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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on August 19, 2005, at 23:19:04
I am Guilty for my mother's sickness and death
I am guilty for breaking a mirror and killing her she said.
I am gulty she carried me up two sets of stairs as baby.
I am guilty she let me eat her meat so she got sick
I am guilty I was a brat
I am guilty she had psoriasis all over her body
I am guilty she was up all night soaking in a tub
I am guilty and she said God will get you
I am guilty I cut my leg with a razor as a l4yr old and noone said a thing just bought me two pairs of shorts
I am guilty when she died when I was l7 and i was put in charge of the funeral and she asked me to make sure she was buried with her rings and they removed them and my father had them
I am guilty that I broke up with my first husband and when he ran to Florida and got sick I went back with him and got pregnant
I am guilty I wanted my kids to be independant and they moved far away and don't even care about me because I'm depressed
I am guilty I married four times
I am guilty my current husband quit his job
I am guilty I have chronic lymes, mixed bag of autoimmune diseases none bad enough for meds
I am guilty I'm on disability and don't know why
I am guilty I'm getting old
I am guilty I can't guarantee my husband I will be happy when and whereever we move as no job here
I am guilty I am numb
I am guilty my Son lost his sight and two finger tips in Desert Storm and I couldn't get him released
I am guilty my daughter-in-law divorce my son took my only grandson and kept away our bond
I am guilty they got remarried and the bond had never formed
I am guilty I can't find a med to get me over my depression.
I am guilty I'm not as smart as all the people on Pbabble cause they all found a drug mix that works.
I am guilty I am afraid to die
I am guilty and hate myself. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2005, at 0:06:54
In reply to Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, posted by Phillipa on August 19, 2005, at 23:19:04
(((Phillipa)))
I'm sorry you feel so bad.
Its not your fault
None of its your fault
There are lots of people who haven't managed to find the perfect med...
I'm glad you are here
(((Phillipa)))
Posted by Sonya on August 20, 2005, at 8:23:35
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » Phillipa, posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2005, at 0:06:54
(((((((Phillipa))))))
I care about you. Please care about yourself, too.
Love,
Sonya
Posted by ClearSkies on August 20, 2005, at 21:28:28
In reply to Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, posted by Phillipa on August 19, 2005, at 23:19:04
ever, ever, ever.
None of this is your fault, sweetie. Besides, *I* cornered the market on guilt and stuck it all on the substance board.
love,
ClearSkies
Posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2005, at 21:35:30
In reply to Not in the court of pbabble » Phillipa, posted by ClearSkies on August 20, 2005, at 21:28:28
> *I* cornered the market on guilt and stuck it all on the substance board.
LOL! Can the rest of us buy shares????
;-)
Posted by cockeyed on August 20, 2005, at 21:57:48
In reply to Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, posted by Phillipa on August 19, 2005, at 23:19:04
This is useless drivel but hwat the hell; when in hell one is guilty. Very simple, quaint it ain't.
I have to write a letter to myself for my T. Oh, joy. I like to write B.S. So I fathomed my tortured psyche for guilt. I'd have to write too much. So, I've decided to write how wonderfull I've been. Or Whatever. How marvy to wake up fouled in the nets of depression. What a wonderful world.
I've decided that my guilt is a form of bass-ackwards revenge on all those who "meant well". I don't mean well.
If I were well I'd be doing something else and doing it well. But this is it. The only thing you should feel guilty about is using the word "fondly" What the hell is that supposed to mean? Oh, while I'm at it, "HUMBLE" i've got a lot to be humble about. Not to mention "guilt"
guilt like s**t happens. Let us pray for a break, maybe things will get better. I think that is called "hope" Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
I think I'm gonna become a Unitarian. Cockeyed.
Posted by Phillipa on August 20, 2005, at 22:11:31
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » Phillipa, posted by cockeyed on August 20, 2005, at 21:57:48
Cockeyed, Fondly? I don't know. What word do you think I should use? I just startly using it. Maybe I should use love . What do you think? Love Phillipa, PJ or give me a new name.
Posted by ed_uk on August 21, 2005, at 7:21:48
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » cockeyed, posted by Phillipa on August 20, 2005, at 22:11:31
Hi PJ!
I like it how you say fondly. It's so you!
Fondly
~Ed x
Posted by john berk on August 21, 2005, at 16:37:36
In reply to Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, posted by Phillipa on August 19, 2005, at 23:19:04
phillipa,
i thought that was incredible, you totally bared your soul, [hopefully you purged your guilt, though you are not guilty on all counts].it's odd, i always thought your expression "fondly" was so sincere, i was going to "cop" it for myself, lol, though not on babble!! please, don't be that hard on yourself, your friend....john
Posted by Phillipa on August 21, 2005, at 17:14:55
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » Phillipa, posted by ed_uk on August 21, 2005, at 7:21:48
Thank you Ed. It is the word I feel when I respond to others. And I thought it was mean to question the word. Fondly, PJ O
Posted by Phillipa on August 21, 2005, at 17:16:44
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » Phillipa, posted by john berk on August 21, 2005, at 16:37:36
John that's exactly what it's meant to be and is. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on August 21, 2005, at 19:14:36
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » john berk, posted by Phillipa on August 21, 2005, at 17:16:44
Fondly suits you
Don't go changing on us now.He's a joker...
Don't go taking it personally.
Posted by Phillipa on August 21, 2005, at 19:44:15
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » Phillipa, posted by alexandra_k on August 21, 2005, at 19:14:36
That was sweet Alex Thanks I won't. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Damos on August 21, 2005, at 19:58:09
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » Phillipa, posted by alexandra_k on August 20, 2005, at 0:06:54
Phillipa,
I'm sorry I'm so very late to see this. there seems to have been an epidemic of these kinds of feelings going round lately.
Although you may feel guilty, you are NOT guilty. One of the hardest things I'm learning is that everything bad that has ever happended is not all my fault. It's not yours either. I'm sorry you're feeling so low right now. Thinking of you.
Posted by Jedi on August 22, 2005, at 3:37:06
In reply to Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, posted by Phillipa on August 19, 2005, at 23:19:04
Hi Phillipa,
You are one of those people that have been through a lot of Hell in your life. I was lucky, I didn't go through much Hell until the major depressions hit. You are not guilty of anything. You sure can't control other people's actions and responses so you can't be guilty of anything that someone else does. The word I like to use on myself is accountability. This gives me the power to change the things in myself that I need to change. I know that when we are in the despair of major depression it is hard to be accountable. But, if I'm not in control of a situation, I can't change it.From the things I've read, you are a good caring person, and I wish you the very best.
Fondly,
Jedi
PS My profession brings me in contact with a lot of evil in the world. That is not you!
Posted by alexandra_k on August 22, 2005, at 5:33:39
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, posted by Phillipa on August 21, 2005, at 19:44:15
:-)
You are sweet, Phillipa.
You bubble along
And its cheery and warming.
You don't post this stuff often...
(But then I don't read everything)
Sometimes it can be good to vent.We care about you
If you disappeared you'd be missed
Fears can be horrible
But you are not alone
Posted by AdaGrace on August 22, 2005, at 8:02:26
In reply to Re: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty » Phillipa, posted by alexandra_k on August 22, 2005, at 5:33:39
It's a warm whimsical way of ending a post. I actually envy it. It sorta rhymes. What can I use?
Angy AdaGrace
Displaced AdaGrace
Laidback AdaGraceNO NO NO these are descriptive words. I need something that is an appropriate end to a post, letter, or e-mail
Best Regards AdaGrace
Poooo that sounds rediculous.
I think I'll just stick to jjustplainjjane's way of leaving (which by the way, she has left on a jet plane and never returned, is she sailing the south of France? Is she taking a slow boat to China? Has she hermitized herself in the land of the north where God and man walk among the deer and the antelope?)
Anyhoo.......
It's me,
Ada, full of shyte, Grace
Posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2005, at 2:32:25
In reply to Fondly Phillipa » alexandra_k, posted by AdaGrace on August 22, 2005, at 8:02:26
It used to crack me up how you used to write Ada f*cked up Grace. I'm not sure why... Maybe I'm slightly infantile, but I found it funny. Alexandra f*cked up _k doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Hmm... How about alexandra f*cked up _k???? Like I have to ask permission. Heh heh. I need to get some sleep. Can you tell????
Ah... But fondly is nice too :-)
And probably less likely to cause offence.
I do swear rather a lot...
Posted by Phillipa on August 23, 2005, at 13:43:54
In reply to Re: Fondly Phillipa » AdaGrace, posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2005, at 2:32:25
Alex, remember the picture you sent a long time ago. It was at uni and it said a lot. We lost it when our computer pooped out. If you find time would you send it again. I have a folder of Babble buddies and their pics want to add you back. Thank, and Fondly Phillipa
Posted by rainbowbrite on September 2, 2005, at 12:35:08
In reply to Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, posted by Phillipa on August 19, 2005, at 23:19:04
(((Phillipa)))
Its not your fault!
Im sorry you were feeling so bad.
This is the end of the thread.
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