![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 9 to 33 of 35. Go back in thread:
Posted by antigua on December 16, 2004, at 15:37:53
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah, posted by toomuchpain on December 16, 2004, at 13:57:52
Posted by thewrite1 on December 16, 2004, at 15:58:10
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Posted by tryingtobewise on December 16, 2004, at 16:05:30
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Absolutely.
Posted by Poet on December 16, 2004, at 16:19:00
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Posted by pinkeye on December 16, 2004, at 16:42:41
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah, posted by toomuchpain on December 16, 2004, at 13:57:52
My prayers are with you too Dinah.
Posted by 10derheart on December 16, 2004, at 17:55:28
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah, posted by pinkeye on December 16, 2004, at 16:42:41
Posted by Skittles on December 16, 2004, at 18:16:58
In reply to God bless you and be with you, Dinah (nm), posted by 10derheart on December 16, 2004, at 17:55:28
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2004, at 18:22:06
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Please know I'm thinking about you and praying for you. Love, Laurel
Posted by gardenergirl on December 16, 2004, at 19:28:25
In reply to Dinah, my condolences, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 16, 2004, at 18:22:06
Posted by Racer on December 16, 2004, at 19:43:10
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Posted by crushedout on December 16, 2004, at 21:24:52
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Posted by lonelygal on December 16, 2004, at 21:45:34
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Posted by Dinah on December 16, 2004, at 21:52:07
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Awww, you guys made me tear all up. I'm afraid we needed those prayers. My mother in law died tonight - two grandparents in two? days for my son. (is it two? i lose track.) It's an unbelievable week.
My therapist has been pretty terrific. He did something that makes me feel for the first time ever that he really does care about me, Dinah, as a human being rather than as a generic client.
The next couple of days will be very very difficult. I wish I could just curl up in my therapist's office and never leave.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 16, 2004, at 22:18:18
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Dinah on December 16, 2004, at 21:52:07
Posted by lifeworthliving on December 16, 2004, at 23:08:29
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Dinah on December 16, 2004, at 21:52:07
nm
Posted by Poet on December 17, 2004, at 0:08:25
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Dinah on December 16, 2004, at 21:52:07
Dinah,
What a horrid week for you and your son. So much to cope with and so close to holidays.
Your therapist seems to be there for you, and as much as I can, I am, too.
Poet
Posted by daisym on December 17, 2004, at 0:37:09
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Dinah on December 16, 2004, at 21:52:07
I'm sorry about your mother-in-law. Give your husband an extra hug from "us". You've all been hit so hard.
I have always believed that God calls people home this time of year. It is such a holy time and a time that we recall fond memories anyway. What better time to remember our loved ones with candles and prayers.
That doesn't make this easy. I'm glad to hear your therapist is there for you and you feel it. Do you want to share what he did?
Hugs from me,
Daisy
Posted by Shortelise on December 17, 2004, at 3:35:51
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Dinah on December 16, 2004, at 21:52:07
Thinking of you and your family.
ShortE
Posted by Dinah on December 17, 2004, at 6:23:14
In reply to Re: A Prayer for Dinah » Dinah, posted by daisym on December 17, 2004, at 0:37:09
It's tough on my son, and it's tough for us to balance being supportive to each other while also feeling free to ask for support.
I'm starting to have some difficulties, and I think I'm going to have to assess what medication would be helpful, at least short term.
Daisy, I love what you said about the holidays. While I was feeling sad that neither had managed to hold on till after Christmas, that is a very comforting idea. I know this Christmas will be full of good memories of them.
What my therapist did was suggest that he was thinking of coming to the funeral. Since I didn't specifically answer him, I suppose he let the subject drop and hasn't raised it again. But the fact that he even considered it is something that will always make me trust that he does actually care about me, not just client #463, and that there is some of that third sort of caring that gardenergirl described. (GG, I still think in terms of that post. It has been so very helpful to me.)
Ugh. The funeral. I don't know how I'm going to manage that. I'm going to have to stay as far away from my mother as geography will allow. :( It's horrible that such an awful time is made worse.
Posted by Bent on December 17, 2004, at 6:55:44
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Posted by gardenergirl on December 17, 2004, at 8:48:08
In reply to It *is* a lot at once, posted by Dinah on December 17, 2004, at 6:23:14
Oh my goodness, Dinah. What an awful time. No one deserves to cope with so much all at once. I'm thinking of you and your family and sending out as much warmth and comfort as I can.
I'm so glad your T said what he did. What a gift. And I think it's absolutely okay for him to go if you think it will help.
Maybe you can maneuver yourself to be on the other side of the room in order to "efficiently" deal with the guests? Would your mother see through framing it that way?
Take care, sweet Dinah. We're here for you however you need us.
gg
Posted by Joslynn on December 17, 2004, at 10:15:49
In reply to A Prayer for Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 16, 2004, at 11:03:24
Posted by Daisym on December 17, 2004, at 10:23:35
In reply to It *is* a lot at once, posted by Dinah on December 17, 2004, at 6:23:14
Dinah, your therapist is awesome. I think it would be Ok to have him come, IF you can draw comfort from his presence. I know in the past you have said seeing him outside of his office makes you uncomfortable. Otherwise maybe setting up a phone call shortly after the funeral would help, if you can get some private space. You can tell him about it and draw support this way.
I agree with GG. Tell your mom you are going to take care of "this" or "that" and then attend to things away from her. Let your brother take care of mom.
(((Dinah)))
Posted by Dinah on December 17, 2004, at 16:38:04
In reply to Re: It *is* a lot at once » Dinah, posted by Daisym on December 17, 2004, at 10:23:35
He is pretty amazing, isn't he?
To be honest, I might well find his actual presence distracting. And I do prefer to keep our relationship within the sacred portals of his office.
But the fact that he suggested it really changed how I think he thinks of me. I think. :) I don't *think* he'd have thought of that in relationship to most of his clients (who are almost entirely 12 week to one year clients).
He said today that he didn't know if he could make it, and asked if I would be disappointed if he couldn't. I answered that no, I wouldn't be disappointed. I don't think I could bear to discourage him from ever bending the therapeutic frame again by telling him that I prefer the therapeutic frame unbent. Because to be perfectly frank, I like feeling cared about by him more than I like feeling comfortable at the funeral.
Sick, huh?
At any rate, next week, after he doesn't show up, I'll probably discuss with him how much it meant to me, and how it made me believe many of the things he's tried to tell me for the very first time. I don't think I'll mention that I'm sort of glad that he didn't show up. But it could be a big step forward in trust for me. Unless of course he answers that he offers that to all his clients. lol.
I did ask him if I could call him after the funeral. Because my MIL's funeral is Monday and Tuesday will be my first opportunity to see him after the funeral. Given the emotional toll this funeral is likely to take, Tuesday seems like forever. If he were still at his old office, I'd probably hint broadly for a special Saturday session. But his office appears to shut down on non-traditional-workdays.
Posted by Aphrodite on December 17, 2004, at 17:13:47
In reply to Re: It *is* a lot at once, posted by Dinah on December 17, 2004, at 16:38:04
Dinah, It literally took the wind out of me to hear that your mother-in-law had passed as well. My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family. I'm sure your son is having a hard time with the loss of 2 grandparents at once. How difficult for all of you.
And I think your therapist was so kind to offer to come to the funeral. I'm glad you now have solid evidence that you are indeed cared for as a whole human being. From your post, it sounds like it has been comforting and has had added depth to your relationship. I hope you can get some phone sessions in to keep up the contact and support as you get through this very trying time. I don't want you to lose this good feeling from your T -- you deserve it, especially now.
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.