface' or someone else? If it is, honestly what the f*ck would she know anyway. What matters is how you feel about it. I can only imagine that there are a million different thoughts going on inside you about it. You are stronger than you know, trust your intuition.
It really hurts when you're hurting :-(
Posted by cricket on August 17, 2005, at 8:15:49
In reply to hmm, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 16:50:22
(((Alex)))
Ugh. Are you working toward a degree at the university? Or are you on faculty? How permanent is your situation?
I don't understand about not being able to work with registrars. Isn't their position permanent? Couldn't they work with you for as long as you are there?
I agree with you. I'd stick with anybody who wanted to see me. Same pathology again, huh :-)
Can you talk to the therapist you're currently seeing about this? She's one of the ones that you're not supposed to see, right?
Don't be afraid. I think it might work out. Even just based on odds, it's time for it to work out, right?
Posted by Tamar on August 17, 2005, at 13:43:23
In reply to hmm, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 16:50:22
I'm sorry it's so hard. I wish I had helpful things to say. I'll be thinking of you.
Tamar
Posted by alexandra_k on August 17, 2005, at 16:09:24
In reply to Re: hmm » alexandra_k, posted by Damos on August 16, 2005, at 18:16:56
Hey :-)
Na, 'she' is the lady who did the assessment and made the dx.I guess she is supposed to know if anyone is.
But sometimes the universe isn't optimal and we just have to take what we can get.
Maybe... I'll learn how to not take it so personally. I think I did alright in the end about my last p-doc leaving. Lost it a little... But I really think I came right. Maybe that will be easier next time round.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 17, 2005, at 16:15:08
In reply to Re: hmm » alexandra_k, posted by cricket on August 17, 2005, at 8:15:49
Hey. Yeah, working on my Masters but I should finish up around the end of October. Not exactly on faculty... Has a sessional assistant post for the first semester but thats expired now. At my request - I find it too hard to tutor and do my thesis at the same time.
Do some odds and ends though (just that the dean won't authorise new contracts seeing as FASS is broke and looking at laying off staff...)
Hopefully (if all goes well, touch wood) I'll be moving to Canberra (Australia) in January.
> I don't understand about not being able to work with registrars. Isn't their position permanent?Nah, not perminant. They do rotations. Usually only there for a couple months.
>Couldn't they work with you for as long as you are there?
Yeah. Thats kind of what happens sometimes... I don't know how long he's been there already, though. Dunno when he is moving on...
> I agree with you. I'd stick with anybody who wanted to see me. Same pathology again, huh :-)Heh. Yeah, maybe. But that being said I have also been known to walk out on people. Usually because their world view is so different from mine that I can see that we simply aren't going to be getting on or talking the same language (inner spirit guides & co).
> Can you talk to the therapist you're currently seeing about this? She's one of the ones that you're not supposed to see, right?Uh. Yeah, I don't think I'll mention it...
> Don't be afraid. I think it might work out. Even just based on odds, it's time for it to work out, right?yeah. I hope so.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 17, 2005, at 16:15:35
In reply to (((((Alex))))) » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on August 17, 2005, at 13:43:23
Thanks Tamar :-)
Posted by alexandra_k on August 17, 2005, at 21:36:07
In reply to hmm, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2005, at 16:50:22
I do.
I don't want to play games.
I do not.
I will tell her.
I promise you guys
So now I have to...
Posted by Damos on August 17, 2005, at 22:11:47
In reply to Re: I have to tell her, posted by alexandra_k on August 17, 2005, at 21:36:07
The only promise you have to keep to us is:
To be true to, do what you believe is best for, and take good care of - YOU. Okay.
(((((Alex)))))
Posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2005, at 22:51:25
In reply to Re: I have to tell her, posted by alexandra_k on August 17, 2005, at 21:36:07
okay... so... tomorrow morning :-(
i never ever get this... but i don't want to go.
i didn't do as she asked
and all i managed to do this week... is wind myself up
into a bit of a state
and now i have a really pressing deadline
managed to sleep 14 hours yesterday.. crashed round 6 and didn't get up till 8
and now... i feel so tired.i might just have to ask to keep it light this week.
i so hate it that i do this
its either too light or too heavy
i just can't seem to...
and i think its really bad that i dont feel attached to her
:-(
i don't know why
she is so kind and thoughtful
and a terrific listener
and so very non judgemental
and she really is great
and i don't know what my problem is.it can't always be like this :-(
i really don't want to tell her about not feeling attached to her :-(
i thought i would over time.
but now its been...
sh*t...
its been over a year now
ive been seeing her for over a year.
no.
that can't be right.
it can't be.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2005, at 22:55:28
In reply to Re: I have to tell her, posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2005, at 22:51:25
it can't be. maybe i just started seeing her this year...
but i seem to remember her going away for a couple weeks over christmas...
my heart is cold
and i don't know how to close the lid
now that its open
must continue to function
must
must
:-(
This is the end of the thread.
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