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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by philthethrill on October 27, 2003, at 20:03:47
If anybody is bothered by that last post that just said hi, it was because I was seeing if I could post or not. Anyways, I have been taking Effexor for a year and I'm ready to stop taking it. I started on 1 in the morning and then I went on to 1 in the morning and 1 at night. I then increased the dose to 1 in the morning and 2 at night, and then I went on to 1 in the morning and 3 at night. I've been tapering off every day because I was getting drowsy. I'm now down to 1 pill and am ready to stop but my dad won't let me until I see my psychiatrist on November 18. What would you do if you were me?
Posted by deirdrehbrt on October 28, 2003, at 8:55:52
In reply to I would like to get off Effexor but can't, posted by philthethrill on October 27, 2003, at 20:03:47
Hi, Philthethrill,
This thread will probably be redirected to the meds board, but I think that it is just as much, if not more, about you and your father.
Obviously, no-one here knows the dynamics between you and your father, although I think I could safely assume that you did experience some sort of crisis that caused you to see a psychiatrist.
I think that your Dad wants you to be safe, and I think that he assumes that continuing your meds will help that.
You should also know that many meds have short-term side effects; side effects that will last for a number of weeks. Also, many meds will take a number of weeks before they begin to work.
You also didn't mention whether or not you are seeing a therapist, or if you did, I failed to see it. For most people, a combination of talk-therapy and medication work better than either alone.
Meds aren't a magic thing that cures everyone, and neither is psychotherapy. I think that for either of these to really work, there needs to exist a strong desire to get well. That desire comes about through the realization that one is in need of healing.
To be completly honest, it sounds to me that your Dad wants to keep you safe, and he is afraid of what will happen if you stop your meds. The only time that I ever stopped without the co-operation of my psychiatrist was when I was heading down-hill. I only did that once.
If I am having a problem with the side-effects of a med, I will thell the prescribing physician about it. If it is severe, and the next appointment is far off, I will call their office. I have always given meds a chance to work though.
I hope that I don't sound to preachy, but I want you to know that if you have been on effexor for only a short while, that you don't really know how it will work, and you don't know that the drowsiness won't pass. I'm on 300mg of effexor per day, and it does work for me. I am also on a number of other meds, and together they manage to keep me out of the hospital, or worse. I do still crash at times, but it would be much much worse without them.
Please take care of yourself, and don't rush to decisions that can cause you trouble.
Love,
Dee
Posted by helenag on October 28, 2003, at 14:24:58
In reply to Re: I would like to get off Effexor but can't, posted by deirdrehbrt on October 28, 2003, at 8:55:52
I am new to this board and need someone to answer me. Have had the same pdoc for over three years. Have had quite a history with him; five hospitalizations. I am diagnosed depression/GAD and also have history of substance abuse. Its the alcohol/substance abuse that interfered with mental health treatment and led my pdoc to tell me that unless I went to treatment, he would not doctor me anymore. Long story short, I am on a good mix of meds and doing better. However, after several weeks of clean time, I have had a drink on a few occasions, never more than one or two. My job is very stressful and my situation at home is also very stressful right now. I have an appt. with the pdoc next week and am very conflicted as to whether or not I will tell him about this. I haven't told a soul thus far. My fear is that he will throw my file at me and tell me to get the hell out, and I am very attached to this man. Emotionally, I am doing relatively okay, except for being rather stressed out and high-strung from all the work. I spent most of the summer in the hospital(in and out) and was an emotional wreck. Most of that was depression and then a bad case of mania brought on by drug reactions. To be honest, I am going through my days because I have no alternative right now--it's either that or go nuts. I've been nuts, and its no fun. Actually, I think I am living on a moving sidewalk. I'd love to walk into the pdoc's office and say all I want from him is for him to hold me. That's all. So, what do you think??? I'm afraid to tell him the truth of my condition. please respond. helen.
Posted by LynneDa on October 28, 2003, at 17:12:39
In reply to please answer, posted by helenag on October 28, 2003, at 14:24:58
Helen - I'm new to posting too, first time on this page. Anyway, I've not been in your situation exactly, but have been in therapy off and on for many a year! You have to be honest with him. He will not throw you out! He cannot help you unless you tell him where you are. It's like doing your kid's homework for them and then getting mad at the teacher cuz your kid hasn't learned anything. Therapists are only as good as the info. you give them. Please trust yourself that you have made great strides and are doing better. Don't be so hard on yourself for slipping a bit. You can do it, don't give up - give yourself another chance, okay?
~Lynne
Posted by LynneDa on October 28, 2003, at 17:27:51
In reply to I would like to get off Effexor but can't, posted by philthethrill on October 27, 2003, at 20:03:47
Phil - I think the consensus of most posts I've read on these boards is that you should never go off meds without talking to your p-doc first - withdrawal symptoms can be hell. Your doc can assess your condition, reason you through why you want to go off of them and determine whether the side effects from withdrawal will precipitate a relapse into whatever started you on meds in the first place. It's probably best not to do this without calling your doc first and telling him the drowsiness is making you uncomfortable. Brain chemicals are tricky things :-) Hang in there and good luck!
~Lynne
Posted by fallsfall on October 28, 2003, at 17:39:20
In reply to please answer, posted by helenag on October 28, 2003, at 14:24:58
Please tell him. He can't help you if he doesn't know what is going on.
Posted by helenag on October 28, 2003, at 21:00:56
In reply to Re: please answer » helenag, posted by LynneDa on October 28, 2003, at 17:12:39
yes, I know honesty is the best policy...as I sit here, I feel like a slime ball. This is an area that my pdoc and I have gone around and around about since we have known eachother. However, whatever caused the mental problems was not the booze because I had months long where there was no drinking and even when I was, it was only one or two and it was sporadic. He would tell me that I wasn't accepting the fact of being alcoholic and that was causing conflict within me (to a point that is true)
If I tell him, what I fear is that he will consequence me by returning me to some form of treatment part-time, refuse to see me again, or whatever.... I am left feeling like I am some sort of pathetic hopeless drunk, and I am not. In fact, the only time I had trouble with booze was when I had emotional mental trouble to start with.
I am rambling...and confused. thanks for listening. I don't dare tell anyone about this.
helen.
Posted by LynneDa on October 29, 2003, at 9:11:59
In reply to please answer/response, posted by helenag on October 28, 2003, at 21:00:56
> yes, I know honesty is the best policy...as I sit here, I feel like a slime ball. This is an area that my pdoc and I have gone around and around about since we have known eachother. However, whatever caused the mental problems was not the booze because I had months long where there was no drinking and even when I was, it was only one or two and it was sporadic. He would tell me that I wasn't accepting the fact of being alcoholic and that was causing conflict within me (to a point that is true)
>
> If I tell him, what I fear is that he will consequence me by returning me to some form of treatment part-time, refuse to see me again, or whatever.... I am left feeling like I am some sort of pathetic hopeless drunk, and I am not. In fact, the only time I had trouble with booze was when I had emotional mental trouble to start with.
>
> I am rambling...and confused. thanks for listening. I don't dare tell anyone about this.
> helen.Helen - Here's another thought for you. Your therapist is just one person. Even though he's helped you and been through so much with you, etc., he is just still one man in this world. What YOU think and know about yourself is the most important thing!!! If you know that you're not a *slime ball* and you think you're on the right track with the new meds you're on, then you go for it. A good therapist should know that guilting you is not going to help support you!
My ex is an alcoholic and gambling addict - and he doesn't drink all the time. It's an addiction and he controls it somewhat. He's also has Depression and OCD. He's on meds - sometimes. The drinking was a coping mechanism, escapism, etc. His guilt when he drank was enormous, so I understand that a bit.
It's up to you. Do you want to stop drinking all together or do you think you can get better and be a happy balanced person while still having a drink now and then. It is YOUR choice. If you know it brings you some sort of conflict, then you choose to get help to never drink. If you're not ready for that, then you need to keep working on the sides of your problems that you can effectively do something about.
Hope that helps a bit. Stay strong and do what you know is right for yourself. You will feel better in the long run!!
~Lynne
Posted by helenag on October 29, 2003, at 17:59:58
Thanks for answering. The alternatives you wrote were pretty much on the mark. I think the trouble for me comes in when therapists and my pdoc insist that any use of booze is dangerous to me. This sets up a huge conflict inside me and also doesn't do much for being honest with people. I still haven't decided what or how much to tell the pdoc. Tomorrow I see the therapist at the hospital. Don't know if I will say anything to him either. Have thought a lot about this since last night and am coming to the conclusion that maybe all this hassle isn't worth a beer or two anyway. again, thanks for your help. helen.
Posted by LynneDa on October 31, 2003, at 10:15:40
In reply to Re: For LynneDa, posted by helenag on October 29, 2003, at 17:59:58
Helen - Thanks for writing back. I didn't get back to this page for the last couple of days! It is good you can be honest in assessing how your therapist's condemnation of drinking makes you feel. That sets you a few paces ahead on dealing with this issue! It's hard to want to be honest when you are feeling condemned wholly and completely! How did your appointment go?
Posted by helenag on October 31, 2003, at 13:44:53
In reply to Re: For LynneDa » helenag, posted by LynneDa on October 31, 2003, at 10:15:40
Hi: I did tell the therapist and he seemed to think it was no very big deal; said lots of people have this trouble. He wants me to join a group therapy after care group to discuss my feelings surrounding alcoholism and why it is so difficult for me to accept it. He was very surprised that I was able to keep this from anyone for so many weeks, and he was more concerned that I hadn't talked about it with my sponsor ( a good friend) and said that doctors come and go. I haven't told my girlfriend because I don't have the heart to--she sure has alot invested in helping me and would get down on herself. And besides, what good would it do???
At least I can tell the pdoc that I am working on this with the therapist at the hospital. Am hoping that the weekend will give me a chance to reflect on things and break the pattern of using booze to relax after work--at least I am off this weekend. It has been a very stressful week at work to say the least.
I should probably be writing on the substance board, but it doesn't seem to have many folks on it. I have been in therapy many times, and it has helped with various issues over the years. I have become jaded, however. The last therapist I had was a great guy who talked too much. I was able to run circles around him and he really wasn't the therapist for me. The addiction therapist I have now is a quiet guy who is not easily rattled--I like him a lot. Isn't it funny how you always know what you have to do anyway and yet you don't do it till disaster comes??? peace, helen
Posted by LynneDa on October 31, 2003, at 13:55:24
In reply to for lynneDa, posted by helenag on October 31, 2003, at 13:44:53
Helen - I'm so happy to hear you told your therapist and it was no big deal! What a relief for you! You can be really proud of yourself!
I do believe that the feelings you have are pretty common to people deliberating about a substance abuse problem. You are not alone, that is for sure!! The idea that it takes a disaster or crisis to get you motivated is pretty typical human behavior :-)
In terms of your sponsor, isn't that what she signed on for - the ups and downs? It's not your job to protect her, but hers to choose what limits she needs to set - if she feels the need to protect herself. Don't go this alone, Helen!
In terms of drinking to relax, you can look at it as a habit and/or coping mechanism. Stay busy and use whoever you need to in order to get through the urges!
I'm glad you found a therapist you like and can trust. Therapy is a tricky thing. I don't know if it's ever cured me of anything, but it has helped me to recognize things in myself and given me some alternative solutions to really tough situations. The chemical side of depression, alcoholism, or whatever is even trickier though. Just work on the parts you can!
I'll be waiting to hear how your weekend went if you feel like sharing. Peace to you too, you deserve it!
~ Lynne
Posted by helenag on November 3, 2003, at 20:24:53
In reply to Re: for lynneDa » helenag, posted by LynneDa on October 31, 2003, at 13:55:24
Am so appreciative that you took the time to follow up with me! Had two calls this weekend. One from my sponsor and friend, another from a gal who is wondering why I haven't been at meetings. I did go to my women's meeting last night, and it did me a world of good to be with my lady friends. I've been going to this group (AA) for several years. It's a small group, mostly regulars, women around my age.
Am still having struggles...hoping that a return to regular meetings will help that. Perhaps my work schedule will smooth out this week and I won't be feeling so harried. It doesn't help, however, to be woken up several times a night with hot flashes and night sweats!!! Am tired a lot.
Thanks a lot for the correspondence. I go see the pdoc on thursday and group therapy on thurs night.
Here's an interesting question for you: I sometimes wonder about this. I have suffered from depression for so many years and also from bad anxiety as well. Now that I seem to be feeling better (moods don't flip around like they used to) it seems totally foreign to me. Sometimes I feel like I am in alien territory. Wellness is unknown to me and yes, scary. Does this ring a bell??
Helen
Posted by LynneDa on November 4, 2003, at 9:16:47
In reply to Re:for LynneDa, posted by helenag on November 3, 2003, at 20:24:53
Hi Helen - I'm happy to hear you are connecting with lots of support! I have a group of friends from high school and we get together every 6 weeks or so - been doing it for almost 25 years! I don't talk to them much in between times, but they are my touchstones and help keep me grounded. I'm so glad you're keeping in touch with your groups.
Lack of sleep makes it so much harder to cope under normal circumstances, let alone when you're under stress in several areas of your life! I take Melatonin almost nightly and that helps.
Your last statement rings very true to me!! I occasionally get these little feelings of panic or uncomfortableness in my own skin when I feel what is supposed to be *normal*. It's like I miss my depressed, bitchy, moody self - or I miss those ways of reacting? Maybe it gave me an adrenalin surge I needed that made me feel powerful or more in the moment than this sort of dull feeling I get sometimes from meds. Is it a form of grieving for the old self? I know I'm happier getting better, but it definitely seems foreign sometimes. I guess it's the old "take it one day at a time" thing - all change is difficult even if it's good change. I feel like I want to stubbornly hold on to some of my old ways. Very weird :-).
Hope you have a good day!
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