Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 1117847

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

'cruel compassion'

Posted by Christ_empowered on December 18, 2021, at 18:44:18

it's from an essay or...somethig...by Szasz. I've mostly given up on reading Szasz these days, because...I'm living it, lol. every.single.day :-)

OK. So, now, my community-wide (and, by extension, more or less my social-wide label) is "Schizophrenic." ugh. my own -personal- situation in living with the label of "Schizophrenia" is frustrating, at times, but not at all terrible...because of my family. If it wasn't for my family, it'd be unbearable. true story.

so...cruel compassion. In general, it means "oh, he cannot help it; he has SCHIZOPHRENIA," on and on. of course...how the labels play out in each individual's life will differ, based on: age, gender, social class, and all sorts of other factors that...wait for it, wait for it...affect everyone's experience of life ("social location") everywhere, all the time. :-)

but my situation? some neighbors openly taunt (talk about me, loudly enough for me to overhear...but not to or with me... me with "he should be in the STATE HOSPITAL," stuff like that. and the thing is...

there's not much of a long term state hospital left, these days. a big part of it was gutted as part of the latest phase of "the recovery model" (read: heavy drugging, state subsidized poverty...in the community...), so that's not a major concern. my "symptoms" are vastly improved, which I attribute to family reconciliation, much improved living situation, and better overall health..

but that's often not the point, is it? even in the 21st century? the former private practice "providers" wanted money and money and power and control...but now the mix of factors have made that difficult for them to achieve. the current community/public health providers seem professional enough, at least...to my face...

but I get taunted -at the clinic- and its become abundantly clear that labeled pariahs need not expect privacy, confidentiality, etc. Fun fact: I was getting gas in my parents' small town the other day, and some angry-sounding lady literally yelled out the name of my "atypical." yup. filling up my gas tank, some lady yells out "ABILIFY!," and I'm just..

ok. wow. did I mention that I'm considered a "trouble maker" ? long, long story...everyone has one...

the "trouble maker" aspect is what has made me fear the possibility of commitment, but...in my particular case, it seems it would take a whole, whole lot for that to happen...

which probably explains the ongoing, open animosity towards me. cannot have me evicted. cannot have me committed. the former private practice people cannot get money from my family or me. and so...

-this- . beats any alternative my community has for me, no doubt, but...

ugh. what's the point of never ending "treatment," again? I'm wondering...

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Lamdage22 on December 19, 2021, at 3:01:40

In reply to 'cruel compassion', posted by Christ_empowered on December 18, 2021, at 18:44:18

How are you a troublemaker? Im not sure if people are talking about me that way. If you don't make trouble for 10 years, they may stop and forget to some extent. I haven't been bothering anyone for 10 years. I made some trouble in a medication induced manic/psychotic state, but 10 years ago.

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Lamdage22 on December 19, 2021, at 3:09:14

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by Lamdage22 on December 19, 2021, at 3:01:40

I can see it on my birthday, facebook: most people that congratulate have mental issues. I met them somewhere where we were being treated some way or hung out in a daycare facility. But I don't care. Their wishes are not worth any less than those of healthy people.

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by undopaminergic on December 19, 2021, at 5:48:49

In reply to 'cruel compassion', posted by Christ_empowered on December 18, 2021, at 18:44:18

>
> Fun fact: I was getting gas in my parents' small town the other day, and some angry-sounding lady literally yelled out the name of my "atypical." yup. filling up my gas tank, some lady yells out "ABILIFY!," and I'm just..
>

Could this actually be a hallucination?

During my (only) episode of hallucinations, I walked past some other patients on a psychiatric ward, and I heard one of them say "Azilect". Azilect is the commercial name of the drug rasagiline, which I had at home. I heard other comments from patients that seemed to pertain to me, but I don't believe this really happened... I must have been hallucinating, but it is interesting how the mind can copy the voice of real people. I also heard several voices of people I knew or had known.

-undopaminergic

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Lamdage22 on December 19, 2021, at 7:39:51

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by undopaminergic on December 19, 2021, at 5:48:49

That would be an explanation. If you find a way to tell what was real and what was not during psychosis, tell me.

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by undopaminergic on December 19, 2021, at 8:16:49

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by Lamdage22 on December 19, 2021, at 7:39:51

> That would be an explanation. If you find a way to tell what was real and what was not during psychosis, tell me.
>

Sometimes there is no fool-proof way to know. It's easy enough when there is no-one else around, but when there are people around and you hear things that seem to be in their voices, you just have to use common sense.

Once when I was taken to the usual hospital, people there seemed to be speaking Dutch or in a Dutch accent. Would that happen for real? I think not, not being in the Netherlands; I had just been listening a lot to a radio station from there. Sometimes I wonder whether alternative, parallel realities sometimes blend together seamlessly so that you can be (mostly) in the main reality, but with another reality mixing in so that you can hear things from it. This could be happening more frequently to psychotic people because of something to do with their state of mind.

-undopaminergic

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Lamdage22 on December 19, 2021, at 8:54:01

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by undopaminergic on December 19, 2021, at 8:16:49

Some people are not disturbed by their voices much and live a relatively normal life without medication. They know what is the voice and what is real and their voices dont get nasty. Others dont know what is real and the voices are mean and disturbing. -> Treatment! That is what I heard.

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Christ_empowered on December 19, 2021, at 11:07:32

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by Lamdage22 on December 19, 2021, at 8:54:01

"treatment" involves so much cruelty, though. its like...now, I'm not "playing by the rules," because I have a decent (modest, but surprisingly comfortable) lifestyle and such, and...

truth? for any number of reasons, all the psych industry had for me was (and is, it seems) the stuff that antipsychiatry literature is made of: stigmatizing labels, unending drugs, periodic confinement (preferably in a private ho$pital, for obvious rea$on$), and poverty, labels...

psychiatric slavery, basically. happens, it seems...I'm thinking, now that I've dealt with the snarky, cruel bullying at the clinic and seen some of the long-term people/"patients" (more psychiatric casualties than success stories, OK?), I'm kind of...

ugh. done, maybe? stick a fork in me, perhaps? The only reliable way to not have whatever the handlers/experts consider "symptoms" is to be medicated, which almost always involves a tranquilizer. the problem there is...

long(er) term data isn't so promising on the tranquillizers, and that is -the class- of psych drugs with the (supposedly) strongest evidence base. now? I skimmed over a meta-analysis, and the latest round of "experts" are saying that maybe, just maybe, appropriately labeled/diagnosed people who are matched to the correct tranquilizer for their condition can expect 2+/- years of improvement -on neuroleptics- vs without them, but...

ugh. 2 years? maybe a bit extra? really? I've already been prescribed a reduced dosage, largely because I've reached a point at which even aripiprazole -- which, if one can -tolerate it- is a less toxic, less hellish option -- was creating an extra layer of "symptoms." the reduced dosage is within the "prescribing range" or what have you, its just...far, far less over-kill.

my general sense of unease and looping thoughts have both given way to...normalcy? relative calm?

no eps, no td, mood is neither way down low nor revved up....etc, etc., etc. and yet...

really? now, I'm fairly certain I'm labeled, forever and ever amen, which...is not the worst situation, ever --for me and my own life -- , but not exactly "My best life" or...whatever. lol. :-)

I dunno. a hard part? church. no one wants to deal with a "high functioning, severely mentally ill" individual from my demographic, it seems. the "liberal" churches wring their hands over the plight of the "severely mentally ill..."

from a distance, of course. no one wants a reasonably well dressed, articulate, "high functioning" "mental patient" -in their midst- , and...

"conservative" churches? pshaw. get real. I had to, sooner than I had hoped. can't work, need to be committed...yesterday, ideally.

ugh. venting, etc. maybe there's a non-neuroleptic psych drug that will help me stay "high functioning" (ugh) and avoid all the pitfalls of long-term tranquilizer use?

psychiatry...can't live with it, society won't let me live without it. :-(

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Lamdage22 on December 27, 2021, at 12:12:52

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by Christ_empowered on December 19, 2021, at 11:07:32

Ever since I dont go to the psychiatrist anymore with every problem, psychiatry is alright. I found he cant fix it most of the time. When you complain all day, they are going to do all sorts of stuff to you. When you dont, you are free.

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Lamdage22 on December 27, 2021, at 12:14:44

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by Lamdage22 on December 27, 2021, at 12:12:52

Complain to other people. If psychotherapy is out of the question, go to a priest. Church community

If your parents are well of, you could work with suppolements with or without a practitioner.

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Lamdage22 on December 27, 2021, at 12:18:02

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by Lamdage22 on December 27, 2021, at 12:14:44

go out connect with the world. And hm. Maybe you still are a little psychotic. Not knowing what is real is a BIG problem.

 

Re: 'cruel compassion'

Posted by Lamdage22 on January 9, 2022, at 1:55:35

In reply to Re: 'cruel compassion', posted by Christ_empowered on December 19, 2021, at 11:07:32

What I notice is that advocates of the "its all brain chemistry" psychiatric/behavioral treatment approach are very unkind when they notice that you are not 100% behind that approach. They take personal offense.


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