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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on June 9, 2004, at 17:47:02
I know. I really am being silly, and I really do look forward with more hope with this one -- the whole situation is just so different from the LAST THREE -- but I'm still worried enough to mention it here. I know that I'm afraid I've built up so much expectation that no one can fulfill them, or that I'm hoping for a magic fix, when there isn't one, or any number of things, but I am building up worries about this. (I'm also worried about something else, which I am betting our marriage counselor has already given her a head's up on: It's so hard for me to start talking right now, and the withdrawal is so bad, that I'm afraid I'll look sullen to her. I think that's happened with the other agency, that they're seeing something that looks like sullenness, rather than recognizing it for what it is.) (Oh, and I'm also afraid -- based on how much I felt that they were treating me badly there -- that I was sullen, rather than miserable. I *think* it's just misery, but how am I to know?)
Anyway, I'm really just venting here. I am cautiously optimistic, and looking forward -- with great trepidation, but looking forward nonetheless -- to meeting her tomorrow morning. At least with this one, since I trust our marriage counselor, I have some faith that I won't be unsupported if it's another train wreck.
Can someone please scratch me under my chin, and see if I can still purr?
Posted by Dinah on June 9, 2004, at 22:35:35
In reply to Ugh -- worried about new therapist, posted by Racer on June 9, 2004, at 17:47:02
When is the appointment? I think it's totally natural and sensible to be at least a bit worried about meeting a new therapist. I was absolutely scared witless before meeting my EMDR and biofeedback therapists, and I already had a therapist so the stakes weren't really high.
Do you think you could view the worry the way you would view fall leaves drifting on a stream? That they are natural and will pass along soon enough (when you meet the therapist). I always liked that CBT/DBT technique.
And do you feel some excitement/anticipation as well? Getting a new therapist is like unwrapping a package. You might have a general idea what's inside but there also might be interesting surprises.
Posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2004, at 8:50:59
In reply to Ugh -- worried about new therapist, posted by Racer on June 9, 2004, at 17:47:02
There is so much at stake, so I can understand why you're nervous. I hope you can look at it as a new adventure -- this person may have insight that is just perfect for you. You can start over with a clean slate with all the knowledge you've had from your past experiences, and all those things you wish you had done differently you can choose to do or not do now.
Then again, if it's not right, you didn't get married. You can always keep on the adventure of finding what is right for you.
Let us know how it goes!
Posted by fallsfall on June 10, 2004, at 9:40:12
In reply to Ugh -- worried about new therapist, posted by Racer on June 9, 2004, at 17:47:02
I hope that you can tell her what you have told us. I really think that if you put these things out in the open (rather than just waiting to see if your fear "comes true") that you can learn a lot. You can learn why you have the fear. You can be more honest about the signs that you see - and verify if those signs are true, or if you (like me...) "see" things that aren't really meant by the other person.
Sometimes just putting it all on the table and seeing what happens really works. The added benefit is that if the relationship isn't going to work, this is one way to find out sooner rather than later.
Your fear is not very unusual - I'm sure that she won't be taken back by it.
Good luck
Posted by pegasus on June 10, 2004, at 10:41:09
In reply to Re: Ugh -- worried about new therapist » Racer, posted by fallsfall on June 10, 2004, at 9:40:12
Good, good, good luck Racer. I hope this one is exactly what you need. It is definitely tough to go through therapists, and especially to anticipate a new one with all the hope and fear that can go along with that. I agree with Fallsfall's advice about putting it all on the table. And I send you many wishes for strength and clarity, so that you can handle whatever this T is like.
pegasus
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