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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 11:05:35
Well guys, I literally just got out of my meeting with the VP of student life. It did not go as well as I'd hoped. I am actually very proud of myself. I was confident, made direct eye contact, and spoke forcefully. The dialogue was pretty fast and intense. The assistant to the VP who's been helping me was there as well, but didn't say much. She had a big legal pad to take notes, but when I got up I noticed that she hadn't written anything.
The VP of student life is someone who I used to feel neutral about now, but now hate. She was pretty insincere and when I left the meeting it was pretty obvious that we had not reached any sort of common ground or agreement.
Basically she said that because of confidentiality, she could not reveal any details about my T's leaving. She said it was the end of a very long process that was certainly not abrupt. I said you have to understand that from the student's end, it WAS abrupt. She told me that my T had the option of continuing as a T at the university, and that she chose not to. I said that from how well I know my T, the offer must have been pretty bad if she left her clients so suddenly. And even though she chose to leave, the university did not fulfill its responsibility to give clients an ethical termination. She countered that by saying that I don't know all the details, blah blah blah.
Of course it was a little more civil than that, but that was the gyst. And that was that. I'm proud of the fact that I didn't concede, that I maintained that they were still wrong. I thought I had a lot of dignity and courage. What a horrible, shrewish woman she was. I was so full of righteous anger that I forgot to be scared. And I had all you Babblers with me there in spirit. I think I came across pretty intense and outspoken.
So now what...I don't know. A lot of my anger comes from feeling so incredibly helpless against the system. I don't know what to do with it. Guys, I'm so tired, and even though I was pretty forceful in my meeting, I just want my T back.
Posted by annierose on March 7, 2005, at 16:37:41
In reply to My Meeting, posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 11:05:35
Good Job! I know it must of been hard, but at least you put your opinions out there, and they listened to the client's side of the situation. Being in management myself, I do think there is more to this story than your therapist told you. Obviously, the University doesn't want T's to end their relationships in the manner it happened. Something HAD to happen for this situation to evolve. And unfortunately, it doesn't appear like you will ever know the scope of the entire set of circumstances that lead to this. It's crummy, to say the least. And I would be in a heap of tears if I received that phone call. My heart goes out to you. BRAVO for arranging that meeting. Did you ever meet with another T yet?
Posted by Shortelise on March 7, 2005, at 16:42:14
In reply to My Meeting, posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 11:05:35
Posted by Dinah on March 7, 2005, at 17:30:55
In reply to My Meeting, posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 11:05:35
Well done!
Sometimes that's all you can do, but maybe your actions will affect how they handle things in the future, even if it doesn't affect this situation.
Has your therapist decided whether to go into private practice?
Posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 20:16:28
In reply to Re: My Meeting » messadivoce, posted by annierose on March 7, 2005, at 16:37:41
Thanks, annierose. Unfortunately, my university doesn't *care* how therapy relationships end. They just make asinine decisions without thinking. Such is administration. It has been said to me numerous times that my T's clinical skills were excellent, and her leaving had nothing to do with them. Apparently she wasn't valuable enough to them. They wouldn't know a good T if one bit them in the *ss.
Posted by annierose on March 7, 2005, at 20:41:31
In reply to Re: My Meeting » annierose, posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 20:16:28
Messa-
I beleive that too. Only the client knows the depths of our souls that our T's reach and help and hold for us. I hope your former T decides to go into private practice and you are able to see her again. I would be clueless on how to find another therapist after forming such an important relationship with mine. It's almost like trying to replace a mother.
Annierose
Posted by 10derHeart on March 7, 2005, at 21:57:31
In reply to My Meeting, posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 11:05:35
Hey there,
Sorry I haven't posted to you much on all this. I know silence can sometimes seem to mean something. Or maybe that's just me and my sometimes panicky-self, thinking people are gone, or hate me, or have been in accidents when I don't hear from them soon enough...oh dear, stop it, 10der.
I've been reading, though. Just can't seem to find a helpful word to say to you over this situation you so aptly described as a "bombshell" and a "mess." It was/is both.
You did so great. I'm so proud of you. As I've said like a broken record, you show maturity far beyond your years. I'm still unsettled at their cavalier attitude toward the entire concept of therapy. You just DON'T "set up" any T. to have to terminate people without any....well, without the termination phase happening, for heaven's sake! It's cruel and no matter what political, managerial, business or even personal cr@p happened, that was WRONG! It makes me so mad!!
Sorry - you've been down that road and I'm just playing catch up. I just pray that's it's more sooner than later when you start to see some light here, and at least a glimpse of some good coming from this for you personally.
Well, you've proved you can hold things together, go through all those stressful shows, school, memories and other stuff unknown to me...without a T. NOT that anyone ought to be forced to prove any such thing unless they choose it.
But, you know, your strength is really quite inspirational. And as my favorite T. once said, "your courage is remarkable." (((voce)))
Posted by daisym on March 7, 2005, at 23:44:40
In reply to My Meeting, posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 11:05:35
Posted by alexandra_k on March 8, 2005, at 3:02:37
In reply to My Meeting, posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 11:05:35
Well done you!
Management can be a bitch.
Yes oh yes they can.
Bet it came down to $$$
Overworked and underpaid
Lack of supportive colleagues
I don't know.
Just talking
Haven't been keeping up with your situation
(sorry)
But management can be a bitch.
Well done you.Can you see her in private practice?
Anyway you could get the uni to fund that as reperation or something...? Just a thought..(what happened to the automated asterisking??)
p*m p*ms
b*mbo
hmm.
Posted by Aphrodite on March 9, 2005, at 13:02:07
In reply to My Meeting, posted by messadivoce on March 7, 2005, at 11:05:35
I think what you did was awesome, and I am sure she had to reflect on what you said.
Do you have any contact with the former T now? I wonder if she'll go into private practice or somewhere else you may be able to see her. At least, could you ask her to help with a transition?
I'm sorry that you are going through all of this.
This is the end of the thread.
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