Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 515915

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Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » cricket

Posted by happyflower on June 21, 2005, at 12:04:23

In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 11:55:49

>>>
> Anyway, now I'm off to therapy and I wish I had them on.
>
>
Good luck today at your appointment! Maybe you should store your power pants in your car and change before you get there!

 

Re: Do you dress up special for your T?

Posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 15:14:13

In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » cricket, posted by happyflower on June 21, 2005, at 12:04:23

> >
> Good luck today at your appointment! Maybe you should store your power pants in your car and change before you get there!
>
LOL! Good idea.

 

Re: Do you dress up special for your T?

Posted by messadivoce on June 21, 2005, at 19:14:13

In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by cricket on June 21, 2005, at 15:14:13

Good question. When I had therapy with my male T, I always chose my best, most slimming outfit and made sure every hair was in place. It WAS like a date. Only worse.

But there was one week when I was sick and had a fever, but since I couldn't skip any of my classes that day, I decided to just do everything, including therapy. I really didn't look that good from a clothing or makeup standpoint. As soon as I went in there and sat down, he looked at me and said, "You look terrible." Thanks so much.... And then he said, "Are you sure you can do this today?" When I said yes we went on to have one of the most emotionally wrenching sessions ever.

 

Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » messadivoce

Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 8:52:12

In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by messadivoce on June 21, 2005, at 19:14:13


>
> But there was one week when I was sick and had a fever, but since I couldn't skip any of my classes that day, I decided to just do everything, including therapy. I really didn't look that good from a clothing or makeup standpoint. As soon as I went in there and sat down, he looked at me and said, "You look terrible." Thanks so much.... And then he said, "Are you sure you can do this today?" When I said yes we went on to have one of the most emotionally wrenching sessions ever.

Maybe we should dress how we're feeling, instead of dressing to impress! Sounds like it was beneficial, but difficult.

Jazzy
>
>

 

dressing for feelings

Posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49

In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » messadivoce, posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 8:52:12

Brilliant, Jazz!

Sad? Blue clothes.

Rattled? lots of beads and bangles.

Dull? Faded blue jeans, faded shirt, tarnished silver.

Tense? Tight clothes.

Angry? Bright red, and boots, sw*shy (now, that's really strange. The auto-censor put an asterix where the "i" should be in that word. I can't imagine how sw*shy could be interpreted as a bad word...) skirt. Heavy jewellery that clanks.

Suicidal? Chokers. Crisply ironed clothes, a razor crease in the slacks. Black clothes, lots of black eye makeup - real gothic.

Avoidant? Sunglasses. Big sunglasses. Baggy clothes, lots of layers.

Regressed? Pig tails, bubble gum, knee socks. Pink.

Dissociated? Hm. That would necessitate wearing anything BUT what you might be feeling... that's a hard one.

Projecting? Wear just what your T wears.

Transference? Just mimic his body language. No special clothing required.

Heartbroken? Long strands of beads, long earrings, a long skirt, a long top, little flat shoes that need resoling.

Needy? No makeup, ever so slightly frayed collar and cuffs.

The possibilities are endless.

:-)

ShortE

 

ShortE - I love it! (nm) » Shortelise

Posted by cricket on June 22, 2005, at 12:44:15

In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49

 

Re: dressing for feelings

Posted by Tamar on June 22, 2005, at 13:47:54

In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49

My family are staring at me asking me what's going on as I guffaw loudly, with tears streaming down my face!

I particularly liked Regressed...

I'd better run before my husband gets all sw*shy.

Tamar

 

Re: dressing for feelings » Shortelise

Posted by Dinah on June 22, 2005, at 16:27:43

In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49

Hmmm...

My every day attire is pink, with knee socks. And I often wear my hair in pigtails. No bubblegum though.

:)

 

Re: dressing for feelings » Shortelise

Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:38:27

In reply to dressing for feelings, posted by Shortelise on June 22, 2005, at 12:28:49

Wow shortE, you gave that a lot of thought! You're much more creative than I am. I was just thinkin' depressed - unkempt! Anxious lots of things to play with, like bracelets? That would say it all! When I was shy, I used to wear my hair in my face, like I could hide behind it or something.

Jazzy

 

Re: dressing for feelings » Dinah

Posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:40:37

In reply to Re: dressing for feelings » Shortelise, posted by Dinah on June 22, 2005, at 16:27:43

> Hmmm...
>
> My every day attire is pink, with knee socks. And I often wear my hair in pigtails. No bubblegum though.
>
> :)

Hmmmm..... that IS coincidental Dinah! I did love the clothing for regressed. Well, I loved them all.

Jazzy

 

Re: dressing for feelings

Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 2:44:53

In reply to Re: dressing for feelings » Dinah, posted by Jazzed on June 22, 2005, at 16:40:37

I try and go with comfortable.
But 'comfortable' is hard to do...
It usually mean that most things get thrown around the room because nothing 'feels right'.

Sometimes I just feel comfortable. My clothes seem to fit okay and I feel alright. Sometimes I just feel awkward or wrong somehow. And so I try something else on and hope I find something that feels sort of okay.

So... My moods decide I guess.

 

Re: dressing for feelings

Posted by spalding on June 23, 2005, at 13:12:02

In reply to Re: dressing for feelings, posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 2:44:53

Great question. I have two sessions a week at night (one meeting at 8:30pm, one at 9:00pm), so usually I get home from work the first thing I want to do is change into my jeans.

My weight totally dictates what I wear to therapy. (And of course, we work on weight issues constantly in the room...) When I'm at a lower weight, the outfit might be jeans and a closer-fitting top/sweater/whatever. If I feel fat and blah, it'll be jeans and a sweatshirt.

Sometimes I feel I should dress nicer, since my T. always looks sharp...like he's dressing up for me and I'm not for him. He never, ever makes comments about my appearance, though. He once said, "I'm no fashion plate..." and I interrupted him and said, "I beg to differ." That was kind of funny.

Amazing what a 20-pound swing will do for your confidence, clothes style, etc. Of course, we all know this, right?

 

Re: dressing for feelings » spalding

Posted by alexandra_k on June 23, 2005, at 17:25:49

In reply to Re: dressing for feelings, posted by spalding on June 23, 2005, at 13:12:02

Yeah. I think there is a lot to that. I guess when I can't seem to feel comfortable its probably cause I'm bloated (I've just realised in the last little while just how much my cycle affects my moods)

 

Re: dressing for feelings » spalding

Posted by 10derHeart on June 24, 2005, at 18:08:41

In reply to Re: dressing for feelings, posted by spalding on June 23, 2005, at 13:12:02


> Amazing what a 20-pound swing will do for your confidence, clothes style, etc. Of course, we all know this, right?

Yeah. Unfortunately, I know this with other numbers of pounds as well. 20, 30, 40, 50...and...oh, never mind. :-(

And does it qualify as a *swing* if it's only gone in one direction so far?

<sigh> This topic (very difficult for me to face), has come up every day for 4 days in my life this week. yuk. yuk. bleck.

 

Re: dressing for feelings

Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:09:51

In reply to Re: dressing for feelings » spalding, posted by 10derHeart on June 24, 2005, at 18:08:41


> Yeah. Unfortunately, I know this with other numbers of pounds as well. 20, 30, 40, 50...and...oh, never mind. :-(
>
> And does it qualify as a *swing* if it's only gone in one direction so far?
>
> <sigh> This topic (very difficult for me to face), has come up every day for 4 days in my life this week. yuk. yuk. bleck.
>
I'm so sorry Spaulding, I know how really hard this is. Are the meds contributing to it? I'm so afraid of meds because of that. I have been seriously overweight, and it was partially meds, partially depression. Can't make you feel any better to have to revisit it so often.

thinking of you (((HUGS)))
Jazzy

 

Re: Oh sorry Tamar » Jazzed

Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:13:33

In reply to Re: dressing for feelings, posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:09:51

I'm sorry Tamar, I thought that last post was from Spaulding. Weight is such a painful issue. I wish there weren't so much variation, and that there were better ways of helping ppl with it.

My GP is waiting for a drug to come out, it's called Rimonabant. It's in stage 3 clinical trials, and so far no bad side effects. Let's keep our fingers crossed for that one!

(((((Hugs))))))
Jazzy

 

Re: Oh sorry Tamar » Jazzed

Posted by 10derHeart on June 25, 2005, at 11:56:20

In reply to Re: Oh sorry Tamar » Jazzed, posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:13:33

Hey Jazzy,

good thing this isn't baseball...but actually, you only struck out twice...wasn't spalding, wasn't Tamar...was ME - 10der - who wrote all the whiny, dramatic weight stuff. (all true...but still sounds like I'm wallowing...)

Well...at least we know you're paying attention...<grin>

Seriously, spalding's post was timed at a moment where a relative (she's over 80 and not well) had said blunt things abut me and a cousin (her own daughter) about being thin years ago, and now, "what happened?!" Stuff like that. My relatves can be really direct - it's their way and they are good people, just not much in tune with sensitivity to feelings or anything.

Anyway, that was kind of funny, in a way (my sense of humor may be weird today)how you wrote nice stuff..to the wrong people. Doesn't make it any less nice, you know!

Yeah for us all being human! Yeah for ADD that makes us quick, impulsive and occasionally messed up! Means we're unique! Yeah!

-- 10der (still fat but choosing to ignore all bad feelings about it today!)

 

Re: Oh sorry Tamar » 10derHeart

Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 20:45:45

In reply to Re: Oh sorry Tamar » Jazzed, posted by 10derHeart on June 25, 2005, at 11:56:20

> Hey Jazzy,
>
> good thing this isn't baseball...but actually, you only struck out twice...wasn't spalding, wasn't Tamar...was ME - 10der - who wrote all the whiny, dramatic weight stuff. (all true...but still sounds like I'm wallowing...)

Oh sh*t 10der, I'm sorry! Geeze, you'd think I could read a fri**in" post! Wallow away baby, I know just what you're talking about! AND I feel for ya.

> Seriously, spalding's post was timed at a moment where a relative (she's over 80 and not well) had said blunt things abut me and a cousin (her own daughter) about being thin years ago, and now, "what happened?!" Stuff like that. My relatves can be really direct - it's their way and they are good people, just not much in tune with sensitivity to feelings or anything.
>
Woah! No, I would NOT appreciate that either, too harsh, too direct, too painful. I'd feel like slappin' 'em upside the head. BUT of course ya can't do that to ppl can you? Maybe something like, gosh, and WHEN in the H*ll did you get so freak** old?! Just kidding!

>
> Yeah for us all being human! Yeah for ADD that makes us quick, impulsive and occasionally messed up! Means we're unique! Yeah!

Yep, my ADD has me as verbally impulsive as they come sometimes. Unique, yeah, I like that! Wish I were quicker on my feet with the thinking part.
>
> -- 10der (still fat but choosing to ignore all bad feelings about it today!)

Ya know, I've fought it for years, and I'm still fat. I exercise my a** off and I'm still fat. I keep at 1,800 cal. a day, while swimming 40 laps in 30 min, biking 10 miles in less than an hour, and walking 5 miles every day, and guess what? I"m still fat! What ya gonna do?! Not a darn thing more.
Jazzy

 

Re: Do you dress up special for your T?

Posted by Blossom on June 30, 2005, at 22:15:37

In reply to Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 8:30:24

I didn't used to wear any makeup or anything special, but he would always tell me I looked tired and pale (I was being treated for an eating disorder). So after a while of that, I decided that I would never go in to see him without makeup on.

Well, I was pretty good about always wearing makeup, and then one day I rode my bicycle to his office, so I wasn't wearing any, and do you know what his first words were to me?

"Are those bug bites or zits on your face?"

Hello? Do you ever ask a woman that question? I figured he must be awfully comfortable with me.

Blossom

 

Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » Blossom

Posted by Jazzed on July 1, 2005, at 0:37:47

In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by Blossom on June 30, 2005, at 22:15:37

> I didn't used to wear any makeup or anything special, but he would always tell me I looked tired and pale (I was being treated for an eating disorder). So after a while of that, I decided that I would never go in to see him without makeup on.
>
> Well, I was pretty good about always wearing makeup, and then one day I rode my bicycle to his office, so I wasn't wearing any, and do you know what his first words were to me?
>
> "Are those bug bites or zits on your face?"
>
> Hello? Do you ever ask a woman that question? I figured he must be awfully comfortable with me.
>
> Blossom

I'd hit him! LOL What kind of a question is that?!
Jazzy

 

Blossom

Posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:34:54

In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » Blossom, posted by Jazzed on July 1, 2005, at 0:37:47

I would love to know what type of things your T says to the people in his private life. I wonder how well-liked he is?

 

Re: Do you dress up special for your T? » Blossom

Posted by Dinah on July 2, 2005, at 10:43:47

In reply to Re: Do you dress up special for your T?, posted by Blossom on June 30, 2005, at 22:15:37

Good grief. I don't think I could have let that one pass without a *lot* of comment.

 

Re: Blossom

Posted by Blossom on July 2, 2005, at 18:28:44

In reply to Blossom, posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:34:54

> I would love to know what type of things your T says to the people in his private life. I wonder how well-liked he is?

I don't know, but he has told me that he's pretty sure that he's going to have to pay for his daughters to go through therapy. Now I understand why!!!!

Blossom

 

Re: Blossom » Blossom

Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2005, at 12:44:37

In reply to Re: Blossom, posted by Blossom on July 2, 2005, at 18:28:44

lol. My therapist sometimes makes comments that lead me to be grateful he's my therapist/mommy, not my real father. He's got qualities that make him just right as my therapist, but I think he'd be a nightmare to live with.

 

Yes, no kidding.

Posted by Susan47 on July 3, 2005, at 13:19:26

In reply to Re: Blossom, posted by Blossom on July 2, 2005, at 18:28:44

I wonder if you might consider not letting him get away with any more comments of that sort. You might be doing a lot of people a big favour.. this man may be in real need of an attitude adjustment.


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