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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 59 to 83 of 163. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on July 11, 2005, at 20:43:17
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:03:10
but yes, I feel pain. I imagine your pdoc feels pain.
I feel pain when people talk about suicide. I feel a lot more than mere pain when people imply that they would commit suicide or hurt themselves because of my actions or to make me happy.
I wish I could say I've never said that. I probably have. And no doubt caused my fair share of pain in my life.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 12, 2005, at 3:24:55
In reply to Re: I rescind my DNP request to JYL, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 18:47:18
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 12, 2005, at 3:34:24
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on July 11, 2005, at 20:01:33
> if it's not civil, and alex has been blocked before, why isn't she being blocked now?
Mainly because I thought she and Deneb worked it out. I'm sorry if that doesn't seem fair to you.
Bob
Posted by AuntieMel on July 12, 2005, at 8:30:07
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:03:10
There are people here who have had close friends or relatives who have taken their own lives.
Merely bringing up the topic can open wounds for them. It is far worse when it is a surprise.
Putting *trigger* in the subject line helps by telling them not to look.
Posted by crushedout on July 12, 2005, at 9:30:57
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil?, posted by Dr. Bob on July 12, 2005, at 3:34:24
I wasn't aware that if you "worked things out" with someone, you don't get blocked. Deneb didn't even mind what alex said. So if I post something uncivil to Dinah, and it doesn't bother her, and then we talk about how it's all good between us, you won't PBC or block me?
Posted by gabbii on July 12, 2005, at 11:28:43
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on July 12, 2005, at 9:30:57
Dr. Bob in a post to Toph, you said it really wasn't about whether or not posters worked things out between them, you'd P.B.C them anyway because it's a public board and you don't want other readers to have to be affected by it.
Posted by gabbii on July 12, 2005, at 14:16:29
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » crushedout, posted by gabbii on July 12, 2005, at 11:28:43
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2005, at 0:55:50
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » crushedout, posted by gabbii on July 12, 2005, at 11:28:43
> Dr. Bob in a post to Toph, you said it really wasn't about whether or not posters worked things out between them, you'd P.B.C them anyway because it's a public board and you don't want other readers to have to be affected by it.
Right, that's the other side, and balancing the two can be hard. Do you have a link to that post? I'd be happy to take another look...
Bob
Posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 22:12:33
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil?, posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2005, at 0:55:50
I tried to find it yesterday, but I'll look again.
Posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 22:19:32
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » Dr. Bob, posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 22:12:33
> is it not condescending for Bob to stop the discourse when both parties may not want his intrusion?
>
> TophOne issue here is that posts aren't just between two people. Posters can discourse however they like by email, but what they post affects the environment for everyone.
Dr.Bob
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050128/msgs/455033.html--
Posted by alexandra_k on July 14, 2005, at 9:55:16
In reply to Here is the link Dr. Bob, posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 22:19:32
the post
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442385.html
the block
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442432.html
Posted by alexandra_k on July 14, 2005, at 9:58:19
In reply to Re: Here is the link Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on July 14, 2005, at 9:55:16
Though it got going a bit before that...
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442290.html
and
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442316.html
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 15, 2005, at 23:03:38
In reply to Re: Here is the link Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on July 14, 2005, at 9:55:16
> > you said it really wasn't about whether or not posters worked things out between them, you'd P.B.C them anyway because it's a public board and you don't want other readers to have to be affected by it.
> >
> > gabbii> the block
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442432.htmlThanks for the links. I guess one factor is how uncivil the posts are. Does that make sense?
Bob
Posted by crushedout on July 16, 2005, at 10:25:14
In reply to Re: Here is the link, posted by Dr. Bob on July 15, 2005, at 23:03:38
For the record, Dr. Bob, it is my impression that alex posts things regularly that other people (myself included) get PBC'd or blocked for but for some reason you usually seem to let it go with her, and I'm perplexed by this injustice. I don't intend this to be uncivil (and I hope it's not) -- it's just my observation and I hope you will make a note of it, and be careful not to favor certain posters unfairly in the future (whether that means not PBC'ing or blocking so much, or PBC'ing or blocking favored posters more, it doesn't matter that much to me).
Note: I am not judging alex's posts negatively --just noting the differential treatment of objectively similar behavior. One example: with testing the vulgar language automatic filter -- she has often pointed out its deficiencies in ways that have involved posting vulgar language. When I did the same thing -- with a *very* innocuous term, I might add (crazy-*ss)-- I got warned. This was a while ago, but I remember it and have noted similar injustices since then.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 1:13:57
In reply to a complaint » Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on July 16, 2005, at 10:25:14
> I hope you will ... be careful not to favor certain posters unfairly in the future
I'm sorry if I've treated you unfairly. I've tried not to. Favoritism is often a concern in groups.
> I am ... just noting the differential treatment of objectively similar behavior. One example: with testing the vulgar language automatic filter -- she has often pointed out its deficiencies in ways that have involved posting vulgar language. When I did the same thing -- with a *very* innocuous term, I might add (crazy-*ss)-- I got warned.
The behavior was similar, but I responded differently before the filter was in place...
Bob
Posted by Deneb on July 17, 2005, at 9:53:05
In reply to Re: a complaint, posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 1:13:57
<snip> Favoritism is often a concern in groups.
Does this mean that you acknowledge that sometimes your responses are affected by favoritism?
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:30:22
In reply to Re: a complaint, posted by Deneb on July 17, 2005, at 9:53:05
My guess, since Dr. Bob is interested in group dynamics, is that it's a general comment. Perhaps something he read in "The Large Group Re-Visited: The Herd, Primal Horde, Crowds and Masses".
And something that I'm quite sure he keeps in mind at all times.
(By the way, Dr. Bob. I ordered that book and read a bit of it to gain a better understanding of you since you quoted it. It seemed a bit depersonalizing, you know?)
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:32:00
In reply to Re: a complaint » Deneb, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:30:22
Good heavens, look at the price of that book.
I assure you, Dr. Bob, I wasn't that interested in how your mind worked. I got it inexpensively used, I'm sure.
Posted by Deneb on July 17, 2005, at 10:42:48
In reply to Re: a complaint » Deneb, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:30:22
> My guess, since Dr. Bob is interested in group dynamics, is that it's a general comment. Perhaps something he read in "The Large Group Re-Visited: The Herd, Primal Horde, Crowds and Masses".
Cool. What role do I play here? The book is a little bit expensive for me. I wouldn't mind the price if it were something I was interested in, but I think it might get a little boring for me.
Have there been many people in the past who filled the role I play?
Who were they?
Deneb
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:47:03
In reply to Re: Group dynamics » Dinah, posted by Deneb on July 17, 2005, at 10:42:48
It doesn't go into that much detail, I don't think.
And it is rather dull.
Posted by Deneb on July 17, 2005, at 12:52:20
In reply to Re: Group dynamics » Deneb, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:47:03
I wonder what stage of development this community is at?
Are we growing and becoming enlightened and more supportive?
Or are we in a spiral towards stagnation and exclusion?
Deneb
Posted by gabbii on July 17, 2005, at 13:31:11
In reply to Re: a complaint, posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 1:13:57
>
> The behavior was similar, but I responded differently before the filter was in place...
>
> Bob
That was but one example though. A couple of months ago I offered to send you several examples of posts the would have recieved P.B.C's if the poster were someone else.
You did say "Let's see how things go"
Well before that Fallen4myT had the same concern, and Now crushed has brought it up.These are all completly independent observations
about the same poster. Do you think you could at least take a closer look and see if there is some validity to this?
I don't think we're all delusional, perhaps because I tend to stick to the same boards I just don't see how many other posters you let off the hook. I do know however that if I had said to someone it's like "talking to a brick wall"
I'd have been P.B.C'dI realize that the you've said the severity of the situations had influenced your response this particular time,(though I know Susan47 certainly wasn't given any breaks after she used a**)
I would think that eventually frequency of occurence should affect your response too.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 17, 2005, at 15:52:50
In reply to a complaint » Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on July 16, 2005, at 10:25:14
I find it interesting that certain people seem more interested in getting me PBC'd / blocked than in supporting posters getting along with one another so intervention by administration is not required.
This used to really bug me.
But I've decided its just not worth it to me.I find it rather ironic considering what these same people would prefer Lou to do instead of requesting for determinations.
And it's rather ironic considering that these same people resented administration intervention with regards to certain other posters (e.g., Larry Hoover).
Posted by alexandra_k on July 17, 2005, at 15:58:27
In reply to Re: a complaint, posted by alexandra_k on July 17, 2005, at 15:52:50
Completely independent observations are not obtained when people chat to one another off the boards. And they are not obtained when people read what other people have to say and see how I respond to them before deciding to agree.
I'm well aware that some people would prefer it if I wasn't here.
This used to really bug me...
But I've decided... It's just not worth it.
If people have a problem with me...
Then leave me alone.
I can extend the same courtesy in return.
Posted by 10derHeart on July 17, 2005, at 16:41:08
In reply to Re: a complaint, posted by alexandra_k on July 17, 2005, at 15:58:27
((Alex)) I'm VERY glad you're here.
I'm very glad the other posters/people you refer to are here, too.
Very, very glad you're all here.
You're all so different, wonderfully articulate, sensitive, smart, observant, logical...and so much more...
I feel like I'm at a celebration of the best of the best many times on Babble.
I am honored just to be in your company.
I think maybe....it's bits of all those traits that bring out such passions to defend free speech, fairness, equality, etc. As well they should, I suppose.
Like someone (Dinah...I think?..) wrote recently...the qualities we admire and love the most in people seem to have flip sides....and can also be the qualities we "love to hate,"...or at least that irritate the cr*p out of us at times!
Just some ramblings....wish I could say something more insightful or helpful :-(
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