Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 490990

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Why Insurance is like Jury Duty

Posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2005, at 15:01:17

Because the both require you to have $$ discussions with your therapist.

I have been called to Jury Duty for the month of June. I need to go on 4 Mondays when they pick the juries for the coming week. Then I only have to go if I get picked for a particular trial. So each week, at the beginning of the week I'll know what my schedule is for that week.

I have concerns about whether I would be able to concentrate long enough, remember enough, handle the stress etc. But I can work things out by getting a Dr. note that limits the lengths of trials that I can be on, says that I need to take notes etc. So I think that I can limit it to something I can do.

And then there is therapy. Clearly I can't miss therapy for a month. But I probably wouldn't need to. On average, people serve on 1 or 2 trials that last 2 or 3 days or so. So that would be in addition to the 4 days for jury selection. Total 9 days or so over a month's time. Of course, I have therapy on Mondays - so I know that I will miss those sessions. My other therapy sessions are on Thursday and Friday. So, at least I could give him pretty good notice.

We both want to be sure that I get *some* therapy. None would not be a good idea. But he has a problem with just going week to week. His practice is mostly long term clients, so his schedule is pretty set (and full). Let's say he sees 30 clients a week (he does other things on Wednesday). Since I see him 3/week, I am 1/10 of his case load. If I disappear for a month, that is a significant chunk of change for him.

I said that employers have to let employees go to Jury Duty, and that costs the employer - so if he can't fill my hours that this is a business cost of supporting the government. He doesn't want to eat the empty hours. I don't want to pay for hours when I'm not there. His cancellation policy says 72 hours. For the Mondays, I am giving him over a month's notice, I could give him 60 hour notice for Thursdays, and 84 hour notice for Fridays.

We are both aware that there are therapeutic reasons to do the Jury Duty and to not do the Jury Duty. Keeping those separate from the financial reasons is difficult.

He goes on vacation for 2 weeks - either the last 2 weeks in July, or the last week of July/first week of August (he hasn't decided yet). It is possible for me to postpone my Jury Duty to July, so that he would be on vacation (and not expecting my money) for possibly 2 weeks of my Jury Duty. But I'm a little concerned about me doing something stressful and new while he's on vacation. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I'm taking 2 sessions off in a couple of weeks to go to a Library conference, and the one right after that for my daughter's college graduation. So all he's hearing from me these days is that I'm panicking because the insurance won't pay for 3/week, yet I won't be coming.

I don't have to go to the conference, but since we are talking about me going to Library school, this seems like a good test run. I am staying an extra day to go to my daughter's boyfriend's graduation, too (and I could shorten that trip and miss one less session if I needed to).

Who eats the cost of Jury Duty?

 

Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on April 28, 2005, at 15:42:37

In reply to Why Insurance is like Jury Duty, posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2005, at 15:01:17

He does.

I understand he has a business, but...

he does.

 

Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » fallsfall

Posted by mair on April 28, 2005, at 16:47:03

In reply to Why Insurance is like Jury Duty, posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2005, at 15:01:17

I agree with Dinah although I'm not sure it's the legal equivalent of allowing your employees paid time off. Jury duty probably won't eat up that much of your time because cases end up settling all the time although sometimes you don't find that out until the night before the trial. In this regard, you probably don't want him scheduling something else in your time slot because things may open for you.

I have a friend who is a T who got summoned to jury duty. She was obviously concerned about not being available to her patients. I helped her formulate a letter to the judge which got her no where. Some judges are pretty tough about ever letting anyone out. Tell your T this is no different than if he got called for jury duty. The judge wouldn't let him out just because he was going to lose a bunch of income.

mair

 

Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty

Posted by daisym on April 28, 2005, at 19:57:02

In reply to Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » fallsfall, posted by mair on April 28, 2005, at 16:47:03

The other issue here is how we schedule our lives around our therapy. Therapy is supposed to help us live full lives, not interfere with living that life. But it gets so complicated. I'm lucky that my therapist is not only flexible but good with phone sessions, so I can (sort of) change when I need to. But I resent the hell out of anything that gets in the way of my therapy.

If it were me, I'd reschedule for when he was going to be gone. It would solve several issues and actually might help the time go faster. Since it won't be related to you personally, the stress might be minimal.

All that said, I agree with Dinah. You are giving him lots of notice so he has to deal with it. *sigh* like you don't have enough to deal with!

 

Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2005, at 21:58:52

In reply to Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2005, at 15:42:37

I'll tell him you said so (well, maybe I will)...

 

Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » mair

Posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2005, at 22:04:46

In reply to Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » fallsfall, posted by mair on April 28, 2005, at 16:47:03

He is a bit arrogant. He told me that if he were called for jury duty that he wouldn't be able to serve because his patients need him.

I'm not really sure how much he knows about how the real world works.

I guess at this point I'm hoping we can change Mondays to 5PM, and Thursdays to 8AM (as long as I don't have to be to court until 10), and Fridays we'll do if I'm not in court. So I'll pay for Mondays and Thursdays (even if I don't get to go on Thursday because I haven't given him 72 hours notice), and I'll pay for Fridays if I'm not scheduled. At least that's what I'm thinking now. So in order to get his business he will have to be flexible a little (he doesn't usually have 5PM sessions, but he said we could talk about it - and his Thursday 8AM seems flexible about switching with me).

I really don't want to miss therapy. And I don't want to argue with him about money.

 

Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » daisym

Posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2005, at 22:09:36

In reply to Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty, posted by daisym on April 28, 2005, at 19:57:02

He's going to push hard for July, particularly when I tell him that it seems easy to get it postponed a month. I wonder if I could encourage him to do the two weeks in July for his vacation if we do that.

But I'm a bit worried about going into a completely new environment while he's on vacation. His vacations are hard enough without me being in a more stressful place than usual.

But also when he hears that the June stint is actually 5 weeks, but July is 4 weeks, that will probably seal the deal. Unless I can convince him that it is therapeutically risky... I would have 2 weeks of Jury Duty before he left, so if it looked like it would be too much, he could excuse me from the rest. But how could I "prepare" for his vacation if I'm not getting to go to therapy??

Am I making this too hard?

 

Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on April 28, 2005, at 22:55:22

In reply to Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2005, at 21:58:52

I'm a significant chunk of change for my therapist, too. But I'm relatively sure he'd say that was for him to worry about, not me. If not, I'd grab his ear, remind him of the times he takes off with no regard for whether it's good for me, and ask him what it feels like in reverse.

Even so, it colors my perception of our dealings a bit. Does it sometimes feel like a combination of responsibility and power to you? Or cause you to wonder if that fact is ever in his mind when he deals with you, for good or bad?

 

Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty (nm)

Posted by fallsfall on April 29, 2005, at 7:09:45

In reply to Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2005, at 22:55:22

 

Success!

Posted by fallsfall on April 29, 2005, at 11:22:09

In reply to Re: Why Insurance is like Jury Duty (nm), posted by fallsfall on April 29, 2005, at 7:09:45

He liked my plan. We'll reschedule Mondays (hopefully). I'll pay for Thursdays, and he'll eat Fridays if I can't get there.

He didn't even try to talk me into changing it to July when his vacation is (I said his vacation is too stressful for me to add Jury Duty into it).

And he was able to show me that the difficulty in this situation was the emotional conflict - not my ability to think through the issues congnitively. It would be a significant step forward if I could believe that my reasoning was still intact.

Sigh of relief.

Thank you all for helping me think it through.

(And Dinah, I must have tried to post to you this morning, but I have no idea what I tried to say.....)

 

That's great! » fallsfall

Posted by Dinah on April 29, 2005, at 13:50:18

In reply to Success!, posted by fallsfall on April 29, 2005, at 11:22:09

You two are wonderful at working things out so that you both feel comfortable with them.

 

Re: Success!

Posted by daisym on April 29, 2005, at 23:21:08

In reply to Success!, posted by fallsfall on April 29, 2005, at 11:22:09

Sounds like you learned a lot. Emotional clouding is hard to get passed. I wish there was a pill for that!

I'm glad you were able to work it out.

 

Sounds like a good plan. Good for you! (nm) » fallsfall

Posted by gardenergirl on May 3, 2005, at 0:06:54

In reply to Success!, posted by fallsfall on April 29, 2005, at 11:22:09


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