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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on March 12, 2005, at 11:59:35
i posted a similar message on the meds board but wanted to duplicate it hear cuz i don't know if this incidence is med realted or just need more therapy!
i was put on zyprexa while i was in the hospital about two weeks ago. i was on it a year or so ago at 10mg and infact lost weight.but then went off feb of last year. this time i was put on 5mg and gained about 8lbs in this 2-3 week time. i took myself off it about 4days ago and last night while i was painting it was about 1/1:30 i suddenly got this INCREDIBLE urge to cut off my left hand.
-now you all here know i have a history of SI. so i did end up using some boning shears and cut slightly but i had to really fight hard not to go further. i wanted to use those to literally crack through my wrist! what the h@ll is wrong with me? it's weird to say but i REALLY wanted it off-it was the act of cutting it off i wanted, not the end result.
-now thinking about precipiatators, there was something that popped into my head that was unpleasant right before this happened but i don't get the relation to my hand? could some weird memory/thought cause such an urge or could this be med related?
i told myself not to move from my chair...i turned up the music a bit and just sat there for a while...after about 1/2 hour and after little SI the urge slowly lifted.-is this a weird reaction to going off the meds,
-is it something i would have had but since i went off they came back?
i like my hand. using it today to type (trying to laugh about it)...why would i want to do this?
d@mn that urge was strong...thinking about it today it's really scary cuz i REALLY WANTED to do this?? what if i had? why are these feelings SO INTENSE!I know i'll mention this to new T but should i mention it to pdoc??
b2c.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 12, 2005, at 19:21:05
In reply to off one med....SI ocd/urge? * *trigger**, posted by B2chica on March 12, 2005, at 11:59:35
Good for you for getting through it! I'm sure it was very very hard. It sounds like it was very intense.
I would definitely tell your pdoc. I think the more brains on it, including yours, who know you and are working on the problem, the better.
As far as interpreting it, I think that's best left for the professionals. But do also tell them the thought you had, even if it seems disconnected.
Keep doing what's working. You are going to make it. And I'm ever so glad about that. :D
gg
Posted by fallsfall on March 12, 2005, at 21:36:58
In reply to off one med....SI ocd/urge? * *trigger**, posted by B2chica on March 12, 2005, at 11:59:35
There was a time a couple of years ago when I found myself in the process of SIing (in a more serious way than my normal picking). Literally, I had no thought to do this thing (ever in the past), and it was one of the most impulsive things I have ever done. Scared the pants off of me! Sent me to the hospital because I was scared that I was no longer in control.
After much discussion at the hospital, we figured out what my biggest problem was. And we figured out that there was a connection between the problem and the situation where I SI'd. I hadn't seen the connection, so the SI seemed completely random to me. I felt much better when I could see that there was a connection, so I could at least understand why I would be so distraught at that time.
Am I making any sense?
The bottom line is that what you described sounded a bit like my incident. And you say that something popped into your head just before that. Based on my experience, a momentary "pop into your head" is enough - in my case the "pop" was so subtle that I didn't even know it had happened!
Please try to talk with your therapist about the issue that popped into your head.
Good luck!!
P.S. If I didn't make any sense, Babblemail me and I'll give you more of the particulars so it will make sense. I don't want to describe the SI on the board...
Posted by cubic_me on March 13, 2005, at 7:46:11
In reply to off one med....SI ocd/urge? * *trigger**, posted by B2chica on March 12, 2005, at 11:59:35
Like the others said, it sounds like there is something underlying what happened. Well done for getting through it [relatively] unharmed - you have strong will power.
I don't know whether it is meds or something else - maybe something that was already inside but that the meds were helping to suppress. Definately something for your pdoc to know about. Why is it that you are coming off the med? Weight gain? Some meds have worse weight gain at a lower dose, so it might be worth going on the higher dose straight away if that worked before. I've had severe weight gain on remeron, and despite it's great effects on my depression, I really didn't want to stay on it, so I can understand your dillema.
I've had similar, seemingly inexplicable SI urges that are more severe than what I normally do. I have no idea why those particular things come in to my mind - I've never really thought about it, but maybe it is worth thinking about. Hmmm...
Posted by rubenstein on March 14, 2005, at 10:13:36
In reply to off one med....SI ocd/urge? * *trigger**, posted by B2chica on March 12, 2005, at 11:59:35
>My meds were reduced this week and I not only had the worst panic attack of my life but I also SI after being a month free of it. So I feel for you. I hope things are going better for you.
rachel
Posted by B2chica on March 14, 2005, at 15:19:16
In reply to Re: off one med....SI ocd/urge? * *trigger**, posted by rubenstein on March 14, 2005, at 10:13:36
almost feel guilty now...wish i had internet at home and could have read all your supports. last night the urge came again and i SI'd pretty bad. it was about 3:30 and i thought it best to go to the ER. i went and of course they saw that i just got out and readmitted me this was about 6:30 this morning (still haven't slept-but feeling suprisingly good).
anyway, they stitched me up and LUCKILY the pdoc on duty discharged me a couple hours ago. man i was panicking inside! thought i'd be in for another week and i get to really start therapy this week!talk about someone who shouldn't miss any sessions!well, i GREATLY appreciate all the support.
i'm fine (with a couple stitches). no major damage. and off to see my T. guess what we'll be talking about today.btw. i think i will see if i can up the dosage to 10mg of zyprexa...well i'll call pdoc today anyway.
Thanks ALL!
B2c.
Posted by Susan47 on March 14, 2005, at 17:02:30
In reply to Re: off one med....SI ocd/urge? * *trigger**, posted by rubenstein on March 14, 2005, at 10:13:36
Yes, tell your pdoc and your T and if you have to print off the first post on the thread that tells the thought processes and what you were doing when you felt like you wanted to cut off your hand. I'm glad you're okay.
This is the end of the thread.
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