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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on March 7, 2005, at 18:12:04
I've missed your presence here. I hope you're off on vacation or something fun and my swiss cheese memory just doesn't recall.
Posted by daisym on March 7, 2005, at 23:42:48
In reply to Mair?, posted by Dinah on March 7, 2005, at 18:12:04
Posted by Dinah on March 8, 2005, at 0:16:45
In reply to Pfingstegg too? (nm) » Dinah, posted by daisym on March 7, 2005, at 23:42:48
But isn't this the time of the big wedding?
Posted by mair on March 9, 2005, at 12:34:31
In reply to Mair?, posted by Dinah on March 7, 2005, at 18:12:04
Unfortunately, nothing fun - just trying not to get mired any more deeply at work and trying to keep all those wonderful depressive feelings in check.
My father in law died last week, just over 4 weeks after my mother in law died. So my poor husband has had to make 2 funeral trips to Florida in just 5 weeks time. I didn't make it to the first funeral, but we all just got back from the second one. My father in law died last Wednesday night, and we flew to Florida on Friday. He funeral was Sunday afternoon, and we left pretty immediately, managing to roll back into our house at about 3 am Monday morning. Air travel in this country has become so awful, and finding hotel rooms in Florida in March almost impossible. Plus it's times like this that I really rue living in a place which is an hour and a half from an airport that is served by a major airlines.
Between my father's death last fall and that of my in-laws, it's been 3 deaths in 5 months. It's all been too much.
Mair
Posted by mair on March 9, 2005, at 13:06:57
In reply to Mair?, posted by Dinah on March 7, 2005, at 18:12:04
Posted by Dinah on March 9, 2005, at 17:13:28
In reply to Re: Mair?, posted by mair on March 9, 2005, at 12:34:31
You're right. That is too many deaths. :(
The ones in my life have brought me into what I believe might be my fourth bout of major depression. I'm not sure though. Do you think that might have been the trigger for you?
Posted by Dinah on March 9, 2005, at 17:14:30
In reply to I'm sorry, Mair., posted by Dinah on March 9, 2005, at 17:13:28
(How's your husband holding up? Both parents in that short a period of time! Unfortunately not all that unusual. I'm worried about my father in law. Not my mother, though.)
Posted by mair on March 9, 2005, at 18:44:24
In reply to Re: I'm sorry, Mair., posted by Dinah on March 9, 2005, at 17:14:30
It is pretty eerie how that happens with couples who've been together for a long time. I think his father felt that he had to keep himself alive to watch over his mother, because it was really pretty remarkable that he had managed to live as long as he did.
I think my husband is holding up pretty well, although it may be that he's just too busy right now to obsess about it. It was very draining and guilt provoking for him to try to manage their care from such a distance. I think in some ways, things will be easier for him now, although I heard him telling someone else that he had just gotten so accustomed to placing phone calls to his dad every couple of days - it seemed strange not doing that anymore.
He was so much of a better son to his parents than I was a daughter to my father when he was sick, or for that matter, than I am to my mother now. I hope he feels good about the way he stepped in to take care of them, even if at a distance.
Mair
Posted by mair on March 9, 2005, at 18:49:16
In reply to I'm sorry, Mair., posted by Dinah on March 9, 2005, at 17:13:28
My T thinks my father's death last fall was a big trigger - not at all in the same way your father's death affected you. She thinks it was somewhat devastating to me to discover that I really felt no sense of loss and that I was, and continue to be unable to tap into the sense of attachment I once had to him.
She did tell me the other day that my lack of reaction shouldn't surprise me since I've created so many defense mechanisms to keep me from allowing myself to feel close to other people. I suppose she's right - I just would have hoped for a little deeper, more heartfelt emotional reaction.
Mair
Posted by Daisym on March 10, 2005, at 10:33:47
In reply to Re: I'm sorry, Mair. » Dinah, posted by mair on March 9, 2005, at 18:49:16
I wanted to add my sympathies too...such a tough time for your family. Take care of yourself and I hope you are feeling better soon.
btw, I don't think it is unhealthy to protect yourself from ongoing emotional hurts. The fact that it branches out is unfortunate but otherwise you are a walking wound and get even more depressed. So pulling back makes sense.
Hugs from me,
Daisy
Posted by antigua on March 14, 2005, at 14:37:10
In reply to Re: I'm sorry, Mair. » mair, posted by Daisym on March 10, 2005, at 10:33:47
This is the end of the thread.
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