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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pegasus on June 20, 2005, at 8:51:54
Yesterday was a really hard day for me. My kitty, who is 19, is having a lot of health problems. I know it's to be expected in a cat that elderly.
And yet, she's been with me since she was a little kitten, and it's hard to face her decline.The problem that became urgent yesterday is that she can't really poop on her own in any regular way. We've been giving her subcutaneous fluids and a stool softener to help, but by yesterday, she was in pretty bad shape anyway. I'll spare you the details, but it was clear that we needed to administer an enema. The vet had shown us how a while back, anticipating this day.
So, my day was filled with extremely gross and heartbreaking activities. She was so sick she couldn't even fight me much. :(
But anyway it seems to have worked. I've cleaned her up (along with the entire bathroom - yuck!), and she's feeling and looking much better, although very weak.
And this is related to psychology, because, after it was all over, and she was drying herself from her bath, I kind of fell apart last night. Couldn't deal with anything. I had to do some serious dissociating to make it through the night (but I didn't SI!). So many unacceptable images from yesterday. And today I seem to have a case of the permanent heebie jeebies, and keep washing my hands when they're perfectly clean.
The one bright point, was actually also at the low point, when my husband was holding the (horribly stinky) cat in the bathtub and I was administering the enema, and the baby started screaming in the other room. My husband turned to me and said, "I love you" with a smile. It put the whole thing in a different, much needed, perspective.
But, oy, I hope I never have another day like that.
pegasus
Posted by happyflower on June 20, 2005, at 9:36:14
In reply to disgusting cat care (possible trigger), posted by pegasus on June 20, 2005, at 8:51:54
(((((pegasus))))) Oh what a horrible thing to go through, I would have fallen apart. What a great thing for your hubby to say. He sounds so sweet and understanding. How is your cat doing now? It is so sad when our pets become sick, it is like a member our family. Take care of yourself pegasus.
Posted by Shortelise on June 20, 2005, at 12:14:17
In reply to disgusting cat care (possible trigger), posted by pegasus on June 20, 2005, at 8:51:54
((pegasus))
I am so so sorry for you - and your cat!
It's that trap door my T talks about, one that we can fall through suddenly, without warning. Maybe most of us know it.
Anyway, pegasus, what a horrible ordeal. It's so so hard to do stuff like that.
As for your hands, could you try putting some nice lotion on them, and whenever you want to wash them, bring them to your face and smell the nice scent of the lotion?
It's a kind of metaphor, that hand washing thing.
I love your husband.
ShortE
PSI know your kitty is still with you. But she'll soon join the frolicking kitties in kitty heaven. When we lose a kitty, we go out and get a kitten. That might sound cold hearted, but it is done out of love. We love cats, and have found the only way to heal our brokens hearts when we lose one is to get another to love. It's not a replacement, it's an addition to all the cats we will have loved in our lives. Ok, this is really weird - I have two photo albums - only two - one of our wedding and another of our cats. We also have a box with zillions of photos in it, but only these two albums.
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 13:16:38
In reply to disgusting cat care (possible trigger), posted by pegasus on June 20, 2005, at 8:51:54
What a wonderful husband!
I think it was wonderful that you could put aside your feelings to make your cat more comfortable. There are a few doggy moments I've had to try to forget.
Give the cat a nice petting for me. And kudos to you for surviving without SI.
(Harry's daughter is getting oxygen today. My fault. I've been missing her medication. :( )
Posted by Tamar on June 20, 2005, at 15:31:23
In reply to disgusting cat care (possible trigger), posted by pegasus on June 20, 2005, at 8:51:54
Poor you! And poor kitty!
Good that your husband is such a sweetie, though.
Posted by Jazzed on June 20, 2005, at 16:41:57
In reply to disgusting cat care (possible trigger), posted by pegasus on June 20, 2005, at 8:51:54
> But anyway it seems to have worked. I've cleaned her up (along with the entire bathroom - yuck!), and she's feeling and looking much better, although very weak.I'm so sorry about all of this Peg. I'm sure it's been heart wrenching for you to watch your kitty decline. BUT, she has been so blessed to have such a wonderful mommy who would see her through so much, and take such good care of her even if she has to have such drastic measures.
You are a saint!>
> And this is related to psychology, because, after it was all over, and she was drying herself from her bath, I kind of fell apart last night. Couldn't deal with anything. I had to do some serious dissociating to make it through the night (but I didn't SI!).I'm sorry that you fell apart, but sounds like after all of that, it was called for. That's awesome that you were able to fight off the SI! You did great!
>
> The one bright point, was actually also at the low point, when my husband was holding the (horribly stinky) cat in the bathtub and I was administering the enema, and the baby started screaming in the other room. My husband turned to me and said, "I love you" with a smile. >
Awwww, that IS so cool! We should all have such wonderful hubbys!
Jazzy
Posted by Poet on June 20, 2005, at 18:38:35
In reply to disgusting cat care (possible trigger), posted by pegasus on June 20, 2005, at 8:51:54
Hi Pegasus,
I think you kept it together real well considering the circumstances. I'm glad that you didn't SI and that your husband is so supportive.
I had two diabetic cats, I'll spare the details, but let's just say when their blood sugar was high they let me know in a messy way.
Glad you and kitty made it through the crisis.
Poet
Posted by pegasus on June 21, 2005, at 4:13:40
In reply to disgusting cat care (possible trigger), posted by pegasus on June 20, 2005, at 8:51:54
Thanks so much everyone. I think it helps just to tell someone about it.
I did try the lotion thing, Shortelise, and it helped. Eventually I stopped washing my hands so much. But I still feel a bit dirty.
Today and tonight were a lot better for me, although I still cringe whenever I think about some parts of yesterday. The 12 hours between the first and second enemas were the worst, grossness-wise. I felt like our house was emanating big stinky waves out into the neighborhood.
The kitty is spending all of her time in her little cat nest. She comes out to eat and drink, but I just noticed that she's peeing right in her nest. I'll have to rearrange her litter box to be close and easier to get into. But if she doesn't start using it, I don't know what to do. Her fur is clean and feels better than it has in weeks, but I think that's because of the bath, not her own grooming.
Well, ok, if she stays in the nest and won't use the box, I guess I do know what to do. But I don't want to do it. When I was a kid, my dad had my cat put down without warning, because apparently the cat had started peeing on his desk at night and he got tired of it. So he just hauled the poor kitty off to the vet, and didn't tell any of us. When we finally noticed the cat hadn't been seen in a while, he casually mentioned that he'd had him put to sleep. I swore I'd never just off a cat because s/he was inconvenient to me. My kitty has been my buddy for 19 years. She's my first baby. But I'm at my wits end about how to care for her. And I'm afraid that the pleasant times in her life are over, except for the few times I can spare from my baby to pet her these days. I feel awful about it, because I think it's my fault, and I've let her down here at the end.
Sigh. I guess I needed to tell someone this, because I haven't yet worked up the nerve to talk to my husband about it. Oh, sad, sad, sad. :(
Thanks for reading. It does help.
pegasus
Posted by Dinah on June 21, 2005, at 6:13:40
In reply to Thanks all, and update, posted by pegasus on June 21, 2005, at 4:13:40
Sorry, Pegasus. I really am. :(
I've been there so many times with the dogs. Usually I'm the one that holds on longer than anyone else thinks is sensible or even fair to the dog.
I try to use quality of life. Once I can't remember the last time they've really been happy or content, I know it's best to let them go. You aren't hastening their departure any. If it weren't for your excellent and loving care, your sweet cat wouldn't have made it this far, or this comfortably.
Only you can know that of course, since animals vary widely in their ability to feel pleasure while also feeling discomfort or indignity.
I hope she turns the corner for you, and starts to feel better.
Posted by partlycloudy on June 21, 2005, at 7:18:01
In reply to Thanks all, and update, posted by pegasus on June 21, 2005, at 4:13:40
Please don't feel that you have let your cat down. You are giving her the best of care.
I agree with Dinah that (for me) it comes down to quality of life. How did my kitty feel about not being able to keep his coat all shiney and clean? How did he feel about not being able to stand on all four paws without falling over? Of course, the dang thing would run, not walk, in perfect fear, when brought to the vet.Please, please don't fret about whether you're being a good pet owner - of course you are.
(((pegasus)))
Posted by Jazzed on June 21, 2005, at 7:21:18
In reply to Re: Thanks all, and update » pegasus, posted by partlycloudy on June 21, 2005, at 7:18:01
> Please don't feel that you have let your cat down. You are giving her the best of care.
> I agree with Dinah that
>
I agree, and you have done so much more than most ppl would, and have been a wonderful mommy.
(((((hugs)))))
Jazzy
Posted by pegasus on June 21, 2005, at 17:51:23
In reply to Re: Thanks all, and update, posted by Jazzed on June 21, 2005, at 7:21:18
Well, thanks so much for responding, you guys. The kitty is about the same, although there is some evidence that she is becoming incontinent now. I've rearranged the litter box, etc. and she can get to everything she needs pretty easily. I'm going to give her a few days to see if she improves before I start considering anything drastic. The past couple of days she certainly is not having a good quality of life, but she is still eating, so she may get better to some extent still.
I just feel badly about not playing with her or sleeping with her, or petting her much these past months since the baby came. And I am the kind of person who always feels terribly guilty about not meeting everyone's needs. I just feel so selfish for not being there for her when she seems to be heading toward the end. Sigh. But I know I'm doing the best I can. I wish it was easier to know for sure when it's really best to put her to sleep. I don't want her to suffer. But she's my little buddy and it's hard to say goodbye.
pegasus
Posted by Shortelise on June 21, 2005, at 19:06:20
In reply to Re: Thanks all, and update, posted by pegasus on June 21, 2005, at 17:51:23
This is heartbreaking, Peg.
For your kitty to have lived 19 years is a testament to how well you've loved her and taken care of her!
I wish I could send more comfort, or come over and pet the kitty and love her lots.
I really like it that you love your cat so very much.
ShortE
Posted by AuntieMel on June 22, 2005, at 8:54:11
In reply to Re: Thanks all, and update, posted by pegasus on June 21, 2005, at 17:51:23
I went through the same thing - a couple of times.
It's so hard.
I took care of my babies until it was evident that there was pain involved. As long as they were "just" weak and incontinent I did all I could to take care of them and make them comfortable.
Both of them were very special - they had always been there when I needed them. Always knowing when I needed a friend and comforting me. I felt I owed it to them to take the best care I could of them when they needed me.
You will know when it's time. If you have doubts, then the time is not here.
Posted by pegasus on June 23, 2005, at 9:04:43
In reply to Re: elderly kitties » pegasus, posted by AuntieMel on June 22, 2005, at 8:54:11
Thanks everyone. I think that's what I needed to hear. Auntie Mel, I especially appreciate your comments about knowing when it's time. It helps me realize that today it is not yet time.
The kitty is moving around a bit. Still eating and drinking. Not pooping on her own, and peeing in her bed. But she loves it when I come to pet her. I'm still hoping there may be a few good weeks left for her.
It's a challenge to take care of her, with the baby and all. But I feel like I owe it to her after all those years of being such a good kitty.
pegasus
Posted by spalding on June 23, 2005, at 10:34:19
In reply to Re: elderly kitties, posted by pegasus on June 23, 2005, at 9:04:43
pegasus, I wish you love and peace during this time. Like AuntieMel, I've been through it a couple of times and I so, so know what you are going through. Yes, your 19-year-old precious cat is here because of the love you have given.
I just lost my dear, dear kitty on Sunday, after having been with us for 14 years. My emotions are still all over the place, so I hope I make a little sense here. After a few months of difficulties -- low appetite, anemia, pancreatitis, a vague kidney problem -- I was encouraged over the last month because she was back to her sweet, wonderful self, running around. She was fine on Saturday and then just crashed, probably because of her heart. It was definitely her time...and yes, you will know in your heart when enough is enough.
Both my T. and my pdoc have been wonderful. Ironically, I am going through a lot in therapy right now but I haven't shed a tear in sessions. But with my kitty, I have been sobbing. Funny how that is.
Again, love to you.
spalding
Posted by pegasus on June 25, 2005, at 12:17:44
In reply to Re: elderly kitties, posted by spalding on June 23, 2005, at 10:34:19
spalding,
I'm so sorry about your kitty. I can understand the sobbing. I'm going to be an emotional wreck when my kitty finally passes on. It's like losing a child, except most people don't understand how hard it is. I hope you have lots of beautiful memories of your kitty.
And I do like the idea of honoring the lost kitty with photo albums and getting a new kitty. You can't really replace them, but I also can't imagine having a catless home.
(((spalding)))
pegasus
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