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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Greg on May 17, 2003, at 18:17:28
I've lost my old therapist of almost two years. He broke the bond of trust we had between us. I won't go into details here, but I just feel I can no longer trust him. I haven't been to therapy for several months and am feeling the need for it badly as I've had issues pop up that I don't know how to handle.
Here's the problem. I'm feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally bankrupt right now, and I just don't know if I have the strength to start all over with someone new. To have to tell my story again from the beginning seems all so overwheming. I, like so many of us, carry a lot of baggage. On one hand, I know this is something I need to do, on the other, I honestly just don't know if I can go thru it all again.
Has anyone been thru this before? Could you share with me how you handled it? Even if you haven't been, your thought or ideas would be so greatly appreciated. Many thanks and my gratitude in advance!
Greg
Posted by WorryGirl on May 17, 2003, at 19:24:31
In reply to See a new Therapist?, posted by Greg on May 17, 2003, at 18:17:28
> I've lost my old therapist of almost two years. He broke the bond of trust we had between us. I won't go into details here, but I just feel I can no longer trust him. I haven't been to therapy for several months and am feeling the need for it badly as I've had issues pop up that I don't know how to handle.
> Here's the problem. I'm feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally bankrupt right now, and I just don't know if I have the strength to start all over with someone new. To have to tell my story again from the beginning seems all so overwheming. I, like so many of us, carry a lot of baggage. On one hand, I know this is something I need to do, on the other, I honestly just don't know if I can go thru it all again.
>
> Has anyone been thru this before? Could you share with me how you handled it? Even if you haven't been, your thought or ideas would be so greatly appreciated. Many thanks and my gratitude in advance!
>
> GregHi Greg,
I know how hard it is to get a new therapist; I've been dealing with that issue for the past few months.I wasn't feeling connected with my old one, and was afraid to try something new. Yesterday, I actually picked up the phone and called the first therapist I had briefly talked to when we first moved to this city. I'd only had one session but she seemed OK. We moved far enough away that when I saw a therapist last year I decided that she would be too far to travel.
I am anxious about this coming week's visit. I haven't seen a therapist since October. Like you feel, I just didn't have the strength to start over, but I felt so bad lately that I did, and there is an immense feeling of relief.
Try this - call a pdoc that you've heard good things about, or get out the yellow pages and try something new. Yes, it's hard. I called and hung up about half a dozen times before I actually made the appointment, but the sense of relief was good when I finally did it.
Hopefully, once I go to my first session, most of my anxiety will be relieved.
Good luck!
Posted by Willow on May 18, 2003, at 8:31:17
In reply to Re: See a new Therapist? » Greg, posted by WorryGirl on May 17, 2003, at 19:24:31
Greg
So sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. Have you talked to your "present" therapist about the issues in your post?
I've come to the conclusion that my own psychologist works in a manner similiar to a lawyer. He weighs everything he says to me, not communicating anything in a manner that he feels I could take in a negative spin. Now in my opinion, this is a breach of trust on his part in not trusting me to handle issues. Odd thing is, I noticed this just as I'm typing this up, my husband talks in the same manner, thinks before he talks. Ugh.
What I was getting at before I started rambling was that perhaps this is just a normal growth process of the therapist relationship, putting it into prospective.
Your Friend
WILLOWps if you do decide on getting a new one, do like i suggested to cam, pick one of the opposite sex, deep conversations may be easier with them
Posted by Dinah on May 18, 2003, at 13:18:55
In reply to See a new Therapist?, posted by Greg on May 17, 2003, at 18:17:28
Hey, Greg. I've never been in your position, and I pray I never will be (although I suppose that's unrealistic of me). But I just wanted to congratulate you for being able to get past the breach of trust from your former therapist, and choose to form a relationship of trust with a new one. That takes a lot of courage.
Posted by judy1 on May 18, 2003, at 16:40:48
In reply to See a new Therapist?, posted by Greg on May 17, 2003, at 18:17:28
Yes, I have been in a similar situation. I also called a number of therapists and spoke to them on the phone before feeling like I 'clicked' with one (the good ones will usually spend 10 minutes or so to help you get a feel for them). As far as going over my history, I had the therapist speak to my prior therapist (despite the broken trust he/she should be able to give a reasonable history-with your permission of course- until you feel strong enough to delve into it). This worked well for me Greg and I truly hope it does for you. take care, judy
Posted by coral on May 19, 2003, at 12:05:37
In reply to See a new Therapist?, posted by Greg on May 17, 2003, at 18:17:28
Dear Greg,
Never went through it with a therapist, but certainly did go through it with a physician. His incompetence significantly worsened my physical state and emotional state at a time when I was very fragile. After a series of appts w/other average (at best)docs, I finally found a doc to help which he did through the depression. However, he's 150 miles away, and, after putting this off for literally years (4), I asked my therapist for a referral. The guy he referred me to is great.
I know how difficult it was for me to finally step up to the bar, just seeing a physician, and can't begin to imagine how difficult it would be if my therapist breached my trust. Have you asked your physician for referrals?
((((((((Greg)))))))))))
Coral
Posted by Greg on May 19, 2003, at 13:30:58
In reply to Re: See a new Therapist?, posted by coral on May 19, 2003, at 12:05:37
Great input everyone, thank you so much! It is still so overwhelming to me. It's like building that enormous house of cards only to have someone bump the table and have them come crashing down, and you have to start all over. Yes, he is well aware of my feelings of mistrust towards him, and he seems amazingly aloof about the whole thing. He really doesn't seem to care if I find someone else. Very out of character for him, he is usually very caring.
I know I need to do this, and I will. I'm finding myself in a very deep depression right now. I don't think in my current state I'd be the best judge of character. But I will get it done, and let you all know the outcome. Thank you so much again for your feedback!
Greg
Posted by noa on May 20, 2003, at 14:17:00
In reply to Re: See a new Therapist?, posted by Greg on May 19, 2003, at 13:30:58
Good luck, Greg.
Posted by noa on May 21, 2003, at 17:14:47
In reply to Re: See a new Therapist?, posted by Greg on May 19, 2003, at 13:30:58
One more thought: perhaps you can seek out some short term therapy to deal with the ending of your therapy relationship, the breach of trust, etc. Ie, just contract to process what happened, for a limited number of sessions. Then, you could decide from there.
I have a friend who was in a very toxic therapy situation and finally got out of it. It took her more than a year to get back into therapy. She just needed the time off after the bad experience.
This is the end of the thread.
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